


A Monster Without Teeth

by VirgilVirgilVirgil



Series: Gravity [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Family, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Friendship/Love, Growing Up, Hate Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Protective Hux, Rough Sex, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 20:41:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 60,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11540064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VirgilVirgilVirgil/pseuds/VirgilVirgilVirgil
Summary: Five years after the destruction of the Starkiller Base, after faking his death to the galaxy, Armitage Hux has settled into a quiet, domestic life on a sparsely populated planet in Wild Space. Other than the occasional, unsettling presence of Kylo Ren, he finds himself strangely happy, with the one thing he never thought he'd have: a family. But when an unexpected trip to another planet threatens the foundation of this new life, he and his family are left questioning how much the ex-General has really changed.You do not need to read the prequel, Guilt & Whiskey, it to understand this story-- it just provides more context for how Hux ended up where he is.





	1. Chapter 1

“Armitage…” The girl quirked her head to the side blinked at him like she had something stuck in her eye. She gave a wide, toothy smile that was distinctly familiar to him. She was about to ask for something.

“I need a new pair of work goggles.”

He wasn’t going to say no. He couldn’t remember ever using the word when Cerys had asked for something. He was beginning to think the word evaporated out of his vocabulary every time he saw her. She knew this, but she was at least polite enough to pretend she didn’t.

“Don’t you make your own money now? Why do I have to keep buying you things?”

“Well… I mean yes, I do, but I spent the payment from my last job on a larger case for my tools…”

“Aren’t you in the middle of a repair job? Get them to give you an advance.”

She bared her teeth, her tongue pinched between them, “Well I would but… I sort of already did so I could order more tools for my new case…”

“Brilliant. Didn’t I just buy you new goggles six or seven months ago?”

“Yes – well -- but you haven’t seen these new ones. They’re a huge improvement.” She slid her datapad across the table, the specs of the new-and-improved goggles on display. She’d come prepared. Of course she did. She was his daughter, after all. “They actually do some voice responsive computing, so if I’m in the middle of a project and I need to figure something out but I can’t use my hands…” She swiped around on the screen, showing him images of the new feature. “It’s almost revolutionary, really. I mean look at that…”

Armitage nodded, “That’s actually pretty neat…”

“Right?! I mean look…” She started rambling about the different uses. If she were anyone else he’d be certain she was feigning excitement and interest just to churn up some empathy in him, but she always got this genuinely excited about little things.

“So…”

He shook his head, waving a hand. “Yes, yes of course just order one for yourself.”

She straightened up to her usual, reserved posture and raised her eyebrows. “A wise investment, Armitage.”

“Hm…” Mila peered over the girl’s shoulder at the screen. “Oh… are those the new ones? I’ve been wanting to get a pair of those…”

The two women looked across the table at him, grinning.

He sighed. There really was no hope. “Mila… you’re up early.” The sun was just starting to rise. She usually slept for a few hours after the sun came up.

She walked around the table to him, “You woke me up. It would be fantastic if you would not to turn the lights on when you wake up before the sun…”

“It might be good for you to wake up a little earlier…”

“Mmm…” She pretended to think about it as she slid into his lap. “We both know that won’t happen.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cerys sneaking away to give them some privacy. He wished that Mila wouldn’t do this in front of her, but she had warned him when she took both he and his daughter in in that she was not, and never would be, a motherly type.

He caught Cerys’ eye with a discrete nod and held up two fingers behind Mila’s back.

Cerys grinned at him and nodded, leaving them.

 

**

 

It had only been 5 years since both women became part of his life. On one hand, it had flown by. It seemed not that long ago that he was looking through a transparent protective shield of a New Republic prison, breath caught in his throat as he looked at a face that he’d never seen before but was somehow distinctly familiar. He’d felt a sort of crushing sadness mixed with sheer panic as the little girl, holding back tears, told him the name of her recently deceased mother. Vale Mazelle, a woman he’d had a brief, illicit affair with nearly a decade before.

On the other hand, that little girl had changed so much in the past 5 years that it also seemed like an eternity had passed. Her nymphish little face had grown cheekbones and she was taller. She really wasn’t a little girl any more, though he tried to deny it as much as possible.

Mila, the woman who had broken him out of the New Republic prison and orchestrated his faked death so both the New Republic and First Order would stop chasing him, served as a sort of grounding figure whenever everything seemed to move too fast. She had barely changed at all. There was a brief period of distress a few years prior when she came home one evening with pink hair (When he had expressed his concern, Cerys, 14 at the time, had informed him he was too old-fashioned. Mila had told him to fuck off.), but other than that next to nothing had changed. She barely appeared to have aged, and certainly had not aged at all personality-wise.

Mila wrapped her bare legs around his waist and burried her face in the back of his neck. “Where do you think you’re going?”

He clasped his fingers around her ankle and closed his eyes, trying to log the feeling into some permanent memory storage section of his mind. She’d already managed to drag him back into their bed once. He needed to get up. “I have things to do Mila. I need to…”

She growled a little, pushing her face to the side of his neck, nuzzling into his beard. “You need to what? It’s raining outside. What could you possibly have to do that is better than this?”

He let her pull him back into bed. “I wonder that every time I get out of bed.”

She smirked against his skin and flipped on top of him, pushing his chest down into the sheets. “Tell mr, whatever happened to the man who wanted to rule the galaxy?”

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her down onto him, kissing her. It’d been one of the biggest questions on his mind for the past several years. He still hadn’t quite found the answer to it. “I think he’s just been… terribly distracted for a few years.”

“Hm… The real question is: Is he happy being distracted?”

That was the thing that never failed to amaze him: he never would have thought, in all his life, that he’d be happy living some quaint, quiet life in the backwoods of some secluded little planet. Honestly, he never thought he’d be happy at all. Somehow he’d landed somewhere entirely unexpected and unwanted and somehow disturbingly perfect.

“Armitage…” She nudged him when he didn’t respond, “Are you okay?”

He buried his nose in her hair, “Yes. No. I’m more than okay.”

“If you continue down this path, Armitage, I may start to think that you are a nice man.”

“I certainly wouldn’t want that.”

She laughed, “I am a little worried about you though.”

“How so?”

“That girl is going to break your heart.”

He frowned. “Cerys? What do you mean by that?”

“She is growing up.”

“And?”

“And she is going to leave us. You do everything you can to keep her from exploring the universe, but she has far too much of you in her to not want out eventually. Frankly, I’m surprised _you_ haven’t gone completely mad on this little planet.”

“I have good reason to not send her off to… explore, or whatever it is you think she wants to do.”

“I am not denying that. But you know this is true. She is a young woman now. You have to let her go at some point.”

He didn’t like to think about it, though he was entirely aware that it was true.

“She will probably want to go on one of Ren’s adventures…”

He couldn’t stop a pained “Unf…” from escaping his mouth. “Don’t say that.” It was the only thing he really couldn’t stand about where he'd ended up. Somehow, after so many drastic changes, Ren was  _still_ in the picture. He had Mila’s sister to thank for that. They’d been… well, he wasn’t entirely sure what their status was, but for lack of any better way to explain they’d been physically (and possibly emotionally?) involved since Ren and Hux departed from the Order.

Mila laughed, “I am teasing… sort of. He would be happy to take her.”

Hux rubbed his face, “No. No. Just… no.”

The oddest thing about Ren being in his life was that Cerys had developed some sort of bond with the man. She referred to him as her Uncle, a concept that Hux found utterly terrifying.

“Speaking of Ren, have you seen him recently? I haven’t seen him in some time… Has he visited my sister?”

“Not in months, as far as I know.”

Mila was the one frowning now. “They got into a fight, last I heard…”

Mika and Ren’s arguments were by no stretch of the imagination unusual. The two were completely unstable as individuals; as a couple they may as well have been deemed radioactive. They had somehow managed to stay together all these years. Mika had remained on the planet with them, while Ren did whatever he was doing around the galaxy and frequently returned to the planet to visit. Every few months the two would argue and Ren would storm off, then reappear a few weeks later like nothing had happened. He’d never disappeared for a few months though.

“Those two…” He shook his head, “It’s like watching a train wreck in really, really slow motion.”

“Mmm… I think they are more stable than you give them credit for. They just need to run their relationship differently than most. They need more space.”

“Is that what you’d call it? Speaking of your sister, it’s been almost a week since I’ve seen her. We’re due in for a visit soon.”

Mila rested on his chest, running her fingers through his hair. It made him tired. “I am sure we will see her today or tomorrow. You’re turning grey, you know?”

“Mph… don’t remind me.”

“It is not bad. I like it.”

“That makes one of us.”

A few minutes later he fell asleep to the feeling of her fingers in his hair.

 

**

 

When Cerys finally saw the two of them again, it was early afternoon. They did this from time to time, disappearing into their room for half the day and leaving her to fend for herself. She tried not to acknowledge it, half because she really didn’t want to think about it and half because Armitage was clearly very bothered by the fact that she was aware of it.

After a few years of living with the two, she came to realize how good Mila was for him. She was fairly certain the man would have given himself an aneurysm by now without Mila. She was a little more centered than Armitage. She had a way of dragging him away from his more extreme habits and reminding him to lighten up and live a little.

Cerys was in the kitchen with Mika when the two reappeared. Mila was excited to see her sister; she usually visited at least once a week but it had been nearly two whole weeks since they’d seen her. Mila had always been protective of her sister – she was blind, and for some reason Mila took it upon herself to be her sister’s guardian. Not that Mika really needed a guardian. She was remarkably competent.

Mila hugged her sister. “Where have you been? You have not come to see us in so long.”

Mika gave an awkward smile. “It has been raining… I haven’t really wanted to go outside.”

“That is an excuse. We’re only a 20 minute walk away.”

“Well you could come visit me. Or have you been too busy fucking?”

Armitage rubbed his face, leaving the room. He didn’t have much of a tolerance for Mika’s uncensored outbursts. Mila looked at her sister with her mouth hanging open, then laughed. “Oh… okay we will come visit you next time.”

Mika frowned, picking at her fingernails.

Mila looked to Cerys, an eyebrow raised. Mika was almost never in a bad mood. Something definitely felt off. She switched to their native language. Cerys had, much to Mila and Mika’s delight, begun to pick up on the language a few months after beginning to live with them. She still wasn’t fluent in it, but Mila and Mika seemed to enjoy coaching her. They rarely spoke the language around Armitage, who was perpetually irritated when he couldn’t understand what was being said in front of him.

“How long has it been since you’ve seen Ren?”

The question certainly didn’t help Mika’s mood. Her frown deepened. “I do not want to talk about him.”

“It’s been months since we’ve seen him around here.”

“The last time you saw him was the last time I did.”

Mila nodded, watching her sister closely. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Quit pestering me with questions.”

“I was about to start lunch,” Cerys said quickly, before Mila could ask another question. “Stay and eat with us, Mika.”

Mika grunted. She looked very tired. Cerys could remember years ago when she first met Mika, she’d always worn these huge goggles to cover the scarring around her eyes, and kept her three cybernetic limbs covered all the time. She’d once gone off on Armitage for walking into the room when she and Mila were repairing a wiring issue on her arm. But she didn’t seem so shy about any of that anymore, at least not around them. She still kept her cybernetics covered in public, but never wore the goggles anymore. Instead she wore dark tinted eyeglasses to make the scarring less noticeable. In their home, she would even take off the glasses and gloves.

Cerys started cutting up food. Mila idly chatted with Mika, and Armitage finally rejoined them. She threw the veggies in a pan, heating them until the fragrance started to fill the room.

“What are you making?”

Cerys glanced over her shoulder, about to brag about her concoction; Mika was a sick shade of green.

“Ah… should I shut the heat off? Are you okay Mika?”

Mika stood quickly and sprinted from the room, her hand over her mouth. Cerys was silently thankful she visited often enough to know the layout of their home without seeing. She could be heard vomiting in the bathroom down the hallway.

Mila looked down the hallway after her sister, her fingers pressed to her lips. Cerys turned the heat off. She wanted to check on Mika; clearly she was not feeling well at all. But Mila put up a hand to stop her, shaking her head, “No… Just… stay out here for a minute.” She scurried off down the hall to the bathroom.

Armitage looked a little disgusted. “Pleasant. I think I’ve lost my appetite.”

“I hope she’s okay…”

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow, “You’re joking, right? She’s missing three quarters of the limbs on her body, can’t see, and has literally had her skull crushed before. I’m sure she’s fine.”

Cerys couldn’t hide a smile. Mika always made the claim that Cerys was like a perfected version of Armitage: smart, clever, analytical, and with the much needed addition of a sense of humor. While she appreciated the sentiment, she’d always thought Armitage had a fantastic sense of humor, whenever he chose to show it.

Down the hallway, Mika was suddenly sobbing, gasping something in their language so quickly that Cerys couldn’t understand it. She caught a few words: _Ren_ , mentioned several times, and _afraid_.

If there was one thing Armitage had never been able to handle, it was tears. He suddenly looked very uncomfortable. “What are they talking about?”

“She’s talking too fast, I can’t understand.” She didn’t want to mention the few bits she did understand. Out of context, it seemed very bad.

He frowned, tapping the table. “I’m going for a walk.” He grabbed a coat from the closet and made his way out the front door so quickly it was almost comical. She hadn’t been able to figure out why he got so anxious around tears. She’d come to the conclusion he didn’t know how to handle them: on one hand, he found them weak. On the other, he was sincerely concerned.

She tried to remember if she’d ever seen Mila cry. It must have been one of the reasons he adored the woman so much.

Cerys packaged up the food for storage and cleaned the area. By the time she finished, she could see Mila pacing up and down the far end of the hallway.

“Everything okay?” She called down the hallway.

Mila put a finger over her lips, coming down the hallway to her. “Shush. She’s in the spare room. Where is Armitage?”

“He went for a walk.”

Mila frowned, looking increasingly concerned. “How long ago?”

“Maybe ten minutes ago… he should be back soon. You know how he gets with crying. Mila… What’s going on? I couldn’t understand her. Is Ren okay?”

Mila waved a hand, “Oh… yes, Ren is quite okay. We will discuss when Armitage gets back.”

“Does she need anything?”

“No. Well… yes. But no, don’t go into her room. She just needs some time.” She paused. "I need to ask her something." She returned to Mika's the room.

Cerys had a bad feeling about the situation. She wasn’t sure she entirely trusted Mila when she said Ren was okay. Why else would Mika be so upset, sobbing about Ren? And none of them had seen him in months… She couldn’t imagine if something happened to Ren. She’d always wished, since they first settled on this planet, that he would live here permanently, with Mika. She’d asked him once, when she was much younger, why he wouldn’t just stay put. He told her that it just wasn’t in his ethos to stay in one spot long, then slid in a snide comment about “The General’s” ignorance in not letting her go explore the galaxy more.

She sincerely wished Ren and Armitage got along better. For as much as she loved Ren, she hated his constant critique of Armitage’s… well, everything. Even more than that, she hated that he referred to him as “The General”. She’d always been well aware of who her father was; she’d seen his infamous speech once when she was a little girl. Somehow her mind had separated them as two as different people: The General, terrifying and vengeful, and Armitage, reserved, slightly neurotic, and brimming with an endless amount of something he would never admit was love for she and Mila.

Armitage returned and hung his coat perfectly in the closet, glancing down the hallway, “It’s… quiet.”

A door opened and closed down the hallway, and Mila joined them, a smile on her face. “Sit.” She shooed them into seats, then sat opposite them. “So…”

Cerys was utterly confused by Mila’s smile. She’d convinced herself something utterly horrible had happened to Ren.

Mila tapped her fingers together nervously, inhaling sharply as she tried to think of the words she wanted to use. She looked at Armitage, then at Cerys, “So my sister is pregnant.”

Both she and Armitage let out an “Oh!” at the same time, but in very different tones.

Armitage rubbed his lower lip, “It’s Ren’s?”

Cerys kicked his ankle under the table. “Of course it’s Ren’s!”

He shook his head. “Right. Right. But she’s certain it’s Ren’s?”

Mila rolled her eyes. “Armitage, really. Yes. It’s his.”

A wrinkle formed between his eyebrows. “Oh dear…”

Cerys forced herself to stay seated. “Does that mean Ren will be coming back soon? Oh, he’s going to be a fantastic father…”

Armitage looked like he might fall out of his chair.

“Well,” Mila was trying not to laugh at his expression, “That’s the thing… Ren left two months ago, before she knew…”

“Does he really not even leave contact information for her?”

“You know how they are, Armitage. Of course he doesn’t leave contact information.”

He frowned. “I can’t fathom how he functions…”

“So,” Mila spoke over him, “How do you two feel about a little… trip?”

“Oh! To find Ren? That sound fantastic… we haven’t used the ship in quite awhile…”

“Ah… Absolutely not. What are we supposed to do? Run around the galaxy trying to find him?”

“Of course not.” Mika came out of the hallway. “I know where he is. I think.”

“You _think_?”

“He has a home on a small outer rim planet, not too far from here. I’m not certain he is there, but it would be a good place to start.”

“To start? Do you even know where he lives on this planet or are we supposed to search the whole damn planet?”

“Armitage.” Mila leaned on the table, looking at him with an eyebrow raised. “ _I_ am helping my sister. _You_ need to decide if you are going to help.”

He frowned at her. He was always so resistant to leaving their home. “Mila…”

Mila leaned back and crossed her arms. Cerys tried not to laugh. They did this sometimes. They may have been the two most pigheaded people in the galaxy; when they were at ends she and Mika liked to make bets on who would give in first.

Armitage would lose this one. His expression said he already knew.

He sighed, “Fine. Fine.”

Cerys bit her lip to stop herself from letting out a whoop. She hadn't been off planet since they'd settled here, years ago. At times, she thought she might go stir crazy. And she could tell Armitage felt it too, he just would never admit it.

Mika clapped her hands, “Good! So…”

Armitage cleared his throat, “But we need a plan. We’re not just…”

“I have one, actually.”

Armitage looked floored by Mika’s statement. She was generally not one for making plans. “Really? Do tell?”

She wandered to the table and sat next to her sister. “So… What is the fastest way to track down a Force user?”

Armitage looked clueless. He’d always been vexed by the whole “Force” thing. He was a very practical, grounded person; something as spiritually based as the Force was nothing more than a frustration to him.

“Really? Nobody knows? We find someone who can feel his presence. Another Force user.”

Armitage nodded, “Ah… Brilliant. Let’s just head into the village center and ask around. I’m sure someone can point us in the right direction…”

Mika sighed loudly. “It really is too bad you have no sense of humor… that was almost funny.”

“Mika… he’s not wrong.” Armitage mouthed a thank you to Cerys when she agreed with him. “It’s not entirely easy to find Force users.”

Mila was biting the tip of her thumb. “Actually… It might not be a half bad idea. Let me speak to some of our old contacts…”

“I’m not sure how much I like that idea Mila…” Armitage warned.

“You are joking, right?” Mika smirked. “This sounds utterly exciting… reaching out to our black market contacts to find a Force user…”

Armitage looked like he was in pain. “It sounds like an utterly awful idea.”

Mila was already typing a message into her datapad, “Too late. Let’s just see what happens.”


	2. Chapter 2

Armitage walked around the ship, doing a quick inspection of the exterior. They’d upgraded to a larger ship shortly after escaping the Republic. Mila and Mika’s old ship was a fantastic size for two people, but with he and Cerys and occasionally Ren in the picture, something much bigger was desperately needed.

They’d settled on something almost three times the size, with four rooms and, as both Mila and Mika had insisted, a much larger kitchen. In the years since, the four of them made a project of almost entirely gutting the ship to make massive improvements, from operational systems to mechanics. It was a project he was rather proud of, born mostly of his boredom being stuck on the tiny planet. Ironic, considering they’d barely used the ship.

He was leery of leaving the planet. Mila and Mika had conspired to falsify his death aboard a Republic transport vehicle that met rather explosive demise, so the galaxy was under the impression that justice had been served and the infamous Armitage Hux had met his end. They’d then carefully selected a very sparsely populated, backwaters planet to reside on. Mika chose to live in one of the few villages on the planet, while he, Mila, and Cerys lived a few miles outside the village, in a secluded little home. Hux, having been told numerous times that he was barely recognizable with his facial hair, kept it grown out, went by another name to the villagers (Donovan Kett… he wasn’t entirely fond of it, Mila had picked it, but not many people used his name anyway), and made a point to avoid large centers of people where he could potentially be recognized.

Mila stood in the docking area, smirking at him, “Admit it, you’re enjoying this.”

“Hm?”

“You’re marching around like you’re a General again. You can’t help yourself.”

He frowned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She walked down the docking ramp to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. “You miss it, don’t you? Being on a ship. Being out there, in space.”

Of course he did. It was his life. He existed in a state of constant movement for so many years. But… He shrugged, “I had to sacrifice a few things. Nothing that wasn’t worth sacrificing.”

She smiled up at him, “Secretly, you are a good man.”

“Don’t make the mistake of believing that.” He peered into the ship, “Where is Cerys?”

“Checking over the engine, like you told her to.”

He nodded, “Good. Good. And this… this Force user you’ve located?”

“Should be here any time.”

“He’s late. Do we even know anything about this man? Is it even a man?”

She pulled the datapad from her satchel and brought up the last correspondence with her old contact, “Well… We’ve been working with Trip. You know how he can be, so vague all the time… He used the word “he”, so yes, I think we can expect a man.”

“And that’s all we know? You really couldn’t get any more information? How are we even supposed to know we’re speaking with the right person?”

She shrugged, “I asked him in my last message with him.” She handed the datapad to Armitage.

Armitage read the message:

> _Dark hair, dark eyes. Looks like a Force user. You’ll know him when you see him._

He handed the device back to her, “A man of few words. Looks like a Force user? What’s that supposed to mean? He didn’t even give you a name?”

“Well, we did mention the project would be on a no-name basis. It may be unfair to judge him for not giving us his name when we won’t give him ours.”

Armitage nodded a little. “I suppose. Is Mika going to be okay being on a ship?”

“She will be fine. Just… vomiting a lot.”

“I mean with…” He waved a hand, “I don’t know anything about this. With the pregnancy? Is she safe to travel?”

Mila gave him a suspicious little smile. “Yes, she is safe. You’re concerned?”

“I don’t know the first thing about this. All I know is that if something went wrong Ren would entirely blame me, and the last thing I want is that maniac thinking I somehow damaged his next of kin.”

“She will be fine, I promise. This is safe for her.” She looked off to the trail leading from their home. “Oh. I believe that would be our Force user.”

Armitage frowned as he came into sight.

“He is younger than I was expecting…” Mila waved to the newcomer.

He was very young; he must have been in his late teens. As the message read, he had dark hair, buzzed on either side, with a longer strip running down the center of his scalp. He was wearing some sort of layered black top with tattered grey strips of something that might be a scarf, wrapped high around his neck and hanging down to his knees. His pants were so bizarre Hux wasn’t even entirely sure they were pants. They sort of crossed over in the front and ballooned out loosely, then got more fitted around his ankles, where they tucked into boots.

Hux realized Trip’s description was shockingly accurate: _looks like a Force user._

“I assume you’re the people I’m looking for?” The boy said when he was within earshot. Hux half expected some off the wall accent, but he sounded relatively normal, with a core-world accent similar to Ren’s.

“I believe so.” Mila held out a hand, “Welcome.”

He shook her hand. “Sorry I’m running late. Trip didn’t give me much information… I had to ask around in that little village to find out how to get here. He didn’t even bother to tell me what you all looked like. Just said something about two short women with dark hair.”

“He does have a way with words, doesn’t he?” Mila laughed.

He tilted his head a little, smiling in a sort of earnest way that made Hux want to vomit. “I’m sorry… are you Ysookian? I travel quite a bit, but I don’t think I’ve ever met a Ysookian person before. Your accent is really beautiful.”

Mila nodded, “Yes, thank you.”

Hux cut into the conversation with a sniff. “Well, it’s fantastic you’re finally here. Do you have a name?”

“Er… Yeah. It’s Iz.”

“Iz? That’s it?” He could see Mila glaring at him.

“Well… um…” His voice trailed off and he looked slightly distracted, looking at something inside the ship.

Hux glanced back and saw Cerys pulling herself up from the under workings of the ship. She’d finished her final inspection, and was absolutely filthy with engine grease.

“Oh! Is he here?” She stood quickly and joined them.

The boy looked like he’d swallowed his tongue. He stammered for a moment, “Ah… no. No. It’s actually Itzuazua… People just call me Iz.”

“I can see why.” Hux said blatantly. Mila gave him a warning glare.

Cerys held out a hand, “It’s fantastic to meet you, Iz.”

He hadn’t taken his eyes off her since she joined them. He shook her hand.

“Well, I need to go clean up. Thanks for coming to help us, Iz. I’ll see you guys in a few.” She hopped off the side of the ramp and made her way to the house, his eyes following after her for a moment. He shook his head and looked at Hux. Evidently Hux wasn’t doing a good job of masking his thoughts; Mila frequently told him he was terrible about controlling his face.

“Oh… Oh… she must be your…”

“My daughter. Yes.”

“You have the same hair.”

“You’re perceptive, aren’t you?”

Mila bit her lip, trying not to laugh. “Iz, why don’t you come with me? I’ll show you where your room will be.”

“Room? Oh… thank you.”

Did he not expect a room?

“I don’t need much space…”

 

**

 

Iz was completely relieved when the woman pulled him away from that red-haired man… The look on his face was utterly terrifying.

“Ah… so Trip did tell me that you’d prefer not to use names but… Is there something I should call you?”

She glanced over her shoulder at him. “You can call me M. I was expecting you to be an old man. I think we all were. How old are you?”

“Eighteen.”

“Eighteen? They sent us a young one?” Another heavily accented Ysookian voice came from one of the rooms. A nearly identical short woman stood in the doorway. Aside from hairstyle, the only thing differentiating she and M was scarring near her eyes. She wore dark glasses, probably to help hide the scars.

He’d somewhat lied earlier when he said Trip had told him to look for two short, dark haired women. He’d actually told him, “Look for two nearly identical women. Short, dark hair, complete knockouts. One of them has a fucked up face but she’s still a knockout. It’s weird.”

Trip was an odd man.

He wasn’t wrong though, both women were attractive for their age. He didn’t think the one had a “fucked up” face though. The scarring didn’t seem that bad.

“Ah, yes, he’s quite young. You should see him.” M winked at him, “He is a handsome young man.”

“Er…” He looked at the newcomer. She should see him? She was standing right in front of him. “Oh. You can’t see?”

She waved a hand in front of her glasses, “Mm. Completely blind. Thank you for agreeing to take on this project… What’s your name?”

“Iz.”

“Iz? That’s an odd name.”

“It’s actually Itzazuza.”

She was quiet for a moment. “Did you sneeze or is that your name?”

He laughed. His name was awful for most people to pronounce. He was used to the jokes.

She said something to her sister in what he assumed was Ysookian. It was such an uncommon language; he’d never actually heard anyone speak it before. M said something back to her and she grinned deviously – it made him a little worried. “Iz… it’s good of you to agree to this trip.” She held out a hand, “My name is Mika.”

M hissed something at her and she waved it off casually. “It is fine, shush. He can know my name if I want to tell him. He is good.”

“Honestly, I don’t know much about the job… I’m helping you all track down some Force user?”

M shook her head, “You should get settled and acquainted first. We can talk about the job later. Your room is the last one on the right. Go get settled, Mika and I are going to make food before we leave… you must be hungry?”

“Uh… yeah. Thank you.” He made his way back to the room.

There was a bed and a chair in the room. He tried to remember the last time he had a room to himself. He’d spent the past few years skipping from planet to planet, ship to ship. He’d slept on benches, chairs, floors of rooms packed with half a dozen people, on makeshift mats in caves… but he couldn’t recall the last time he slept on a regular bed with a mattress in a private room. It felt ridiculously luxurious and somehow wrong.

He’d brought all his belongings with him in his satchel. A few spare changes of clothes and a lightsaber. He set the bag on the bed and decided he was pretty much settled in. He wasn’t sure what they wanted him to do while they made food. Getting settled never took him much time.

He turned to the door just as the ginger girl walked in. She wasn’t covered in grease anymore, but her orange hair was still wet from showering, pulled up on the top of her head. He hadn’t meant to stare at her earlier. She was just very… striking with her orange hair and freckles.

“I’m sorry, I completely forgot I left some of my things in your closet… I’m just going to clear them out so you have more room…”

“Um…” He wanted to say something, but his mind flatlined. He was a little distracted by the vibe coming off her – she was buzzing with energy, but in a distinctly controlled way.

She threw open the closet and he saw it was packed full of all sorts of gadgets and tools. She started loading up.

“Oh… I don’t need much room.”

She paused and looked at him, then at the bag on the bed. “Is that all you have?”

“Uh. Yeah.”

She looked into the packed closet, “Are you certain? It’s not a problem for me to move everything.”

“No, no, please. You can leave everything…” He found it half remarkable that she was able to fill the entire closet with so much _stuff_.

“Well… only if you’re certain.” She piled the items back into the closet, “If you need the space later just let me know, okay?” With that, she turned to leave.

“Er… Ah, wait. Your name. You haven’t given me your name. I mean I know you all aren’t intending on sharing your actual names… Though I believe one did earlier… Mika?”

She nodded a little, “I shouldn’t be surprised by that. Mika is very…”

“Open?”

“I was going to say reckless, but that might be a kinder way of putting it. You want to know my name?” She crossed her arms and leaned against the door frame. “If you can use the Force, why don’t you just read my mind?”

“I’d rather not… It’s a little intrusive, don’t you think?”

“I’m giving you permission. Do it.” She sounded more like she was challenging him than asking him.

“Well that’s not exactly how it works…”

“Liar. I grew up around a Force user. If you’re any good you should be able to pluck it from my mind.”

“You grew up with a Force user?”

“Yes. My uncle. Don’t try to change the subject. Can you read minds or not?”

“Of course I can, I just _really_ to hate doing it. It would be one thing if I could just find exactly what I’m looking for and nothing else, but other thoughts inevitably attach themselves…”

She looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

He shook his head, “The point is I won’t just get your name, I’ll get the names of your extended family, what you ate for breakfast, and your deepest fear. Minds don’t work in any linear sort of sense, everything just gets strung together in a giant web and I end up knowing things that you don’t want me to know and most likely things I really don’t want to know either.”

She was quiet for a moment, looking at him. “Really? He never explained it like that… interesting.”

“Yes. So I’d prefer if you maybe just… told me your name? Or whatever I’m supposed to call you? Please?”

She shook her head, “You are far too nice.” With that, she left.

 

**

 

“Do none of them have normal haircuts?” Armitage remarked to Mila, watching the young man speak with Mika as she finished preparing the dinner table.

“I like his hair.”

“Ugh.”

She smirked up at him, “Something tells me you’re just being an ass because he can’t take his eyes off your daughter.”

He frowned. “It is problematic. He doesn’t seem to have much self control.”

“You’ve been around him all of 10 minutes and have determined that?”

“Yes.”

She gave him a toothy grin that almost looked like a snarl. “I think it’s fantastic. It is good for her. She needs to be around more people her age.”

“You’re probably right, but I’m not convinced having some Force user oogling her is the right approach.”

She started off to the table, “He has been very sweet so far. You should try to look past his hair.”

He followed after her, “To what? Those awful pants?”

She laughed, “Do you remember what your uniform pants looked like when we met?”

“They had purpose. They were functional.”

“They were heinous. Armitage, it is a good thing I find your self-righteousness endearing.”

He sort of hated that she waited until they were within earshot of the others to say that.

The table was packed with over a dozen different dishes; meats and cheeses, fruit, a few different spreads, some sort of small grilled fishes, an assortment of roasted vegetables, a fermented dish Mila and Mika always insisted on making that he detested... This was how they made meals, and they did it often.

Iz shook his head, looking at the spread, “This is… impressive. You do know you didn’t have to do this?”

Mila waved the comment away, “Nonsense. We have a guest, we’re about to take off on an adventure… there’s no reason to not celebrate a little.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a table like this…”

Cerys came from the house with a board of freshly sliced bread. She slid it onto the table, “The key with this sort of food is the bread, really. Has to be timed just right so it’s fresh.”

He smiled at her, “You cook? I almost can’t believe you all do this by hand… for as technically oriented as you all are, I’d have thought you’d have droids.”

“No.” The three women echoed each other.

Mika waved a hand, starting at the bread, “Food should be made by beings with taste buds. At least, this is what my sister and I were always taught when we were young.”

“And that they ground into me.” Cerys smirked and started picking at the awful fermented dish. She’d loved it since the first time Mila made it for her. Hux couldn’t quite stomach it.

Mila smiled, glancing at Hux, “Yes it did take some work to get her on board with that, didn’t it? The girl was very used to having droids do the work.”

Hux almost laughed remembering Mila and Mika trying to teach the girl to cook. He’d been indifferent to the entire thing; he’d always had droids make his food and didn’t see the necessity of teaching her. There were many, many tears from the little girl and he’d tried to talk Mila out of teaching her several times because the girl clearly hated it. But Mila had insisted, telling him that she wasn’t going to live with two people incapable of cooking so either he or the girl had to learn. At that point he’d decided it was probably a good skill to widen her breadth of knowledge and let Mila have her way. It took a good six or seven months, but the girl gradually complained less.

Hux would never admit it to Mila, but he was of the opinion that the student had surpassed the teacher a few years ago. Her bread always turned out slightly more perfect.

Iz looked confused. “Is there somewhere I’m supposed to start?”

“Whatever looks best,” Mila was loading up a slice of bread with some thinly shaved meat. She nodded to Hux with a little knowing grin, “Not hungry?”

She knew he didn’t like eating around outsiders. “Not particularly. I might have a little.”

Iz seemed to have decided that everything looked best and was building a small mountain on his plate, intermittently shoving bits into his mouth. “That bread is amazing…”

Cerys grinned, “Thank you!”

“You made it?”

She nodded, spreading something onto a slice.

“It’s really fantastic.”

Armitage rolled his eyes. Mila was laughing at him, and pouring a glass of wine. She slid it across the table to him. He didn’t really like wine, but took it anyway. Anything to make this less painful to listen to.

They ate and chattted casually and Iz consumed roughly half the available food (Mila and Mika were very flattered by this. Armitage found it repulsive.). Armitage was on his fourth (maybe? He’d somewhat lost track…) glass of wine when Iz finally brought up something relevant.

“So… I know you told me we would discuss business later, but now seems like as good a time as ever.”

Mila sipped on a glass of wine. She kept looking across the table at Armitage with a very familiar little smirk. Beneath the table, she ran the toe of her boot against the side of his calf. “Yes, I suppose it is. What do you need to know?”

“Well… first off it would be immensely helpful for me to have something to call each of you by.”

“I tried to get him to read my mind for it earlier,” Cerys said mostly to Mika. “He wouldn’t do it.”

Mika shook her head, “What? Why not? Can you not read minds?”

“Oh, I can. I just really prefer not to. I tend to find out all kinds of things I don’t want to know about.”

“Ah… I see. He is polite. That is very sweet.”

Hux was slightly relieved that he didn’t barge into Cerys’ mind. He wasn’t entirely sure why she would have told him to. She knew very well she wasn’t supposed to give away her real name.

“I wish I could say it’s anything other than selfish… I once tried to read the passcode for a door from a man and ended up getting a load of information about a venereal disease he had just picked up…” He waved a hand, “Images and everything. It was awful.”

“Well did you at least get the code?” Mika was laughing.  Hux had always thought the whole concept of mind reading was mildly ridiculous, despite having utilized Ren’s ability to do it for interrogation purposes when they were still with the Order.

“I did get the code. Not worth it though.”

“I suppose,” Mila brought them back on track, still laughing, “If you’re going to refer to me as M, then you can call her C. And him…” She glanced over at him with the most beautiful smile. It was moments like this that were nearly painful… She was an amazingly lovely woman, to the point that it almost crushed him when she looked at him like that, “You can call him H.”

He bowed his head slightly; he was fully expecting her to say A.

She winked at him. If it weren’t for the other three present, he’d have pulled her across the table into his lap by now.

 

**

 

Cerys was really enjoying the meal. Her father had consumed just enough alcohol that he seemed to have let his guard down a little. He was generally very cautious around outsiders -- with reason -- and to add to that she’d gotten the impression he wasn’t at all fond of Iz. She should have expected that though; Armitage had some sort of predisposition against Force sensitive people.

Nonetheless, he and Mila grew progressively flirtatious throughout the night. She liked it when they got like this; it was endearing to see Armitage fawn over her, even if it was as subtle as tonight. He really did adore her. Mila was far more sober than he, and was eating up his attention. She liked to tease him when he got like this.

Mika was shockingly emotionally stable for the whole dinner. She’d been unusually moody the past week, Cerys was sure from the pregnancy. She’d started bawling a few hours prior when Mila was working on the skewered fishes, sobbing about how sad it was that a living creature had met its end only to have a stick run from its mouth to its rear. She hadn’t touched the fish yet, though she had been able to hold herself together for the entire meal so far.

Iz was interesting to her, in a sort of clinical sense. He wasn’t at all what she expected. He was much younger, and much more friendly. Ren was the only Force user she’d ever met; she’d always assumed most of them were very impulsive and brash. Iz seemed quite the opposite of that; he was very polite. He looked different than she was expecting as well. She’s not sure where he got his sense of style, but she had a strong suspicion it was a great deal of the reason Armitage wasn’t fond of him. In particular, his hair. It was buzzed on the sides and left long in the middle, swept back from his face and running down the back of his neck and hanging, at the longest, between his shoulder blades. He also dressed very oddly, though she was a bit happy he wore so many layers. She’d noticed his sleeve tug up a little as he reached across the table, exposing skin that had been entirely inked black. Armitage would not be any fonder of him knowing he had ink covering his arms.

She decided she liked his face. He had sort of beautiful high cheekbones and warm, dark eyes and tannish skin. There was something about the way he was put together that was a little off, but uniquely beautiful.

Iz had been trying to pry information out of them about the job they’d hired him for, but it was proving a difficult task to keep any of them focused. Armitage couldn’t have cared less about giving him answers, and Mila was too busy flirting with him. Mika was as unfocused as ever and Cerys was having far too much fun joking around and laughing with everyone to take his questions seriously. Luckily he didn’t seem to mind too much; she got the impression he was enjoying the meal as well.

“You know this is really not what I was expecting when I agreed to this job…”

Cerys laughed, “What were you expecting?”

He thought for a moment, “Very dark, serious people… smugglers or something. I really wasn’t expecting a… a family.”

Cerys thought about it for a moment. “I guess we are a family. We’re a little… mixed up and unusual, but yes, I guess we are.”

He looked confused.

“Ah, that is such a sweet sentiment.” Mila leaned on the table, smiling at her.

“Unusual might be an understatement though,” Mika said.

“I do wonder how this one deals with us.” Mila motioned to Armitage.

He almost smiled. “Resilience has always been one of my stronger traits.”

Mila smiled like she was baring her teeth at him, “Oh… that is a lie.”

Laughing, Iz looked across the table to her, shaking his head, “Your mother is sharp…”

It took Cerys a moment to realize what he meant, and it only came to her after Mila nearly choked on her glass of wine. Mika was laughing hysterically.

“Oh… Oh god do I look old enough to be her mother???” Mila sounded sincerely panicked. She may have had some vanity problems; Cerys was sure she’d have a minor crisis over the implication.

Armitage rubbed his forehead, “No. No, you don’t.”

Iz looked like he was panicking a little, “Oh… er… no… I’m sorry… I really thought you looked very young to be her mother… I just assumed.”

Mila prodded the skin on her face, frowning deeply.

Iz gave Cerys an apologetic looking nervous smile from across the table. She shook her head, laughing at him. “Yeah, she’s not my mother.”

“You know you don’t look like you’re old enough to be her mother.” Armitage’s tone indicated he’d been through this conversation more than once before. “Weren’t you standing right next to me last time we went into town and that woman thought you were my daughter rather than my…” He shook his head, “Whatever you are.”

Mila’s expression changed very quickly from concern to intrigue. She raised her eyebrows and leaned across the table toward him. “Oh? What am I to you?”

Suddenly it was her father who looked like he’d swallowed his tongue. “I’m not about to step into that minefield.”

“You are already in the middle of it, dear. You may as well take a step.” She wrinkled her nose, “Hm?”

He shook his head.

“You should just call her your caretaker.” Mika snickered a little to herself.

Mila was still leaning across the table, smirking at him. She pouted at her sister’s comment, “Oh… he does not look _that_ much older than me. That woman was crazy.” She reached across the table and ran her fingers through the greying hair around his temple. Armitage’s expression changed very quickly. “You know I always thought I would be so sad when the orange went away, but now that it is starting to show they grey looks very… what is the word? Distinguished.” She glanced to Cerys, “Don’t you think?”

Cerys remembered the first time she met him, secretly feeling a little thrilled that they had the same hair. “It does look good. I can only hope I grey as nicely.”

Her father couldn’t take his eyes off Mila. She moved to his side of the table, sitting close to him on the bench.

Iz kept glancing at them with a confused looking smile. “I think I have one last question, if you all don’t mind answering before we leave…”

Mila and Armitage were completely checked out of the conversation, speaking quietly to each other.

“Don’t mind them.” Mika said with a frown. “I have good ears. You don’t want to hear what they’re saying.”

Cerys wanted to gag. Mika loved to point these things out.

“What is it you want to know?”

“Who exactly is this Force user you need me to track down? I’m assuming it’s your uncle you mentioned earlier?”

Cerys nodded, “Yes. He has a bad habit of disappearing…”

“Right… so… your uncle… he's related to your father?”

“Oh well… no. I guess he’s not really my uncle, technically.”

Mika shook her head, “Technically, but Ren is very fond of the girl. She may not _technically_ be related, but he loves her like she is blood.”

“Wait… Ren?”

Mika covered her mouth, “Oh I wasn’t supposed to say his name, was I?”

He shook his head, a crease in his brow. “No, no, really, I could care less about names, what would I do with that information anyway? But Ren… I mean there aren’t many Force users out there. Do you mean… Kylo Ren?”

Mika gave a guilty grin, “Yes.”

His mouth hung open like he wanted to say something, but nothing came out.

“This is why you weren’t supposed to say anything, Mika.” Cerys shook her head.

“No. Woah. No. Absolutely not.” He stood from the table quickly. “Look, thank you all for the meal, you’ve been fantastic, but I’m not nearly stupid enough to go try to hunt down Kylo Ren…” He took a step back from the table and looked at Cerys with a raised eyebrow, “You call Kylo Ren your _uncle_???”

Mila and Armitage turned their attention back to the table.

“I tend to agree with that sentiment,” Armitage admitted aloud.

Iz gave a nervous laugh, “Yeah. Well, I’ve never met the man, but I’ve heard enough about him to know that he does what he pleases. I’m not about to interfere…”

“You can’t leave!” Mika burst into tears, streaming from her dark tinted glasses. Cerys was a bit impressed that she’d managed to keep it together this long.

Mila tried to calm her sister, speaking across the table in their language. Armitage buried his face in his hands, no doubt wanting to leave the table if Mika was going to have another meltdown.

Iz looked half terrified and slightly confused, “What the hell do you need to track him down so badly for?”

“Mika…” Cerys nudged her under the table, “It might help if you explain…”

Mika wiped her eyes, “It is none of his business.”

“Right. But we are asking him to help us track down someone who’s known to be highly dangerous…”

She scoffed, “Highly dangerous… hardly…”

Thankfully Mika couldn’t see the incredulous expression Iz was giving her. Cerys waved a hand at him, mouthing at him to just listen.

“I know he’s not dangerous to you… or me… but he does have a reputation. You can’t blame him for wanting to turn away when that’s all he knows of Ren.”

Mika huffed, “I suppose he does have a nasty reputation.” She waved in Iz’s direction, “Ren is my… lover I guess you would call him.”

Iz didn’t appear any more convinced.

“Mika… you need to tell him.”

Mika scowled at her, “No. This is none of his business. Ren doesn’t even know. I certainly will not tell this boy…”

“Oh… you’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

Mika looked surprised. “How did you know that?”

“I sort of picked up on something… odd earlier. I dismissed it as a weird vibe. You’re pregnant with his child?”

Her mouth twisted and she nodded.

He inhaled deeply, “You’re pregnant… with Kylo Ren’s child. That’s… wow.”

Armitage huffed a laugh, “Oh just wait, you haven’t met him yet.” He winced when Mila kicked his leg.

Mika frowned, “He really is not so bad. I wouldn’t have spent so many years with him if he were.”

Cerys wasn’t expecting the expression on Iz’s face – he appeared to be very seriously concerned with Mika. “I’d have to be an awful person to say no. Of course I’ll help.”

Mika cracked a smile, “Ay! Good! Thank you!”

Cerys clapped her hands, mouthing a thank you to Iz. She was relieved the entire setup didn’t just fall apart. Iz shook his head, “Just… let’s try not to catch him completely off guard, okay? I’d prefer to come out of this with my life.”

He looked at Cerys when he said it, but Mika waved the comment off, “You will be fine. Ren is actually quite nice.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch for new chapters roughly every other day!

Iz was not at all reassured by Mika’s insistence that Kylo Ren was a “nice guy”. Through his years of traveling and studying the Force, he’d heard over and over again the history of not just Kylo Ren, but his entire family. He had absolutely no interest in ever meeting the man. But he stood looking at an emotional, pregnant, lonely blind woman and realized he’d have to be a _complete_ ass to not offer to help her. He wasn’t thrilled with the idea, but leaving her to fend for herself felt wrong.

They left the planet shortly after the meal. M and H took the cockpit. He wasn’t sure what H was doing in there. M piloted the ship and H was evidently present just to tell her what to do, though it was obvious she knew her way around the controls.

Mika disappeared to the back of the ship. C stood next to him, watching M and H in the cockpit and buzzing with energy. She had a contained little grin on her face.

“Excited?” He laughed at her. She was reserved, like her father, but these sort of overwhelming emotions leaked out in the most comical fashion.

“Oh, you have no idea. I haven’t been off planet it awhile.”

“Really? How long?”

“Oh... five years?”

His jaw dropped, “Really?! Five years… what have you been doing that you couldn’t leave? That’s so long to be on that tiny planet!”

She frowned at him and he suddenly wished he could take back what he just said. He seemed to be eating his words a lot lately.

“We have our reasons. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

He shook his head quickly, “No, I didn’t mean… Of course there’s nothing wrong with it. I just can’t imagine… I can’t remember the last time I was in one place longer than a month. Five years…”

“Hm.” She turned and left his side, making her way back to her quarters. He considered going after her to apologize again, but decided it was probably best to leave her alone for a little bit.

The trip was supposed to take a few weeks, though he’d overheard they had plans for one stop to refuel. He’d done a few longer trips like this in small ships, and was incredibly thankful that he got along with the others. He really wasn’t expecting a family, but the fact that they all got along and seemed to love making fun of each other was bound to make the trip much more bearable.

Mika, unfortunately, didn't take to the ship so well. He spent some time attempting to meditate in his quarters, but could hear Mika vomiting in her quarters, which sat directly across from his. Luckily she stopped after about 30 minutes of flight time.

M and H disappeared after they were able to put the ship on autopilot; he didn’t see or hear anything from either of them for hours. He’d initially been very intimidated by H, who didn’t seem to like him much, but after watching him during the meal with M, he decided the man wasn’t quite as intimidating as he originally thought. He was guarded, reserved, but clearly loved M and C dearly.

“Are you meditating?”

He was facing away from the door when C asked the question. He stood from the floor and turned to her, “Well… I was trying to. It’s not really working well at the moment. My mind is wandering too much. There’s a lot going on.”

“Ren taught me to meditate when I was younger.”

“I don’t mean to be offensive or anything, but I’m still a little shocked that you call Kylo Ren your uncle.”

She nodded her head from side to side, “Yes, well… I know what people say about him. I don’t know that they’re entirely wrong, but… I think how you know someone depends largely on the context under which you meet them. Mila is right. He really isn’t a bad guy.” She shrugged, “When he used to visit, he’d carry me around by my feet, dangling my head over the ground. That’s the Ren I know.”

Basic logic told him she had a very wrong impression of the man; he’d heard the legends of Kylo Ren slaughtering the students of Luke Skywalker, of torturing his captives… But the smile on her face was so sincere and dreamy he knew she truly believed what she was saying.

“I get the feeling you have a very interesting life, if you call Kylo Ren your uncle.”

“Not really… At least I don’t think so. It certainly isn't as interesting as yours sounds. You travel a lot?”

“I wouldn’t really call it traveling. I rarely have a destination in mind, and when I do I’ve never intended to stay there long. I really didn’t mean to offend you with my comment earlier; I just really can’t even imagine staying on one planet for years.”

She shrugged it off, “So you’re sort of a nomad? Why? Do you just not like staying in one place?”

“You could say that… I guess I just haven’t had a reason to stay in one place. The galaxy is huge, there’s too many things to see for me to stay put for long.”

“Where have you been?”

“I’ve probably been on 25 or 30 different planets over the past year.”

“How long have you been living like that?”

“I started moving around a lot when I was about 14 or so. Sort of lost track, I guess.”

She looked surprised, “Fourteen? That’s so young!”

“Is it?”

“Well, yes. For someone to be planet hopping around the galaxy… What made you start?”

She appeared to be very genuinely interested, excited to hear what he had to say. He shook his head, “That’s something I’d prefer to not tell. Sorry. You have your secrets… _C_.”

She frowned curiously, but laughed when he called her C. “I’m curious, what do you think my real name is?”

He thought for a moment, “So I’m assuming that the letters you all gave me are the first letters of your first name, yeah?”

She shrugged, looking very serious. “Sorry, can’t disclose that.”

“Okay, okay. Well I’m going to operate under that assumption.” He looked at her closely, like her name might be written on her face. “Chloe?”

“That’s cute. Good guess, but you’re wrong. I don’t think I’d mind if my name were Chloe. Tell you what, I’ll give you one guess a day.”

“That’s a lot of pressure… I don’t get many guesses.”

She laughed and moved into his room, sitting in the chair. “So… where were you prior to meeting with us?”

“Oh, I was in the sector, only one day away from your planet. I was in this place called Merva.”

“I’ve heard of it. They say it has beautiful oceans?”

He nodded, “It does. Not many people, and some of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen. I went for the ruins… there are some amazing buildings left over from some ancient civilization. Beautiful temples carved from stone. I was there for a few days when I got a message from Trip. Luckily I was right in the area, so I decided to take the job.”

She seemed uninterested in the last part of his story. She crossed her feet onto the chair, “Tell me about the ruins.”

Her curiosity was endearing. He smiled. “Okay…”

 

**

 

Two days in, Armitage had fully committed to not liking Iz. He and Cerys formed something of a friendship, which wouldn’t be a problem if it weren’t for the way the boy’s eyes followed her whenever she left the room.

Mila sat with him in the hub of the ship, sipping on whiskey with her feet up on his lap. “You are overreacting, I think. He’s interested in her, but she seems… oblivious to the whole thing. She just thinks of him as a friend. Which is what she _needs_.”

He frowned. “Hm. Right. Well, I still don’t like it.”

“You need to let her have friends. When was the last time she was around someone within 10 years of her age?”

He couldn’t remember.

“You do not give your daughter enough credit. She will make good choices. You just need to trust her.”

“Of course she will. It’s not _her_ I’m worried about.”

“Yes it is.  Don’t lie. You honestly don’t think Iz is malicious, do you? You should give him a chance.”

He frowned, not answering. Iz had just walked into the room. He gave them a nod.

“Why don’t you join us?” Hux motioned him over. The boy looked surprised.

So did Mila, but she smiled. “Yes, yes, we haven’t had a chance to talk much yet.” Beneath the table, she rubbed her toe against his leg. She was happy he called Iz over. “You should tell us about yourself.”

Iz took a seat across from them, “I’m afraid I’m not that interesting.”

Mila looked at him pitifully, “Oh, you should stop with this modesty thing you have going. You are a Force user. I don’t believe any of them lead normal lives at all. How old were you when you realized you could use it?”

Hux dug a third glass out of the small bar area right next to the table. Mila had insisted on the addition to their ship. He thought it was one of the best decisions she’d made with the space.

“I sort of always knew I could use it… I didn’t realize it wasn’t normal until I was around 8 or 9. Really, it was when my parents realized I could use it. They sent me off for training shortly after.”

Hux poured a glass for Iz.

“Oh… Thank you, but I don’t drink. It’s sort of… a Jedi thing.”

Hux looked at him. “A Jedi thing?” He nodded, “I do think I remember reading something about most of them abstaining from alcohol.”

“Really?” Mila sounded perplexed. “No drinking? Why?”

“Mm it’s sort of about the importance of always having control of your mind.”

“True. The Jedi were a very disciplined group. Fascinating to read about. If I recall correctly, they’re also discouraged from forming emotional attachments?”

Iz looked at him curiously, no doubt a little interested why he knew so much about the Jedi. “Yeah, that’s right. It’s very much about focus… and balance.”

Hux nodded, “Right, well, based on how you look at my daughter, you seem to be rather selective about the tenants you choose to abide by.” He slid the glass across the table to him. “You’re not a Jedi, and you can have a drink with us.”

Iz’s mouth hung open.

Mila dug an elbow into his side painfully. “Don’t mind him, he’s drunk.”

“I am not…”

“Yes you are.” She hissed at him, glaring.

Iz, still looking shocked, grabbed the glass and took a quick drink. He cringed, coughing a little. Hux hoped his disappointment showed.

“Look, I don’t have any intentions with her…”

Hux would have been reassured by this if he believed it.

“She is…  um… I’m not…” He shook his head, like he was completely bewildered by this conversation. “She’s not interested.”

Hux took a drink.

 

**

 

Mila refused to say anything to him until their bedroom door slid shut, “You are a _complete_ ass.”

He shrugged, not wanting to have this conversation with her. It was really between he and Iz. It was none of her business.

He went across the room to the large, leather chair she’d insisted on having in the room and pulled his datapad from the nearby table, checking through news stories and any messages he’d received. He used to have so many messages come through each day that he couldn’t keep up with them. Now he barely received so many in a year.

“I can’t understand why you’re being so awful to that poor kid… regardless of what he thinks of Cerys, he seems to realize that she just thinks of him as a friend, and he respects that. How could you ask for any more than that? If anything that makes him a better friend for her…”

Armitage wasn’t sure if she trailed off or if he stopped hearing her because he was distracted and tuned her out. He did have one message, from Sebbie Arim, the only person he knew from his prior life that he was still in contact with. Sebbie had always been his most trusted colleague; he was once a medic for the First Order, a loyal man whom Hux had trusted with his life on multiple occasions. He barely ever heard from him since his escape from the Republic.

The message started with no greeting. They never used names, for security’s sake.

 

> _I heard through an old contact that your father was recently given a terminal diagnosis, only a few months left to live. I’m sure you’ve lost track – he’s in a small village called Darune on the planet Sevelsa, living under a different name. Thought you may want to know._
> 
> _Hope all is going well with you._

He blinked a few times, reading over the message again. He hadn’t thought of Brendol in years.

“Armitage?” Mila looked concerned, “Armitage? What’s wrong?”

He shook his head and turned the device off. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

She frowned at him and took the datapad from his hands, flicking it back on and reading the message. Her frown deepened. “Oh. He’s alive?”

“Evidently not for long.”

Her mouth twisted. She handed the pad back to him. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you?”

“Not really.” She looked at him for a few moments. “He’s on Sevelsa. We’ll be passing very close to that planet in a few days. We could very easily make a stop.”

“Why would we do that?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know… would it give you some sort of closure?”

He snorted. “Closure? No. I don’t need that.”

“I’m not saying you should do it for him…”

“That’s good to know. I hope it’s clear to you I don’t owe him anything.”

“Of course you don’t owe the bastard anything, Armitage. I just thought you may want to… to end everything on a different note.”

“Do you know what note it ended on last time? It was the day after the base had been destroyed. He sent me a very strongly worded message.” He scratched his chin, trying to remember the wording Brendol had used. “Something about how I was a disgrace to the Order and to his family name… If I remember correctly he said I was “his only failed trainee and a most disappointing one at that.” Yes, I think that was it…”

Mila gave him a pathetic look.

Hux shrugged. “He requested I not bother contacting him. I intend on honoring that.” He wanted this conversation to be over. He wasn’t fond of speaking about Brendol. She’d managed to coax him into recounting far too many stories over the years.

She leaned forward and kissed him, taking time to run her tongue over his lips.

“Mm… Mila.”

She kissed him again, crawling onto his lap and twisting her fingers into his hair.

He pulled back from her, “Mila. I don’t want pity sex.”

She squinted at him, “Pity sex? Who said it was pity? I do not have pity sex. Think of it more as… revenge sex.”

He raised an eyebrow.

She leaned into him, pinning him back against the chair with her knee and putting her lips next to his ear, “Your father may think that you are weak and unworthy, but he is going to die alone and you are fucking a Ysookian heiress who, right now, would do just about anything for your cock.”

“That… sounds much better than pity sex.”


	4. Chapter 4

Cerys was enjoying the guessing game she had Iz playing. She was working on a broken piece of equipment in the kitchen when he sat across from her, looking very analytical.

“Cameron.”

She laughed, “No. It’s better guess than yesterday though.”

“You didn’t like Charlotte?”

She rolled her eyes, “Do I really look like I’d have a name like that?”

He shrugged, “Maybe? I’m trying to get into the mind of your father… he doesn’t strike me as the type to go too over the top with a name. It’s got to be something very traditional.”

“You’re fishing for hints…”

“Maybe.”

She grinned at him, “Well, I’ll give you a hint then: My father didn’t name me.”

He frowned. “Well that’s an awful hint. You’ve just made my name pool so much bigger. At least tell me who did name you?”

“My mother.”

“And she didn’t give your father a say?”

“Oh… that’s a story for another time.”

“I feel like in light of this new information I should get another guess for today.”

“Nope. That’s not how this game works.”

They talked for some time, then he disappeared to help Mika with something. She continued working on the equipment and lost track of time, only realizing she’d been working for several hours when exhaustion started to tug at her mind. She cleaned everything up and made her way down the hallway, heading back to her room for some sleep. Mila came down the ladder at the end of the hallway and stopped when she saw her.

“There you are. I’ve been looking for you.” She had a satchel at her side.

“I’ve been distracted with a project, sorry. Do you need something?”

Mila hesitated. “I want you to come with me on a quick outing.”

“Oh?” Cerys already liked the idea. This trip was turning out to be something of an adventure. “Where are we going?”

Mila shook her head. “Just… a sort of errand. Come with me.”

Cerys followed her down the corridor to the pod, a small ship attached to the side of theirs for a few individuals to use on short outings. They hopped in and Mila programmed the coordinates into the console.

“How long is this going to take?”

“Maybe three hours. Not long. Most of it will be travel time.”

Outside the small window of the pod, Cerys could see they were close to a small, snowy looking planet, dotted with dark spots where there were small cities. “That’s where we’re going?”

Mila nodded, “Yes.”

“It looks cold… should I have brought a coat?”

Mila pulled Cerys' green woolen coat from her satchel, “I thought ahead.” She tossed it to the girl, along with her hat. “Have you ever been to a planet where it snows all the time?”

“No, at least not that I remember. I do like snow though.” She smiled, “This should be fun.”

Mila inhaled deeply and reclined in her seat. “Right.”

She was quiet for most of the trip; she seemed distracted by her thoughts. Cerys tried to make small talk with her, but she didn’t even answer half the time. It was very odd behavior for Mila, who was usually quite talkative.

The ship landed right outside a small village and they got out. It was cold, very cold, but it didn’t seem to faze Mila much. Maybe because she was so distracted. They walked into the village. Mila appeared to know where she was going. There were very few people on the streets, which Cerys assumed was normal for such a cold planet.

Mila huffed, her breath gathering around her face, “Cerys… I need you to do me a favor.”

“Hm?"

She stopped and looked at her. They stood in front of a large, brick home. Somebody was inside – the chimney was smoking. Mila looked almost scared.

“I need you to not talk.”

“Are we visiting someone?”

“Yes.”

“Who?” Cerys was suddenly very suspicious of Mila’s behavior. Something was off, she was behaving so strangely.

Mila’s mouth twisted, like she didn’t want to say. “It’s… just… Look, you’ll figure it out pretty quickly. Just please, do me a favor and let me do the talking. At least, let me do the talking until I’m done talking. Then you can say whatever you need to.”

Cerys frowned, “Mila… where are we?”

Mila didn’t answer, she just headed to the front door and knocked. A middle aged woman answered. “Can I help you?”

“Yes, we’re here to see Locke.”

The woman looked at them skeptically. “And… you are?”

“You know I’m actually here as a surprise, can you just tell him he has a guest?”

She raised an eyebrow, “A surprise?”

“Yes… we’re old acquaintances. He’ll recognize me.”

“Right… well. Hold on a moment please.”

The woman didn’t invite them in. They stood out in the cold while she disappeared back into the house.

A few moments later, the woman returned. “I’m sorry, Mr. Locke is feeling a little under the weather at the moment. He’s not taking guests.” She started to shut the door on them but Mila stopped her.

“Wait wait wait, this really is very important. Can we just see him for a few moments?”

“Excuse me? I don’t know who you think you are…”

“He can’t be that sick, can he? Too sick to meet with an old friend?”

“Yes, as I said, he is not taking any guests.”

“Well that just won’t do. We traveled quite some time to see him… Can’t you please…”

“Miss.” The woman spoke in a stern tone. “Please leave, _now_.”

“No, you see we aren’t leaving…”

“What is going on out here Maise? Are these people really too much for you to handle?” A very old man came to the door, shooing the woman away. He was very tall, with broad shoulders and strikingly good posture despite his age.

Mila grinned next to her, a toothy grin that looked downright vicious. “Ah, there he is.”

The old man shook his head, “I don’t know you. You can kindly leave…”

Mila pushed harder against the door, an effort that he halted easily. Cerys was surprised by his strength, despite his age.

“It’s Brendol, correct?”

His expression barely changed, but briefly read surprise. “Who are you?”

She ignored his question. “Why don’t you let us come in?”

“And why would I do that?”

“Because I know exactly who you are and I won’t hesitate to let the entire galaxy know if you don’t give us just 10 minutes of your time.”

His nostrils flared slightly and he stepped back, allowing them in. “Very well. To my study.”

They followed him through the house. It was spacious, filled with fire places and heavy leather chairs and bookshelves. It felt empty to Cerys. She pulled off her hat and played with it, a little nervous. She didn’t like that Mila left her in the dark as to what was going on.

They reached the study and the old man went to a leather chair behind a desk, but didn’t sit. When he turned to them, he looked at Cerys with his eyebrows knitted for a moment. She ran her hand through her hair. She’d never been fond of tying it back like most women seemed to find fashionable. Unfortunately, because it was curly it generally had a mind of its own, particularly after it’d been under a hat for any amount of time.

“Well, shut the door already.  Let’s discuss whatever it is you’ve interrupted me with.”

Mila pushed the door shut with an air of carelessness. “You know, I wasn’t sure what to expect… It’s funny, I’ve been going over and over what I’d say in this situation for years. The past few days I’ve been doing nothing but coming up with scripts in my head.” She shook her head, walking forward to the opposite side of the desk, “Now that I’m here, I’ve completely forgotten everything I came up with.”

“Convenient. Does that mean you won’t be wasting more of my time?”

She knocked on the desk, “Trust me, Brendol, I am not wasting anyone’s time right now.”

“Well, do get on with it then.”

She inhaled deeply, “My name is Mila Volkov, and I have loved your son more than anything in my life.”

Cerys couldn’t stop an “OH” from escaping her mouth. She covered her mouth.

The man gave a sharp inhale, looking irritated more than anything. “Volkov you said? You must be one of the Ysookian rulers that disappeared years ago. I’m not all that surprised Armitage ended up with a woman from Ysook … he was always a bit weak willed, and your people have quite the reputation.”

Mila let out a “Ha.” Cerys was fairly certain he’d just insulted her, but didn’t quite understand what the insult was.

“I suppose it was a good move on his behalf to at least attach himself to someone with royal lineage.”

Mila shook her head, “You are just as charming as I’d imagined.” She jerked her thumb at Cerys, “This is your granddaughter.”

The old man looked at her. For a very brief moment, she swore she saw surprise on his face. “I assume she isn’t yours? She looks far too old. Then again… maybe that wouldn’t have been a problem for you? I know your culture is fairly open to those sort of things…”

“She’s not.” Mila cut him off flatly.

For a second, she thought he might come around the desk to her. He turned like meant to, then stopped. “What’s your name?”

She hesitated for a moment, remembering Mila had asked her not to speak. She was still quite taken aback by this whole encounter. Armitage had never spoken of his father before. She didn’t even know the man was alive. “Cerys. It’s Cerys.”

He barely nodded, looking away from her. “I assume you being here means Armitage is alive?”

Cerys went to Mila’s side, wanting to get a closer look at her grandfather. The old man took a slight step back as she approached.

“Do you actually care?” Mila was fuming. She tended to have a short temper, but this was something different. She was simmering, looking something between furious and disgusted.

The old man didn’t respond.

Mila inhaled deeply again, “You know, prior to this very moment, this girl had no idea you even existed. He’s never even spoken of you.”

He looked down his nose at her.

“I’ve managed to pry out bits and pieces from him over the years. Enough that I have a decent picture of the sort of man you are.” She paused for a moment, “Armitage doesn’t know we’re here.”

Cerys looked at her. She didn’t know that. She’d just assumed…

Mila continued on casually, “I think he hoped you’d die alone, never having known your lineage isn’t actually dying out.” She stopped again, inhaling. Cerys got the impression she kept breathing deeply to try to control her anger. “I decided it was better for her to know about you.”

Cerys was completely floored by Mila’s admission. She wasn’t sure what made Mila think any of this would be okay. Not that she was ungrateful – she was fascinated by the old man and wanted to know more. But if Armitage had deliberately told her he didn’t want to come visit, his request should have been honored.

Mila leaned forward, her fists on the desk. “This girl would make you -- yes even you -- proud to be related to her. She’s clever, loyal, wise years beyond her age, and tough as fucking nails. She does not have your last name, and she never will. She does not support the Empire or the First Order, and she never will. In fact, she spent most of her early childhood being raised by the Republic.”

The old man’s face twitched.

“She will not remember you. You will die here, by yourself in the next few months, and you will be forgotten. And your legacy will be left in the hands of a young woman who couldn't give a fuck less about you or any of the things you spent your life trying to build.” Mila’s voice was shaking; Cerys could’t quite tell if she was near tears or if she was that angry. Maybe a little of both. She ran her hand over her mouth, thinking for a moment. “You… You disgusting excuse for a parent… you had an amazing, brilliant son and you saw him as nothing more than a fucking test subject and a punching bag that you had some godlike level of control over. As far as I am concerned, when he gave the order to fire that weapon it was _your_ doing. That blood… that is on your hands. The things you put him through… you are a fucking monster.” She paused, shaking her head. “Over the past years, I have grown to love your son more than anything. It… it is completely crushing to me to think that I might be the first person to have loved him.”

She stepped back from the desk, wiping her face quickly and cursing. She glared at the old man, “You want to talk about failure? Everything you have dedicated your life to – the Empire, the Order – has been destroyed. Your only heir was raised by the people you despise, and holds no ill will against them whatsoever. You will have no legacy, and you will die here, alone, and you will be forgotten.”

She snatched her satchel from the chair and stormed off toward the door.

“Mila…”

“You do what you want. I am done here.” She left, slamming the door shut behind her.

Cerys turned back to the man. His expression didn’t appear to have changed. She peered closely at him, and he took another step back.

“I have never seen her rail into someone like that before… something tells me she may have been justified in her behavior.”

The old man looked at her, down his nose.

“I can think of so many questions I’d really love to ask you…” She thought for a moment, considering her options. “The thing is I think my father could answer most of them. If that is the case, then I owe it to him to get answers from him. But I am curious… why do you think my father didn’t want to come see you?”

“Armitage has always been a bit… sensitive.”

She tilted her head, “Is that what you think? I’ve certainly never thought of him that way.” She looked at the old man. She wasn’t sure what she would have expected of Armitage’s father. She’d never really thought of it. He had the same impeccable posture, the same eyes. He was much more guarded than Armitage, though she supposed Armitage behaved differently around her than other people. And he seemed much less… polite. Not that Armitage was polite by any stretch of the imagination.

“You didn’t answer Mila’s question earlier… Do you care that he’s alive?”

He didn’t answer for a few moments. The silence concerned her, very deeply. He cleared his throat, “I suppose at this point I’m more or less indifferent to the matter.”

She took a moment to process his answer. “I thought “No.” would have been the worst answer you could give. I guess I was wrong.” She looked at the door, “Mila and I need to head back soon. I think… I think I’m done here. It was… interesting to meet you.” She turned and went to the door.

“Who is your mother?”

She stopped and looked back at the old man. The question surprised her. She shook her head, “You don’t care who my father is, why would I tell you who my mother is?”

 

**

 

She made her way back to the shuttle. Mila was inside, picking at her nails with her feet up on the console. She took her feet down, “That was shorter than I expected.”

“Hm.” Cerys didn’t really want to talk about it.

Mila entered the coordinates and the shuttle lifted off, taking them back to the main ship. It was some time before either of them spoke.

“You shouldn’t have taken me there.”

“It was better to end it this way.”

“It’s not what my father wanted.”

She sighed and repeated herself, “It was better this way.”

Cerys didn’t reply.

The return trip was quiet and painstakingly long. The ship floated into view.

“Your father will not be happy. I will let him know I did not tell you where we were going.” Mila’s voice was strangely empty.

The pod docked and the door slid open. They both stepped out.

Mika was leaning against the wall near the exit, her arms crossed over her chest. Iz stood near her, looking nervous.

Her father stood directly in front of them, his legs parted in a powerful stance, his arms crossed behind his back. She almost stepped back when she saw him – he looked nothing short of terrifying. She’d seen him angry before, but this was something different. He looked absolutely livid. He didn’t look at  her – he was entirely focused on Mila.

Mila touched her arm. “Leave, please.”

She nodded and stepped forward, pausing next to him. She opened her mouth, “We…”

His eyebrows rose and his icy glare shifted to her, “Get. Out. All of you. Out.”

Iz looked at her, hesitant that he should leave Mila alone with Armitage. Cerys nodded at him. The three of them left quickly, shutting the door behind them.

“My sister fucked up, didn’t she?” Mika asked the second the door sealed.

Cerys inhaled deeply, “Yes… Yes I think she did.”

Mika nodded, “Leave them to work it out. This is none of our business.” She left them for the upper level of the ship.

“Where were you?” Iz asked.

She shook her head, “I… I don’t know. The whole thing was so bazaar…”

Suddenly, her father could be heard shouting from within the room. Her jaw dropped – she’d never heard him yell before. She couldn’t quite make out the words, but she was sort of happy she couldn't. Iz looked equally surprised, staring at the door. “What did she do? Are you okay?”

“I… yes, yes I’m okay. Mila just… she did something she should not have done. Something my father did not want her to do.”

The shouting only grew louder, more vicious.

“What could she have possibly done that was so awful?”

“I don’t think I can tell you.”

Iz nodded at her. “He’s been pacing that room since you two left. I was afraid you were in danger at first, but the way he looked…”

She shook her head, “I’ve never seen him like that before.” She motioned to the door, “Or heard this before. It’s… wow.”

“She… she’s okay in there, right?”

“Oh… of course. Of course. He’d never hurt her. I think she’s… She’s maybe hurt him worse than he’d ever hurt her.”

Iz watched her face closely; she thought it was a bit endearing how concerned he was with her well-being.

The yelling settled and the door slid open. Armitage stepped out, pausing when he saw the two of them right outside the door. Cerys shook her head, “I…”

He threw up a hand to stop her, “Not now.” He turned and marched away, looking just as angry as he was when they’d first stepped off the ship.

Iz watched after him, “He… can be genuinely frightening.”

She looked into the dark room, “I need to check on Mila. Do you mind… We just need some privacy.”

He nodded, “Yeah, just… I’ll be in my quarters, if you need anything.”

She found Mila leaning against the wall, her temples pinched between her fingers, her hand covering her face.

“Mila…”

Mila sniffed and wiped at her face quickly. “Hm?” She was trying to hide the fact that she’d been crying, but wasn’t doing a very good job.

“You’re okay?”

“Yes. Yes I am fine.”

“Is he?”

Mila was quiet for a moment. She shook her head and looked away from Cerys. “It is the worst thing to hurt someone you love.”

Cerys frowned. “Then why did you?”

Mila blinked rapidly, turning away from her with a pathetic laugh, “Your father wants to know the same thing.”

 

**

 

Iz was barely in his room ten minutes when she came to see him. The energy of the entire ship had changed so quickly it was baffling. When he first joined them, it was warm, welcoming in a sort of familial way, even with her father’s clear disinterest in him. Everything had turned cold so quickly.

She entered without asking and closed the door behind her, looking drained. She sat in the chair, “Will you… tell me about your family? I know we aren’t supposed to speak of these things, but… please? I will tell you about mine. I can’t tell you much, but I will tell you what I can.”

He sat on the floor, looking at her. “Yeah… I mean… Yeah, I guess I can. You’re okay, right?”

“Please stop asking. Yes.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Just… your parents. Tell me about your parents. Who are they? What do they do? What are your grandparents like? Do you have siblings?”

He rocked a little. “Mm... Okay. My father, Samaru, was from an old family… some sort of nobility, I think. He sort of… rejected it all and became a writer. Wasn’t really fond of his family. He left home and broke contact with them when he was about my age, and started traveling and writing, mostly for political publications and whatnot. He met my mother, Kimana, while he was visiting her home world, a little planet called Nohma. She was a healer, had a little business running for her village. Healer is the wrong word, really. She always acted like there was something mystical to what she was doing, but she was a medic.” He smiled, “She kept very busy; she was the only medic in the area. My father watched me and my siblings for the most part.”

“How many siblings?”

“Four.”

“Four?! Wow… that’s… wow. Four. I can’t imagine.”

He laughed, “I guess it is different than your family. Kismet, the oldest, helped my dad out with us quite a bit. Abeytzi worked with my mother a lot. Took to medical things very quickly. Ozumawnakw – I suppose I haven’t mentioned this before, but he’s my twin brother.”

“Oh really? Have you told Mika and her sister? They’d love to know that. Who’s older?”

“Me, according to my mother.”

“Is he like you?”

“Looks wise, nearly identical, like Mika and M. But personalities…” He smiled, thinking of his brother. “He was really a bit of a brat when he was a kid.”

She laughed, “And you weren’t?”

“Of course not, I was the picture of perfection.” He grinned back at her. “I honestly have no idea how my father dealt with us. I don’t think he could have done it without Kismet helping out. Oh, and there was Pipista, the youngest. She was a complete monster. Five years younger than Oz and I… Sixteen years between she and Kismet.”

“That’s amazing! I can’t even imagine having that many siblings! And they all have such… interesting names.”

“A few years after Pip was born my father received news that both his parents had passed. He was their only child, and due to inherit their fortune. He turned it down.”

“Really? He sounds very principled.”

“Yes, at least until my mother talked him out of it. She was the smart one… She convinced him to take the money and use it to launch a political career. He and Kismet were pretty involved, politically. My father was fairly well known for some of his writing, and Kismet was actually a good speaker. They started on the planet we were raised on, and grew their careers from there. When they figured out I was Force sensitive, they decided it was best for me to go somewhere I could get some training… I was very sad to leave them, but it was a good decision at the time. I needed someone to help me learn how to control my abilities.”

“They must have been so thrilled to find out you were Force sensitive.”

“They were actually very good about not making a huge deal of it… I mean they had four other children who weren’t. They didn’t want to look like they were picking favorites.”

She was leaning forward on her knees, smiling at him and looking almost obnoxiously pretty. He looked away, sighing. Of course she looked like that right as he reached the part of the story he hated telling. “My father and brother's political careers took off and they relocated to Hosnian Prime while I was in training.” He scratched his nose. “They were all killed by the First Order in the Hosnian Cataclysm.”

Her face dropped and her hand flew over her mouth. “Oh no. No.”

He laughed, feeling a little morbid. Obviously it wasn’t a thing to laugh at. Maybe it was her reaction. Her eyes were huge, she looked like she was about to cry. “Don’t. Don’t worry, I’ve dealt with it. Please don’t be sad… I mean it was awful at the time. I was thirteen, very young, I had a lot of… guilt issues? I ended up leaving my training shortly after and just started traveling. I couldn’t focus well enough to keep training; it made the whole thing kind of pointless. So I traveled, and kept studying, but on my own. I just sort of made my own training as I went, based off what I could find in old texts. And I visited a lot of relics and temples… It really turned out for the better, as far as my training goes. At least I think it did. I don’t think I’m as powerful as I could be, but I am more… well rounded, if that makes sense? I got to see so many different facets of the Force I wouldn’t have ever known about otherwise.”

She shook her head. “I… I’m so sorry.”

He waved a hand at her, “No, no. Don’t be. Really, I’ve come to terms with it. Don’t apologize. It’s not like you blew up the planet.”

She looked devastated. “Ha. Yeah. I…” She shook her head again, “I’m so sorry to hear that, still.”

She was acting very odd. He didn’t like it. “Well, that’s enough about that. It’s your turn, yeah?”

Her mouth hung open for a moment. “Ah… yeah. I…” She inhaled deeply, “Um… I'm sorry... I....”

He really should have skipped the last part of the story. It'd clearly disturbed her deeply. "Don't... Don't worry about it. You must be tired from wherever you and Mila went. Why don't you go grab some sleep? I'll take a rain check on your story."

"Er... yes. Yes, I think that's a good idea. Thank you." She stood to leave, looking at him with that apologetic look he always got from people when they found out his family had been killed by the First Order. "You're a very good friend, Iz."

"I'm glad you think so." He was more than a little delighted that she at least thought of him as a friend.

“Good night.”

“Good night… Claire?”

She laughed, and he was very happy to hear it, “No, no. You do not get two guesses in one day. I’m not even going to tell you if that was right.”

“It wasn’t, was it?”

She smirked at him for a moment, and he really thought she wouldn’t answer. “No. It wasn’t.”


	5. Chapter 5

Hux didn’t see Mila for two days after the incident, which was something of a feat considering they were stuck on a small ship together. He put forth a noble effort to avoid her, and was fairly certain she did the same for him. After their last encounter, where he’d found himself screaming at her, demanding to know what the _fuck_ she was thinking, he didn’t blame her at all for avoiding him. He was actually happy she chose to keep out of sight. The thought of having to look at her gave him a headache.

He didn’t sleep much; he had no interest in going to their shared room, so he found himself taking short naps in the hub of the ship when everyone else was quiet.

On the third day, their streak of avoidance finally broke. He went to get a drink, which had been about his only source of peace since she made the decision to override his wishes.

She was reading something on her datapad when he entered. He could feel the headache starting to creep into his skull, and decided to ignore her. She watched him, her expression somewhat… hurt? His headache worsened. Was he supposed to feel guilty about the way he behaved toward her? They’d argued before, but nothing like the way he’d laid into her when she’d returned from her sociopathic little jaunt with his daughter.

He rubbed his forehead, facing away from her, and poured himself a drink. He would've started drinking earlier had he known he’d have to face this. When he turned back, she still had that same expression.

“I’m _not_ sorry.” It was completely true. He was having a harder time grappling with the fact that he didn’t regret the way he behaved toward her than anything else.

She looked surprised momentarily, then stood and walked to him, her arms crossed. “Neither am I.”

He frowned at the comment. “You… _what_?” The headache was back in full force. “You seem to be forgetting something: She is _my_ daughter, not yours. I cannot fathom what got into your head and made you think you had any right to take her… Are you a complete lunatic? He was never supposed to know about her. And she… Fuck Mila, that’s the worst part of what you fucking did. The way she looks at me now… she won’t ask but she wants to, it shows on her face. She has questions; she wants to know about that bastard…” The fact that he couldn’t seem to put together a complete sentence was only making him more frustrated.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Iz frozen in the doorway, a look of shock on his face. Mila had noticed him as well.

“Get out.” The two barked at him simultaneously.

“Sorry!” He stepped back out the door quickly and hit the button to close the door.

“Did you ever think, Armitage, that maybe she deserves to know? That she might benefit from understanding what her father came from?”

“What the fuck am I supposed to tell her? How the fuck do I explain everything he did? I can’t even explain it to you, how am I supposed to explain it to her?”

Mila threw her hands up, “I don’t know! Figure it out! She deserves to understand.”

“Well thank you, fucking thank you, for making the decision for all of us. That’s really what we all needed you to do.”

“If I hadn’t done this you would have taken it all to your grave and that poor girl would spend the rest of her life wondering how her father is the same man that the majority of the galaxy wants to see killed for mass genocide…”

“What the hell does that have to do with anything?! What? Do you think my father is responsible for me giving that order? Fucking preposterous. He’d probably love to think he had some part in it, though.”

“All I’m saying is that you might want to try opening up to your daughter before it’s too late… And for the record, your father was more of an ass than even I expected and she most certainly did not get a good impression of him, so you at least have that working in your favor…”

“He was never… _never_ supposed to see her.” His voice had risen to a snarl. He must have looked as livid as he felt, because Mila looked frightened for a moment. “He does not deserve to know that she exists. It was not your decision to make, but you fucking made it anyway. You decided for all of us on something you had absolutely no right to decide on.”

The quick flash of fear on her face faded to anger. She pursed her lips quietly, glaring at him fiercely. “I do not regret what I did. That bastard needed to understand what he had ruined, everything he had given up in the name of furthering a worthless cause. He needed to hear what I had to say.” She broke eye contact briefly, “And I needed to say what I said to him.” She rose up on her toes and leaned in toward him, “Let me tell you something, Armitage: It was fucking satisfying as hell to put that bastard in his place.”

Hux could feel his hands shaking with anger when she turned away from him to leave. He grabbed her and pulled her back, holding her face so she was forced to look at him, “These things are _mine_ to deal with and you have no business getting involved.”

She tried to pull away, looking furious, but he forced her to stay. When she realized he wouldn’t allow her away, she changed her approach and leaned in toward him, speaking in a smooth, teasing tone. “Do you want to know what his reaction was when I told him I’m your lover?”

The best -- and worst -- thing about Mila was that she knew exactly how to get him going.

Still shaking with anger, he pushed her around, over the counter, keeping a hold of her face with one hand and pushing the other up her skirt, digging his fingers into her hip and pulling her back against his frustrating erection. “I don’t fucking want to know… I don’t want any of this to have happened…”

She grunted a little and jerked in surprise, “Hux…”

“Just… fucking shut up.” He pushed her underwear to the side – she was already wet. He pressed against her harder. “You’ve said more than enough.”

“He didn’t seem very fond of the idea of me.”

He was fumbling with the front of his trousers, his cock achingly hard. “Fuck. You’re aging me on…”

“He essentially called me a whore…”

He managed to get his cock out of his pants and pushed into her, wrapping his hand around her mouth, “Shut. The fuck. Up. Already.”

He felt her shiver against him as he pushed into her, her moans are muffled against his hand, his fingers digging into her hip. “I don’t know what went through your fucking head… You fucking selfish…”

Her gasps were hot against his hand. He felt her start to tighten around him and he pulled her ear close to his mouth, “Don’t come… Don’t fucking come this isn’t for you…” She let out a pleading little noise. Her fingers wrapped around his wrist and she tried to pull his hand away from her mouth, but her body seized up just as she did, pulsing around his cock, making him come hard enough that he had to brace himself over her, against the table. His hand slipped from her mouth and he could hear her gasping.

He pried his fingers from her hip and cursed, pulling out of her. She was completely wrecked, bent over the table trying to catch her breath. He zipped up, glaring at her, as she pushed herself upright in a somewhat dazed manner, pulling her skirt down.

“That wasn’t for you.” He left, closing the door behind him.

 

He headed for their room to take a quick shower. He was feeling a little light headed and exhausted and hoped a shower would help wake him up.

As he reached their quarters, he passed Cerys’ room. She was working on a project on her datapad, typing furiously. He paused for a moment, wondering if it was entirely inappropriate for him to even speak to her before he took a shower.

She noticed him before he was able to turn away. “Hey… are you okay? You look really tired.”

He ignored the comment and stepped into her room, leaning against the wall. Not for effect, but more because he was entirely exhausted and didn’t know how much longer he could keep standing. “What did she say to him?”

Cerys looked at him quietly for a moment. If he weren’t so tired, he would have tried to read her expressions.

“I hate seeing you two fight like this. You haven’t spoken in days. And you haven’t been sleeping. It shows.”

He waved a hand, “Just…”

“She shouldn’t have done it. We both know that. But you can’t be this mad at her for this long. Especially not on such a small ship.”

“I know. Just… What did she say?”

Cerys inhaled deeply, her mouth twisting, “You know how she has this tendency of putting people in their spot… and she has a short temper…” She shook her head, “I’ve seen her chew people out before, but this was different. I don’t even think angry is the right word. This was more like… like anguish maybe?” She paused looking at him like she expected a response. She poured out the next sentence almost breathlessly, like the statement might expire if she didn’t get it out quickly enough. “Armitage… she really, really loves you. I don’t know anything of your relationship with your father but… she _really, really_ hates him.”

He rubbed his face, wishing she’d just answer his question. Of course Mila cared for him. Of course she hated Brendol. He’d understood all that for some time now. Though something about it did seem different coming from his daughter. “I know… just… tell me what she said. Please.”

“She told him that she loved you. He made some snide comment…” She looked at him apologetically, “Oh, Armitage, he’s really not a nice man. You should have heard the things he said…”

“I don’t care what he said. Tell me what she said.”

Cerys paused at the comment, looking at him like she was surprised by it. “She said she loved you, and that he was a monster. And she blamed him for… for what you did.” She looked a little nervous as she said it. Armitage frowned. He hated that Mila thought his father somehow had any influence on his decision. Cerys continued quickly, “But she said this one thing that I think was a bit glorious, actually. You’ve never told me about him, other than he was an officer for the Empire, but it was very clear that he was not a nice man, and that he was not good to you. She told him that he was a complete failure. That everything he had worked to build had been destroyed, and that in fighting for those things he had pushed away the only good thing he’d ever produced – you. She told him that he would die alone, and that his legacy would be forgotten because neither you nor I care to carry it on.”

Armitage rubbed his face again. He wasn’t sure what to make of all this yet. He was almost too tired to think about it.

“Oh—and there was one more thing. She let him know that I don’t use your – his – last name.”

He almost smiled at the thought. It wasn’t something he’d considered before, but that… that most certainly would have bothered Brendol.

Cerys wrinkled her nose, “He didn’t seem very happy about that.”

Armitage nodded, “I’m certain he wasn’t. That might have been the best thing she could have mentioned.”

Cerys gave him a concerned look, “You look so tired. I know you haven’t been sleeping. You should try to get a little bit of sleep… You can use my bed if you really don’t want to sleep in yours. But…” She shook her head, “You have to forgive her at some point, Armitage. She may have done something she shouldn’t have, but she did it out of love for you. I’ve never seen her like that before. She was nearly in tears when she spoke with him.”

Armitage sighed and forced himself off the wall, “I’ll be fine, I can sleep in my own bed. Thank you for telling me.” He paused, realizing this whole conversation was probably entirely unfair to her. “I know you must have… questions.”

“Well, yes. Quite a lot of them actually. But if you’re offering to answer them, I’d prefer you go get some sleep beforehand.”

He nodded, “I will… just…” A yawn overtook his words, “Just remind me when I wake up.”

He made his way to his quarters and collapsed onto their bed, falling asleep before he was even able to get under the covers.

 

When he woke, it took him a moment to realize he wasn’t alone. She’d fallen asleep on the far side of the bed, so close to the edge he was surprised she hadn’t rolled off. She must have come back to the room and showered – She was wearing a loosely fitted nightdress and her hair was slightly damp.

He drug himself upright. She jerked next to him and ran her hand through her hair quickly, rolling over so she was facing him. They looked at each other in silence for a few moments.

“What? Did you expect me to not sleep in my own bed because you got here first?”

“No… I was just…”

She sat upright, “I was going to take your shoes off for you…”

He looked down at his feet, wondering why he hadn’t taken his shoes off yet. “Cerys told me what you said to him.”

“Oh? You spoke with her about it?”

“Only for a few minutes. She has questions… a lot of questions…”

“Do you plan on answering any of them?”

He sighed, “She tells me I should forgive you.”

“Oh?”

“I’m not quite there yet.”

“I could tell that.” She slid across the bed and onto his legs, straddling them between her knees. She brushed his hair with her fingers, “You must have needed to sleep very badly. Your hair is a complete mess…”

He was feeling uneasy; half of him was still incredibly angry with her and the other half really just wanted her to keep stroking his hair until he fell asleep again.

“What did she tell you?”

“She described your rant as “glorious”.”

A smile flashed across her face, “Really? I hope it was…”

He pulled her hand from his hair and placed it against his lips, sighing against it. “Mila…”

“Hm?”

“I hate being upset with you. But I hate what you did even more.”

She nodded, “You are entitled to that.”

“What did you say to him?”

“Hm? Didn’t Cerys tell you?”

“She did. I want to hear it from you.”

She looked at him quietly, stroking the hair over his temple. “I told him that he was the failure. That he had sacrificed anything that could have been good in his life for a political cause that is dead. That he has wasted his life and that he would die alone and be forgotten. And…” She paused and looked away from him, blinking quickly. “I told him that I hate thinking that I may have been the first person to have loved you.”

It certainly wasn’t the first time she said she loved him. He’d heard it a few times over the years. It still felt a little foreign to his ears. He shook his head, “I wish… I wish it were easier for me to forgive you.”

“You do not need to. Like I said, you are entitled to that.” She paused. “I am happy you are talking to me again though. And sleeping in our bed.”

He ran his fingers along the side of her thigh. “Just don’t… don’t _ever_ pull a stunt like that again.”

Mila nodded, “You are somewhat… frightening when you get that angry. You should be more careful though.”

He looked down to his hand, which was on her hip, with her skirt pushed up. Her hip was bruised. “Oh… god, Mila I’m so sorry…” He took his hand off quickly, “I didn’t mean to…”

“Hm?” She looked down at the bruise, like she’d only just realized it was there. “Oh. That. No that wasn’t what I was talking about.”

He had a pit in his stomach looking at the bruise. “I’m not… I didn’t mean to hurt you… I’m so sorry…”

She looked at him with a funny smile. She leaned in and kissed him. “What I mean to say is that you need to be careful because if you fuck me like that every time I piss you off, I’m going to start pissing you off more often.”


	6. Chapter 6

Cerys kept running her opening line through her head, trying to find the perfect way to approach the situation:

_So… that thing you said we could talk about…_

Too casual. Armitage would not respond well to that.

_Armitage, we need to discuss the matter brought up a few days ago…_

He might respond to that, but not the way she wanted. He’d respond in an equally official tone. It felt wrong to treat this conversation officially. She’d really rather speak with… well, her father. Not some military official.

Maybe she could try calling him that… father. She’d never actually called him that before -- not to his face. Even after all these years living with him… even with how much she cared for him… it still felt like a foreign word. The thought of using it scared her. And if it scared her, it would scare Armitage. He’d completely shut down. She couldn’t do it.

He was looking at her with a crease between his eyebrows. “You want something?”

She realized she’d been standing in the hub alone with him, not saying anything because she was too busy trying to figure out what to say. Armitage was able to read her facial expressions remarkably well though.

She nodded, “Yes. Yes, I’m sorry. It’s just… well…” She still couldn’t figure out the best way to ask. Nothing was even remotely optimal.

Armitage watched her very closely, looking concerned.

“Er… Have you caught up on sleep?” It was an awful segue. He was so tired last time they spoke, he probably didn’t even remember…

“Oh. Yes. I see… I forgot…” He ran a hand through his hair, “Yes, yes. Now is as good a time as ever, I suppose.”

The tension in her core released. “Great… so…”

“Let’s sit.” He said quickly, going to a table.

She started after him.

“Hey, good morning, how are you two doing?” Iz walked into the hub with a mug of tea. He drank a ridiculous amount of tea, for some reason.

Cerys glanced to Armitage; he was rubbing his face, looking slightly unwell.

“Iz?”

“Hm?” He looked at her cluelessly through the steam coming off the mug.

“Would you mind… giving us some privacy for a few?”

His eyebrows rose and he looked to Armitage and back to her, “Oh. Yeah. Sorry.” He stepped out quickly and she sealed the door.

“Does he just have the worst possible timing?”

She smiled, “I think he’s cursed by it a bit. It’s a little endearing though. He means well.”

He looked at her for a moment, “Right. Endearing. What is it you want to know?”

She slid into the seat across from him, inhaling deeply, “I don’t even know where to start.” She paused. “You and Mila seem to be on slightly better terms now?”

“Something like that. I’d rather not discuss that matter. At least… not at the moment.”

“I understand. So… Your father. Brendol Hux? Is that correct?”

He nodded shortly, looking overly nervous at the idea of this conversation. She couldn’t imagine she looked much different.

“You’d mentioned he was an Imperial.”

“Yes.”

“Has he always been as… _charming_ as he was?”

Armitage looked confused for a moment. He pulled a cigarette and lighter from his pocket. “Do you mind if I…”

“No, no, you’re fine.”

“Just don’t tell Mila. She hates it when I do this around you.” He lit it and took a drag, appearing marginally more relaxed. “So, to answer your question, Brendol has always been… effective with people. Very much an influencer. So… yes, I suppose some people find him… _charming_.”

She tilted her head, “Ah… no. I was being sarcastic.”

He inhaled sharply, “Ah, okay, that makes much more sense. I mean, Brendol did have a knack for drawing people in, but he’s not very fond of… well me.”

“I could tell.”

He nodded, entirely unsurprised by this.

“Did Mila tell you she left me alone with him?”

His expression quickly melted to a severe looking frown. “No. She didn’t mention that.”

She waved a hand quickly, hoping to dissipate the anger before it returned in full force. “No, no. Don’t be upset. It was a good thing. It didn’t last long. I think maybe… maybe she felt like she owed me the opportunity to speak with him privately? I mean she hadn’t really given me any say in whether or not I got to meet him. It really was the least she could do.”

He reached across the table and grabbed the ash tray, tapping off the ashes of his cigarette. His mouth was tight. “Hm.”

“Just… Before you get upset, listen to what happened, okay? Because it… it made the whole awful thing worth it I think.”

He looked at her.

“When Mila told him who we were, he asked if you were alive.”

Armitage huffed something like a laugh.

“Mila asked him if he actually cared. He never answered her. So I asked him again, after she left.”

“Hm. And?”

She frowned. “I expected him to say no. I really did. But… he found something even worse to say. He said he was _indifferent_.”

“Ha. It sounds like he’s getting more creative in his old age. I would have expected him to say no as well.”

Cerys’ mouth hung open for a moment. He was so incredibly casual about it… almost like he didn’t really realize how awful his father was behaving toward him. “It was the only question I asked him. It was all I really needed to hear.”

He watched her closely again, nodding. “That’s all you spoke of privately?”

“Yes. Well, no. Not really. There was one more thing. I was about to leave after he said that and he asked who my mother was.”

“Oh? Did you tell him?”

“Of course I didn’t!” She snapped at him before she could stop herself, shaking her head viciously, “No… Of course not.”

“Smart girl.”

She scowled. “I stood there and listened to that awful old man ridicule my father, I certainly didn’t need to hear his opinion of my mother as well.”

He was quiet for a little too long, looking at her closely.

She’d used it. The word. And he hadn’t run away yet.

He sniffed. “He knew your mother. Somewhat, at least. He knew her husband fairly well; they would have worked closely while the Order was being built. He had met your mother before. Actually…” He thought for a moment, “I do recall him commenting once that he thought she was exceptionally lovely and that she and her husband should…” He waved his cigarette, “Contribute to the effort, so to speak.”

“Have children?”

“Yes.”

“I suppose that’s ironic.”

“The entire thing is really ironic.”

She shrugged. “Well I didn’t need a lecture on his opinion of infidelity then…”

Armitage snorted. “That would not have been the issue.”

She frowned at him, “Oh… was he… disloyal to your mother?”

He was scowling at the ashtray as he tapped off more ashes. She got the feeling he didn’t really want to answer. “No. Brendol’s wife never bore him children.”

“Oh.” She couldn’t think of anything else to say.

He inhaled like he was trying to be casual about the entire thing, but she could tell it was more to calm himself than anything. “My mother was a cook. At least, that’s what I’ve heard though others. Brendol never really spoke of the matter.” He paused, and then added quickly, “I do think he was embarrassed of the whole thing.”

She watched him closely as he glanced up at her quickly, nervously, then back to the ashtray. “Why have you never told me any of this?”

“Hm? What is there to say? That I’m the product of an adulterous affair between a sadistic selectionist and a common house cook?” He shrugged.

“It… seems like something you may have wanted to mention to me.” Of course she shouldn’t have expected him to think any differently, but she wished he would.

“None of it is really… relevant to you.”

The sentiment cut a little. “ _How_ could it not be relevant to me? You’re talking about what you came from… and by in part what I came from.”

He shook his head apologetically, “That’s not what I meant. I mean to say… none of it effects who you are.”

“Well of course not but it does help me understand who you are.”

He looked at her for a moment, then at the ashtray. His cigarette was almost finished. “Can we… move forward? I think we’ve wrung this subject dry.”

“No.” She made an effort to give her best defiant look when he glanced back to her. “No, we can’t. I have more questions about this particular subject.”

He leaned back, rubbing his face, “Okay. Okay. What?”

“Did you ever know her? Your mother?”

“No.”

“And… I imagine his wife wasn’t particularly fond of you?”

He scratched his beard. “She avoided me for the most part. She really was never around. I certainly can’t blame the woman for that. I wasn’t her child. When she was around… well I never remember her speaking to me. I do remember getting some nasty looks… I can’t say I remember her very clearly though, we left her to flee the collapsing Empire when I was very young.”

This new information tore at her insides. A million questions bubbled up in her mind. “Who raised you? I certainly can’t picture that awful man taking care of a child.”

“He had droids for that sort of thing.”

“That sort… of thing? Raising you? That _sort of thing_?”

“Well… yes.”

“ _Why have you never told me any of this?_ ”

He ashed his cigarette and pulled out a new one to replace it just as quickly. “I believe nanny bots were invented for the sole purpose of raising children. I imagine it’s not that highly unusual…”

“Not unusual???” Suddenly so much of his personality started making sense to her. “When was the first time you were hugged?”

“Hu… What?”

“By a human. When was your first hug?”

He laughed. “What does that have to do with anything?”

She covered her mouth with her hands. “Oh… Oh god, that’ so awful…”

He stood. “Okay, I think we’d best finish this…”

“No!” She jumped up and stepped in front of him quickly, pushing him back into his seat. “No. I have wondered these things for years and never asked, and never could have imagined the answers you’re giving me. No. You’re not getting out of this. You’re going to sit here and answer my questions.”

He looked like he was in pain. “I… Okay. Okay. Just… calm down. No more questions about hugging.”

 

**

 

The ship landed for refueling on a small planet. Iz was more than ready to stretch his legs on land again. He was used to traveling on ships for long distances, but it was still nice to have little stops like this. Especially when tensions on the small ship were so high. M and H avoided each other to a toxic extent since the incident. M was giving off some bluesy, depressing vibe everywhere she went. It had gotten slightly better in the past few days, but not much.

Mika was the first off the ship, shouting at a few of the depot attendants that they need refueling. He and the other three meet at the bottom of the docking ramp. There was a sort of awkward tension between M and H. She  still avoided looking at him. He, however, appeared to have possibly gotten some sleep.

“We’ll be spending the evening on this planet.” H always took charge whenever announcing their plans. It was a little comical – M and Mika usually looked like they were utterly bored with the behavior. M didn’t look bored now though. She just looked sad. “We’ll find a spot outside of town to land for the evening after we’ve refueled. Leave time is first thing tomorrow morning, as soon as the sun is up.”

Iz stretched his legs, inhaling deeply. Sunshine. When he was on a ship for a long period of time, he’d start to forget how good sunshine felt on his skin.

Mika finished barking orders at the attendants and joined them, “You know… I think we could use to re-stock on food.” Her permanent smirk grew a little, “I believe Iz completely threw off our rationing.”

He laughed. “Ah… sorry.”

“Why don’t you and C go find a market and restock us?”

A wide grin spread over C’s face. It was a sort of contagious thing. He liked her smile.

H did not appear nearly as enthused by the prospect.

Mika elbowed her sister. “That is a good idea, no? They should go.”

He’d seen the two do this bit before – ganging up on H so he would give in. Mika knew he didn’t have an issue rejecting something she wanted, but he had extraordinary issues rejecting anything M wanted.

M didn’t play her part this time; she just looked at H. He waited for her to say something.

“She is your daughter.”

He wasn’t sure where the statement came from, but H appeared entirely caught off guard by it. The tension hanging around them grew infinitely worse.

H looked away from her quickly. “Yes. Yes, of course, it’s fine. We’ll move the ship in the meantime, somewhere just outside of town. You have a tracking chip?”

Grinning, C held up a little device capable of leading them back to the ship. “Yep!” She grabbed his arm and started pulling him away from the group, “Let’s go!”

“Oi… hold on. Is there anything you guys need?”

Mika waved a hand airily, “She knows what to get. Go, go.”

C gave him one more solid jerk and he followed after her. “Do you know where you’re going?”

“Not at all.”

“This… this is your first time off planet, yeah?”

She nodded, grinning widely.

He looked around. The planet appeared to have some attractive forested areas as they were landing, but they were currently at a refueling station. Not exactly prime real estate for exploration.

“How soon do you think they expect us to be back?”

She shrugged. “Who? My father or the others? They’re two very different answers.”

He laughed. “Well… I suppose we can get away with a few hours at least?”

“I think so.” The grin on her face was so incredibly contagious.

They exited the refueling station to a busy street and she froze for a second, looking a little hesitant. “Do _you_ have any idea where you’re going?”

He looked around, trying to orient himself. The buildings grew denser off to their left – possibly a path to the city’s center? “Not really, but I’ve done this a few times before. Let’s go that way.”

The closer they got to the center, the more interesting the streets became. They wandered in and out of little shops they ran across and walked through a few parks with gardens and fountains and sculptures until they found a thin river running through the center of the city, flanked with food vendors of all sorts. They found a bench and sat, watching the people walking along the river path.

“We’ve been gone more than a few hours…” He squinted at the sun, trying to guess what time it might be.

She waved a hand, “Eh. I’ll deal with it when I get back. I’m sure we’re fine.”

He laughed, “Well, your father might wring my neck if we’re too late. We should pick up supplies around here and head back soon.”

“Oh…” She snorted, “He’s really not half as bad as he comes across. He just knows how to be intimidating.”

Iz smiled at her, the sound of him yelling at M through the metal doorway replaying in his mind. There was not a doubt in his mind H was a good man – from everything he’d seen he cared very, very deeply for the people in his life and was fiercely protective of them -- especially C. But there was a not so nice side to him as well, that reared its head whenever one of them was in trouble. As showcased by whatever went down between him and M a few days earlier.

He decided to change the subject. “So… Corey…”

She laughed and for a second he forgot how to breathe.

“Nope. Sorry.”

“You should at least give me a hint.”

“I gave you two. I told you it starts with a C, and that my father didn’t name me.”

“Well… I mean come on. That’s not much to go on.”

“Okay… let me think…” She chewed on her lip for a moment, watching a few passersby. “It’s a rather pretty sounding name, I’ve always thought. My mother chose well.”

“I had assumed that much.” He shrugged a little.

She didn’t catch the hint. “Two syllables. It has two syllables.”

He was slightly deflated by her complete dismissal of his compliment.

She watched a group of young women around her age -- fashionably dressed, with their hair done up in various buns and loops and gravity-defying styles. “The people here dress very oddly, don’t they?”

“I think here, you and I are the oddly dressed ones.” He laughed.

“Do you…” She still eyed the girls closely, “Do you prefer that?”

“What?”

“I’ve always assumed women dressed up like that for men.” She motioned discreetly to the girls, “Is that attractive to you?”

He couldn’t suppress a snort, “No. No. Hardly. No.” He looked at the girls again. “Definitely not. It’s a little too… um… flashy for my taste I guess.”

She laughed with him for a moment, then stood. “Let’s go get food. We should definitely get back before the sun goes down. My father would not be happy if we got back after dark.”

 

They returned to the ship, which was nearly an hour’s walk away, outside the city, just before sundown. The sky was filled with dark clouds – no doubt it would rain sometime in the evening. The docking ramp sat open, so they headed in with arms full of food supplies. C shouted for anyone as they shuffled into the kitchen. Her yell was met with a, “Hey!” from Mika.

They started putting everything away when Mika met them. “You two were gone for awhile.” She grinned at them.

“We… may have gotten a little lost.” C tried to sound dismissive.

“Good. That is what I meant for you to do.” She joined them, digging her hands into a bag, “What did you get? Anything good?”

C’s face lit up, “Oh, there was this fantastic vendor with all these different nuts… I don’t even know what half of them are but he assured me they’re all edible. I think you and your sister can figure something out with them…”

“You can’t?”

C unloaded a bag of various fruits onto the table, “You know I’m at a bit of a loss when it comes to that kind of thing. Great at execution, not so great at invention.” She paused for a moment. “Maybe that’s why my bread is always so good.”

Mika waved a finger at her, “Yes. That is exactly it.” She grabbed a few of the fruits from the table and sniffed them. Iz had noticed she had an odd habit of smelling all her food. Though it probably wasn’t that odd considering she couldn’t see.

She tapped a spiny greenish-yellow fruit, “This one smells amazing. I think I have had it before.”

“Are we cooking tonight? Since we’ve landed somewhere?”

“No. Not tonight. My sister and your father are out.”

C looked surprised, “Out?”

Mika nodded, “Yes. They went to the city.” She paused. “Actually, my sister went to the city. He decided to go track her down about an hour ago.”

“Oh…” She glanced at him, looking concerned. “Do we know where she is?”

Mika waved dismissively, “Yes, yes. Well, no.  Not exactly. I believe she went out for a drink. I’m sure he’ll have no trouble finding her. You two should go relax, I am sure you have been walking all day. I can put this away.”

“Are you sure? We can…”

“Ay!” She snapped at the girl, “Do I look disabled or something?”

Iz wasn’t sure why he hid his grin behind his hand – it’s not like she could see it anyway. It was about the funniest thing she could have said though, standing there completely blind and with one cybernetic arm.

C bit her lip as well, trying not to laugh. “You know I didn’t mean anything by it, Mika. Just… let us know if you need help with anything, okay?”

Mika shooed them out of the kitchen and Cerys grabbed his arm again, “I have an idea! Come with me.”

She led him through the ship, up to the top level, and through a hatch to the top. They climbed up and sat, looking away from the city and out over the forested area, watching the sun set.

“Ah… good call.” The view was fantastic. “Do you come up here often?”

She shrugged, “From time to time. It’s better like this, I think.”

He wasn’t sure if she meant it was better with a sunset on a different planet or that it was better with him. Maybe both? He hoped she meant both.

“This isn’t the sort of planet you like to visit, is it?”

“Hm? Well… no, not really. I mean. I like this.” He motioned out to the sunset.

She nodded, “I could tell you’re not much for cities.”

“Eh… Yeah. Not really. I mean I do like them, from time to time. In small doses. But they get a little… noisy for me, I guess.”

“By noisy, I’m assuming you’re talking about the women with the hair.”

He laughed. “Well… yes. It’s just a lot of… stuff. You know?”

She nodded, looking out over the sunset. “Yes, I think I know what you mean. You did show up to our ship with a small satchel full of your worldly possessions. You don’t strike me as a person who likes having a lot of stuff.”

“Mmm… yes. That’s exactly it, I think.”

“Why?”

He thought for a moment. “I don’t really know exactly why. I just… I have what I need. Everything else seems sort of… useless. I suppose traveling a lot has a great deal to do with it.”

“Hm… well, thank you for accompanying me anyway. I have a feeling the planet Ren is on is more like this… I can’t imagine he’d be living in a city.”

“So… you call him Ren? Just Ren?”

She nodded at him blankly.

“It’s just… it’s almost a little hard to believe, still. I mean… Kylo Ren. He’s… a legend, among Force users, to say the least.” He wondered if she knew what he was legendary for. Did she know he was the grandson of Darth Vader? That he participated in the slaughter of dozens of innocent Force users, not to mention countless others? She must not have known. She spoke of him with nothing but adoration. Did Mika know? That was an even more important question. She was about to have the man’s child. He hoped she had an understanding of who exactly he was.

Her mouth twisted a little and she inhaled sharply. As if she could read his thoughts: “I know what he’s done. I’m not completely ignorant to the world. I know how much damage he’s caused, how many people he’s hurt. He’s different now. Everything is different now. And I know that doesn’t excuse his past misgivings, but… but it’s something. He’s not a bad person anymore.”

She meant it, with every fiber of her being.

“How did Mika meet him? Do you know?”

“Hm? Oh, they met before I knew them.”

“Did your father already know M by then?”

“Er… I’m not sure.” She said quickly.

He considered his next question carefully. “I’m just really, really curious, what does your father think of him?”

C inhaled deeply, an odd little smile twitching at her lips. “Oh… that… well… they don’t particularly get along.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I had a feeling that was the case.”

“They’re very… very much opposed to each other. It is odd. Because they’re so similar in so many ways. The more I get to know each of them, the more similarities I find. But… yes. They do not get along. My father has never been hugely fond of Force users, to be honest. No offense.”

He shook his head, “None taken. I could tell. What is it though? That makes him not like us much?”

“Well… my father isn’t much of a mystic, I guess you could say. He’s very literal, very grounded in tangible things. He’s a scientist, by trade, actually. An engineer of sorts.”

“Hm… it’s odd to me, I guess.”

“Yes, I’m sure it would be.”

“No, no, I mean… that so many people separate the Force into a sort of “mystical” box. I mean… your father has seen it work, right?”

“Oh, yes, of course he has.”

“So… I mean it’s not entirely mystical. It is, at least in some sense, to some extent, a measurable, viewable thing.”

“Well… yes. But that’s not entirely it. I think it’s a multitude of things with him. One part is the mysticism side of it. The other part, I think, is that he hates the idea that a few select people are born with this completely extraordinary ability that sets them far above everyone else, without even really trying.”

He found himself frowning. “Is that how it looks? Like we don’t even try?”

“Well… yes and no. Hear me out. Of course your abilities call for training and refining and you obviously work very hard to improve upon your abilities. But at the same time, you have to admit they do put you far ahead of most people from day one.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I guess. I can see that. But to be fair, everyone is born with things that work in their favor, and things that don’t. It took me some time to come to terms with that.” He thought of his siblings. No doubt that was how they felt when he was found to be Force sensitive. His twin brother had made it abundantly clear in ways that he hadn’t recognized until years later, when it was too late. “I think it also depends on your interpretation of the Force.” The sun had fallen and it was completely dark. He wished he could see the stars, but it was too cloudy. Thunder played in the distance. He sighed. “But that’s a conversation for another time. Are you hungry?”

She laughed, “Is that your subtle way of hinting that you’d like me to make food for you?”

“Well… I’d offer to make some for you but I can assure you it’d be a disaster. You’d be better off not eating.”

She hugged her knees to her chest. “You should help me.”

“Cook?”

“Yeah. I can teach you.”

“If you’re willing to tolerate my complete ignorance, I’m willing to participate.” He looked up, “The sky looks pretty nasty anyway. We should head in soon.”

Like he called for it to happen, there was a loud clap of thunder over them, and suddenly it was pouring rain. He laughed and looked at her. She smiled widely, “I love the rain!”

For the second time that day, he forgot how to breathe for a second. She looked so beautiful, squinting and smiling at him through the raindrops. “Do you want to... stay out here?” He felt completely stupid after he asked and hoped it came across as a joke.

She laughed, shaking her head, “No. Not really. Let’s go in.”

He helped her around to the door, making sure she didn’t slip. As he turned, he noticed H and M were out front of the ship. They looked like they’d come from the city, and were just far enough away that he couldn’t overhear what they were saying. She’d fallen and was sitting in a puddle of mud, drenched in rain, looking up at him helplessly. His hand was over his face, his shoulders shaking as he laughed at her. Suddenly, he knelt down, into the mud, and kissed her.

It made Iz smile. It was good to see them on right terms again. He got C’s attention and pointed to them. She peered out curiously, and smiled.

H was stroking the side of her face, saying something to her. It was odd, watching him behave so tenderly toward someone. Whenever Iz was around, he was borderline militaristic with his behavior. Watching him laugh and kiss her was almost like viewing an entirely different person.

“He really loves her, doesn’t he?”

“Mm. Yes. He does.”

H leaned in to kiss her again and she pulled him down completely into the mud, with her.

C grabbed his sleeve as she dropped down into the ship. They were both sopping wet from the rain. He grinned at her. “I guess it’s good to see they’re doing okay.”

She laughed a little, pushing her matted hair back from her face, “Yes, it is. I think we should maybe dry off before we try to cook. I’ll meet you in the kitchen in 15 minutes. Is that enough time for you to get changed?”

He looked down at his dripping clothes, “Yeah. I think so.”

She darted off to her room, leaving wet puddles for footprints in her wake. He made his way to his room, passing by the docking ramp as he went. He froze when he saw H and M, who had made it into the ship. They were both caked in mud – he had her pinned to the now mud-smeared wall, kissing her as she whispered something to him.

Through the mess of mud and whatever else was going on, he saw H’s blue eyes open narrowly and focus on him. He rolled his eyes and waved viciously for Iz to go away.

Iz complied as quickly as possible, trying not to laugh.

Back in his room, he peeled the sopping clothes from his body and dried off the best he could. He didn’t really own a lot of clothing, but he did have a few spare changes. He pulled on a pair of dark pants similar to the others he was wearing and a loosely fitted white shirt he generally avoided wearing because it revealed a little more of his tattoos than he’d prefer H to see. The neckline was just wide enough to make the markings on his chest and shoulders visible and the sleeves had a tendency of sliding up to expose more of his arms.

It was the only clean thing he had at the moment, and he was willing to bet H would be distracted for the rest of the evening.

He made his way to the kitchen, noticing H and M had (mercifully) disappeared, but not without leaving a trail of mud smears leading to their bedroom.

C was already in the kitchen, her face buried in the pantry as she dug for whatever ingredients they need.

“So… What are we making?” He grinned at her as she turned. “Celeste?”

“Oh… you already had your guess today.”

“So that’s a no?”

“That’s me saying I won’t answer.”

“Yeah… but if I guessed correctly I bet you’d tell me. Or at least, I’d be able to tell from you reaction. Ceree.”

She shrugged a little in response. “That’s up to you. Maybe I’m a fantastic liar.”

He laughed. “No. You’re not. I already know that. So what are we making?”

“I was actually just thinking a quick fry up of different things… does that sound okay to you?”

“Anything sounds okay to me.”

She unloaded a pile of various vegetables onto the table, “Help me peel these.” She put a spare knife in front of the stool next to hers and sat, starting work.

He slid into the stool and began to peel.

“No, no. Not like that.” She stopped him quickly. “You’ll slip and cut yourself. Hold it like this.” She demonstrated for him and he readjusted until she gave her approval.

She was quiet for a moment, then wrinkled her nose, “Did you see the mud?”

He laughed. “Ah… yeah I saw more than the mud. They’re going to be okay, I think.”

She giggled a little, smiling. “They try so hard to hide it but they’re really terrible about it, aren’t they?”

“They really are.”

“You’re holding it wrong again.”

“Oh…” He quickly corrected himself. “So… Carly…”

“Ha. No. Definitely not.”

“You don’t like that name?”

“Not at all.”

“Okay, okay. You’re picky. What was your favorite thing from today?”

“Hm?” She thought for a moment. “Ah, the market was very fun. They have all kinds of different things I’ve never seen before here. I can’t wait to see what the twins come up with using some of it. They’re very creative with this sort of thing. What was yours?”

“Definitely the very fashionable girls by the market.”

She cracked up again, “Oh, I don’t want to make fun of people, but it was pretty awful wasn’t it?”

“You should really try doing your hair like that. It’d be _super_ attractive.”

She shook her head, “I am almost half impressed by it. How do they make it stay like that?” She shrugged it off. “I suppose, who are we to make fun of people for having odd hair. Look at the Mika and her sister.” She motioned to him, “And you for that matter.”

“It’s not _that_ bad is it?”

She looked at him analytically for a moment. “I don’t know, I think yours is fine. It suits you. Mika’s hair might be just as odd though.” She laughed, “But hers really suits her as well. It’s just odd enough for her.”

He does recall being a little startled by her odd, angular style when he first met her, but C was right, it was quite suiting.

“When I was little, I always used to want to do something with mine like Mika and her sister have. I suppose I grew up with them being these sort of ultimate females in my mind… It was like I might be able to channel some of whatever it is that makes them both so amazing. Now that I’m a little older though…” She shook her head, “I’d just prefer to keep something easy. Plus I work on the ship all the time. I need to be able to pull it back.”

He was about to tell her she shouldn’t change it, not unless she wanted to, when she yelped and dropped her knife.

She cursed. “Oh… Of course I do that right after I lecture you about holding your knife correctly…” A thin line of red came through the pad of her thumb. She stood, “I need to go clean it…”

“Mm. Wait.” He put his knife and vegetable down and held his hands out. “Give me your hand.”

She looked at him strangely. He realized it probably sounded completely bazaar.

“Just… trust me.” He took her hand and held it between his palms for a moment, focusing on the cut. When he revealed her hand again, the cut was gone.

Her eyes widened, “Oh! What? What was that? Is that a Force thing?”

He laughed at her reaction, nodding a little, “Yeah… it was one of the first things I figured out how to do. Pretty handy when you’re a kid, getting banged up running around all the time.”

She rubbed the pad of her thumb with her index finger, “Iz… that’s amazing! I don’t even think Ren can do that! At least, I’ve never seen him do that.”

He was starting to feel a little embarrassed that he showed her. It wasn’t a bad cut, she would have been fine rinsing it and using a bandage. He didn’t want to look like he was showing off. He tried to shrug it away.

She put a pan on the stovetop and heated some oil in it, still rubbing the pad of her thumb nonchalantly. “How does it work?”

“Hm?”

“The healing thing. How does it work?”

He thought for a moment, “Honestly, I’m not entirely sure. I just sort of… channel the Force through whatever I want fixed and it seems to work.”

“Is it difficult?” She threw one of the vegetables into the heated pan.

“It’s easy on little things, like that. Larger injuries make me tired though. Shortly after I started my training I tried to use it to heal a pretty deep lightsaber wound on one of my classmates and it just about knocked me out.” He laughed at the memory. She didn’t look amused.

“A lightsaber wound? Did they make you fight each other or something?”

He laughed again, “No. I mean yes, but just sparring. Not with actual sabers. It was actually just a stupid accident – he was trying to show off flipping it around and cut his leg.”

She threw another vegetable in. “That’s so interesting… did it work though? You were able to completely heal him?”

“Oh yeah, it worked. I slept for half a day afterward. Why are you adding one at a time?”

“Hm? Oh, I suppose I’m being an awful teacher right now. Some cook faster than others. You have to time it all right.”

He nodded a little, looking in the pan. It smelled amazing. “That makes sense. How do you know how long it takes to cook each of them?”

“Experience. Mika and her sister were very stubborn when they were teaching me. They refused to give me cook times for anything. They said I needed to learn on my own. I ruined this sort of dish so many times before I figured it out. It’s sort of difficult to tell…” She smiled at him, “What would you add next?”

He looked over the remaining ingredients and pointed to a green crunchy looking one, “That?”

She nodded, “You’re half right. That and this one.” She motions to a purple skinned fleshy plant. “That one looks soft but it’s actually a bit tough. It needs some time on the heat to soften up.”

When it was all finished, she portioned out two plates of the dish and sat next to him. “I wonder what Mika is up to…”

“She’s been sleeping a lot lately.” He took a bite. “Oi. This is good.”

She laughed at him, “See, you can cook.”

“I hate to point this out, but you did most of this.”

She shrugged, changing the subject. “From what I’ve seen with Mika, I imagine pregnancy must be a nightmare. She’s not usually like this. She’s been tired all the time and…” She glanced around quickly, making sure Mika hadn’t snuck into the room somehow. “And she’s suuuper moody.”

He laughed. “She’ll be a good mother though. Seems like she’s tough as nails. I’m pretty sure that’s what it takes.”

“Yes, she will be a very good mother. And Ren will be a good father.”

Iz couldn’t imagine that in the slightest.

“He was very good with me when I first came into their lives. He likes to play.” She nodded. “He’ll be good. I’m really glad you decided to stay and help us find him. Mika feels much better for it, I know.”

“If you all keep cooking like this for me, I’m completely willing to be your indentured servant.”

“What is this?” She reached toward him and moved the collar of his shirt, “Oh… woah.”

He pulled back from her a little. “Um…”

“Do you have them… all over?”

He nodded. “Eh… more or less.”

“Really?”

“Um… yeah.”

“Why do you hide them? You had them done…”

“Eeeh… I mean yes, I did choose to have them done. And I do like them. I just never really took into account the reactions other people would have to them. So I keep them covered, for the most part. I can’t always… with my hands at least. But the others are easy to hide.”

“Will you roll your sleeves up?” She looked at him with a big smile. “I’m curious. They’re really rather neat looking.”

He would say no, but she had that sort of smile he couldn’t refuse. Plus, she called him neat. He pushed his sleeve up and held his arm out to her. She traced one of the lined designs with her finger, “Wow… there’s more ink than skin… It’s beautiful; I don’t think I’ve ever seen a design like this. How did you decide on what to do?”

He’d already concluded rolling his sleeve up was a fantastic idea, based solely on her fascination. Maybe the best idea he’d had in awhile. “Ah… I sort of had a general idea, but a friend of mine – a really excellent artist – did the brunt of the work.”

“Did it hurt?”

“Eh… most of it wasn’t too bad. It was a good mental practice more than anything.”

“Did you get it all at once? How long did it take?” She was talking fast, looking over the patterns on his arms with bright eyes.

“Oh it took a really long time for all of it… I had it done over about 6 months.”

“And the same person did all of it? Were you actually in one place for a full six months?”

“Well I didn’t really stay in one place. I just happened to visit a lot of the planets near the one my artist friend was on. I’d just swing by every few weeks for another session.”

“What made you decide to do it? That’s a big commitment.”

He thought for a moment. “There were a lot of things that went into it. I’d seen a few people with similar tattoos and thought it looked really neat. And I was having a sort of rough time and I think… I think I just needed to commit to something. And then I met my friend and saw his work, and it just sort of clicked.”

“Hm…” She chewed on the tip of her spoon, “I’m continuously amazed. Your life is so much more interesting than mine.”

“You think? I disagree with you. Have you seen your family? You can’t honestly tell me you’ve had a boring life with them.”

She laughed. “Well… yes, there is some truth to that.”

He smiled at her for a moment, wishing he could make her laugh more. “You look tired.”

She sighed dramatically. “I am… I think the rain defeated me.”

“Why don’t you go get some rest? I can take care of cleaning up.”

“Oh… are you sure?”

He waved the comment off, “Yeah there’s not much at all. Don’t worry about it. Go get some sleep.”

She smiled at him sweetly and he wished he could think of some way to make a move on her that didn’t feel like a complete violation of the sort of friendship they’d formed.

“Today was… great. Thank you.”

“Eh. It was nothing.”

She stood, “You can say that all you want, but it was something to me.” She grabbed her plate to move it to move it to the sink and he snatched it from her.

“Nope. I’m taking care of this.” He stood quickly, blocking her from grabbing at the plate again. She looked at him with a little smirk and he pictured himself brushing some curls behind her ear… telling her to sleep well…

It seemed like such a good idea and such an awful idea at the same time.

“You’re a very good friend, Iz.” With that, she turned and darted out of the kitchen.

It wasn’t the first time she’s told him that. It came with a little pang of regret. He was happy to be her friend, of course. He’d be happier with a little more than that though.

He shook his head at what felt like his complete failure and moved the plates to the sink. He wondered, momentarily, when the last time was that he washed a dish by hand. It was nearly unheard of. There were machines that could handle it quite easily. It was odd to be on board a decked out spaceship with a crew of clearly very talented, knowledgeable, tech-savvy people, and have to wash dishes by hand.

“Iz?”

He looked over his shoulder to see her standing in the doorway, bouncing on her toes like she was nervous.

“Hm?”

“It’s Cerys.”

Cerys.  So that was her name. To the best of his recollection, he’d never met anyone with that name. He never would have guessed it. He cracked a grin. “It is a very pretty name.”

Her nervous grin dropped quickly, “Don’t use it. Don’t let anyone know I told you. Okay?”

He nodded and the grin reapeared. “Good night Iz.”

“Good night.”

She looked at him for a moment.

“Cerys.” He added quickly. He liked how it sounded. There was a sort of smooth, cutting sound to it that suited her well.

She pointed at him, “Don’t let my dad see those.”

She was pointing at his exposed forearms. He laughed. “Yeah, I didn’t plan on it.”

She left again and he turned back to the sink, running warm water and starting to clean. He’d just finished when he heard footsteps behind him again. It was M, dragging her feet through the doorway. She didn’t seem to notice him. Based on the way she walked, he guessed she must have been drunk.

She dug into the pantry and pulled out a bag of tea leaves, only noticing him when she turned. “Oh. Hey.” Her speech was definitely a little slurred.

He laughed. “Hey. You okay?”

She made a noise that he assumed meant yes in Ysookian. She smiled a little as she said it. “I just need tea.”

“Do you… need help?”

“Eh…” She waved at him. He took it as a no.

He decided to slow play leaving. He’d rather not have her burn herself with boiling water as she tried to drunkenly make tea.

“Did she have fun today?”

He dried his hands and went to the table to talk with her. “Yeah. I think she did.”

M nodded curtly. “Good. You and she were gone for much time.”

He wanted to laugh at how degraded her Basic was when she was drunk. “We got a little lost in the city. I think she needed an adventure.”

“Ay.” She pointed at him, winking, and then said something in Ysookian.  A crease formed in her brow, like she was confused. “I am sorry. My language gets confused…”

He couldn’t stop a laugh this time, “Why don’t you let me finish that for you?” He grabbed the teapot and she grabbed his wrist.

She mumbled something in her language, looking at his wrist. He realized he hadn’t rolled down his sleeves. “Oh…”

She made a curious noise and pulls his arm toward her, “It is… eh… word.” She closed one eye, scrunching her nose. “Beautiful? Yes. You hide them?”

He managed to pry his arm away from her, “Er… yeah. I don’t like everyone being able to see them.” He filled the teapot with hot water.

“Hm… I never got any…” She motioned toward his arms, “Ah… word?”

“Tattoos?”

“Yes. Those. Never.”

He slid the teapot onto the table. She dug into a cupboard and pulled out two mugs, then paused. She opened another cupboard and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. Then she turned and grabbed the teapot, stopping only when she noticed him looking at her.

She wiggled the bottle of whiskey, “For him.”

“Ah… I see.”

With a finger she somehow managed to spare, she pointed at his arms, “Don’t let Ar…” She paused again. “Don’t let H see that.”

He laughed and rolled his sleeves down. She stumbled out of the kitchen and back to their room.


	7. Chapter 7

Armitage found her in the first bar outside of town – not to his suprise, in a gentlemen’s bar. There were two empty whiskey glasses on the catwalk in front of her and a third, half empty, in her hand. She watched the girl on stage closely, reclined with her feet on the catwalk next to the glasses.

Things had gotten slightly better between them. They were sleeping in the same bed again, most nights. They spoke a little. But she clearly still felt guilty for her actions, and he clearly still hadn’t forgiven her.

She looked confused when she saw him. Deservedly so – he’d always avoided this sort of institution. He felt incredibly out of place.

“Mila… we should go home.”

“Why?” She finished off her glass and flagged the waiter for another, which was delivered promptly.

It was a good question. There was no real answer. They had no reason to go back to the ship. He just wanted her there. With him.

He glanced to the girl on the catwalk. She was long and leggy, with blonde hair and striking blue eyes.

“Do you actually enjoy this?”

She took a drink and pointed at the girl, “Her name is Nora. I think she’d come home with us if we asked.”

He shook his head.

“No? Not interested?”

“She’s not my type.”

She looked at him for a few moments, and then looked back to the girl. “You have bad taste.”

He rolled his eyes and sat next to her, facing her rather than the entertainment.

Mila flagged the girl over, much to his chagrin. She leaned forward to talk to her, as the girl gave her a pretty half smile. “What do you think of my friend here?” She pointed to him.

The girl glanced to him. He tried to look as bored as he felt.

“He’s quite handsome, yeah?” She looked at him again, “Is he yours, Mila?”

So they’d exchanged names. He didn’t know how he felt about that.

“Yes.” He answered for her. She was expecting him to.

Mila looked away quickly, scratching her nose. “You think he’s handsome?” She finished off her fourth drink and ordered another. He was concerned about how quickly she was going through glasses. “I quite agree.” She looked at him. “What do you say? Could we use a third?”

He sighed a little. It wasn’t the first time she’d done this. She already knew the answer -- the same one he always gave. The girl looked between them with a raised eyebrow. And then, he got an idea.

“She is very pretty.”

Mila blinked at him, her expression faltering. She stood and slid the remainder of her new glass onto the table. “I’m done.” She started to leave, then paused, picked up the glass and finished it off, then storms out.

He didn’t bother saying anything to the girl; instead he went after Mila.

It was dark and raining outside, but she either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

“Mila…”

She flipped him off.

He followed a few steps behind her as she made her way back to the ship. It was absolutely pouring rain and they were both soaked.

They reached the edge of town and he caught up to her. She was very drunk and he didn’t want her walking through the stretch of forest before the ship by herself.

“Mila.”

She huffed, “What.”

“Mila… you know I’m not actually interested in that girl.”

She huffed again and cut him off, stomping into the forest.

He stayed close behind, almost amused by her anger. Maybe she’d stop asking for good now.

She broke out the other side of the forest just before him.  The ship was in sight, and she was walking quickly through the downpour.

Suddenly, her foot hit a slick looking mud puddle and she slipped, falling straight into the mud. He stopped before her, covering his mouth as he laughed. She looked utterly pathetic, caked in mud and glaring up at him from the puddle.

She cursed in her language, “What is your problem exactly?! What was that about?!”

He rolled his eyes and crouched down to her level, just outside the mud puddle, “Mila… You know I’m not interested in anyone else. And I’m certainly not going to share you with anyone.” He nodded a little. “The thing you forget is that you feel the same way about me.”

Her nose twitched and she looked away quickly. He watched her for a moment, and then realized he hadn’t noticed with all the rain: she was crying.

“I did not want to hurt you.”

He frowned a little and she looked at him pleadingly. He heaved a sigh, “I wish I could tell you everything is okay, but it would be a lie.”

She hung her head in the saddest way. The puddle and the rain weren’t helping any.

He pulled her face up to meet his and kissed her. “But… I would like to move past this. I’m tired of avoiding you.”

She was quiet for a moment, looking at him with painfully large, sad eyes. “I will not share you.”

He laughed, nodding, “Good.”

She must have been very drunk, because she wiped at her face and smeared her cheek with mud.

“Mila… you’re making a mess.”

“It is right.”

Her Basic was terrible when she got this drunk. He thought he understood what she was trying to say though. “You’re not a mess… I mean you are a mess right now because you’re covered with mud. But you’re not really. I couldn’t be this…” He sighed, trying to think of the right word. “This besotted with someone that was really a mess.”

She looked very blank. “Eh?”

There were times he really wished he had a more limited vocabulary.

“Just… forget it.” He pulled her muddy face forward again and kissed her. She was like putty, leaning into him like the kiss was the biggest relief she’d had in some time.

“Eh… Word…” She muttered into his lips. He wanted to laugh at her complete inability to form sentences.

“You know what that word it means, Mila.” He caught her lips again, taking time to enjoy them.

“No.”

“You’re smart enough to figure it out. Even if you’re drunk.”

She leaned into his kiss and grabbed the collar of his jacket. He would have to wash it.

“Say it.”

He smiled against her lips. “It means in love. You know that.”

Her fingers snaked around the back of his neck. He’d have to shower too. She licked at his lips and he decided it was probably worth it.

Suddenly, she rocked back and pulled him down into the mud with her, kissing him deeply.

“Mila…” He tried to push himself up, to at least get somewhat out of the mud, but she tripped his leg and pulled him back down with all her weight. He could feel her smirking against his lips.

“Stay…”

The way she begged made his knees go too weak to try and stand again. He fell toward her more, grasping at her waist for support. She dug her hands into his hair.

He was definitely going to need a shower.

“Inside?”

He broke from her lips and nodded, pulling her up out of the mud.

She let her hand slide down his side to his wrist and led him up the docking ramp. He tried to close the doorway when they reached the top and she tugged on his arm impatiently.

“Wait…”

“No.” She pushed between him and the keypad and pulled his lips onto hers again. “No. Now.” Her kisses were wet and desperate and exactly what he wanted at the moment.

He pulled her back from the wall a bit to get the door closed and she climbed onto him, digging her hands into his hair. Her legs were completely covered in mud, and thanks to her apparent insatiable need to have every bit of him right then and there, his pants and waist were too. She whispered in her language: “Don’t take this away from me.”

He’d never been good with languages, but being around her and Mika so heavily over the past years he’d managed to pick up enough of it to understand basic things. He’d never really told her – it was more a treat to listen to what she and Mika said when they thought he couldn’t understand.

With her legs wrapped around him, she pushed her hips into him and gasped against his lips, continuing to speak in her language. It was very possible that she was drunk enough to not remember how to speak Basic.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you… but please don’t take this away.”

The exit was starting to close and he pulled her away from the keypad, trying to keep her from bumping any buttons and reopening it. He pushed her up against the opposite wall, grunting a little and kissing her desperately. He hadn’t forgiven her. He didn’t know that he could forgive her. But it made him sad that she thought he’d ever take _anything_ away from her, particularly himself.

“I need…” Her voice caught and her back arched. “Need…” Her hips played against his hard enough to make him a little crazy. He dug his mouth into her neck, half to taste it and half to stifle a desperate noise he couldn’t stop.

“You understand me. I know.”

He opened his eyes. How did she know he understood?

Something caught his attention -- Iz, standing in the far doorway looking like he didn’t know what to do.

The boy had the worst timing of anyone he’d ever met, and to make it worse he froze when he walked into places he shouldn’t be.

He waved as clearly, but as subtly, as he could. How could the kid not understand to _get out_?

He scurried away quickly, down the hallway to his quarters.

He turned his attention to Mila, who thankfully hadn’t noticed Iz’s brief, very unwelcome presence. The skin on her neck was soft and perfect pressed against his mouth and he took a light nip at it before he drew back to look at her.

She kept her hands woven into his hair, her neck lax with her head resting against the wall, looking down her nose at him. “We do not say it, but I do love you.”

He let out a sort of grateful sigh as he pressed his lips back into hers. He didn’t want to respond. She welcomed his lips wholly, then managed to mutter in Basic, “Bed.” It was more of an order than a question.

“How about the shower instead?”

 

He woke up late. He always felt like he woke up late, but this time it really, really felt like it. He couldn’t remember when he fell asleep… there was the shower and then the bed and then Mila brought tea and whiskey and they forgot about the tea… which would explain his splitting headache and the still-full mugs of cold tea sitting on the table next to their bed…

He was sprawled across the bed at an odd angle, with sheets tangled around him and Mila clinging to his chest.

He nuzzled his nose into her hair and fell back asleep. If Mika really needed to find Ren that badly, she could operate the ship on her own for a day.

 

**

 

Cerys was happy to not see any sign of her father or Mila the next day. She and Mika took care of getting them back on their way, which turned out to not be as big of a problem as she’d expected. Mila was definitely the pilot of the group – Cerys hadn’t had much practice, and sadly blind people didn’t make the best pilots. When she asked, Iz informed her that, yes, he had piloted a few times before, but he was really no good and he’d rather not wreck their ship trying. He offered her moral support by joining her in the control room; she demanded he not laugh.

When she angled a little incorrectly and nearly took the top off a line of trees, he stifled a snort next to her.

Luckily the coordinates for their destination were programmed into the ship, so after takeoff she was able to relax a little.

The remainder of the trip went quickly – it was only two more full days of flight until they reached the planet Ren was supposedly on. Iz claimed he could sense the presence of another Force user when they landed. She didn’t really know they were capable of that – Ren never mentioned it. It all sounded rather flimsy to her, but then maybe she was thinking a little too much like her father.

They landed in a private area just outside the edge of a small village. It was a very hilly planet, dotted with small islands. Cerys was taken with the terrain – it was quite beautiful and very different from the planet she’d been on for the past several years.

Iz must have noticed her fascination – he gave her a half smile and asked if she’d ever seen an ocean.

She had. There was an ocean on the planet she lives on, a few hours flight time from their home. She’d visited once or twice.

“I’ve never been on a tiny little island like this.” She admitted to him, looking to the ocean, which was clearly visible on either side when they exited the ship. “It’s… cute. Everything feels so small.”

He looked out over a cluster of hilly islands, “My hunch is that he’s on a smaller island… I imagine he keeps to himself? He’s probably somewhere a little more remote, I’m guessing on his own.”

“You can’t tell what direction he’s in?” She couldn’t help the snarky tone she asked in.

He looked at her a moment, almost surprised, then laughed. “No. If he were actively using it I might be able to get a better idea of what direction, but right now it’s more of a general presence.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Might?”

He laughed again, “I know, it sounds like I’m just making it up, right?”

She shrugged, feeling bad that she came across so critically. “Well… yes.”

He smirked at her, speaking quietly so Mika couldn’t overhear, “It’s almost as strange as you thinking Kylo Ren is a nice guy.”

Ren had an awful reputation, and from what she could tell he had earned it. She was, however, excited to introduce Ren to Iz. Not that Ren was overly friendly, but Iz once mentioned he’d only met a couple other Force users. She thought it would be good for them to interact. Also, she thought it would be good for Iz to see that Ren really wasn’t a bad person. At least, not anymore.

The fact hadn’t left her mind for a second since she learned it: her father was very much responsible for the death of his entire family. She’d kept the heartbreaking fact to herself. Her father, no doubt, would see it as a huge risk to their safety. Iz didn’t strike her as a temperamental or even remotely violent person, but Armitage might be right to think he was be a liability if he were to find out their secret. Mila and Mika would likely be more sympathetic, but ultimately would have the same reaction as Armitage.

Iz would most likely be gone in a few days anyway, once they found Ren. The thought made her sad – he was the only real friend she’d made in the years since she began living with Armitage.

“If it helps,” he offered with a knowing smirk, “I’m pretty sure Ren is in that general direction. But that probably sounds like I’m making it up as well.”

She smiled at him, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come across like that…”

He laughed, “No, no, I’m completely agreeing with you. It sounds like I’m lying. I know. I’d think the same thing if I were you.”

“What does it feel like to sense him?”

“Hm… well it’s sort of a mental tug. Like a hook in your brain pulling you in a certain direction. Unfortunately it’s very weak right now.”

Mila joined them, catching the last bit of their conversation, “So… you can’t tell exactly where he is.”

“Ah… no. Unfortunately not. If he were to use the Force more actively I could give some better guidance, but until then I’m afraid I can’t be very accurate.”

“Hm…” She frowned a little. No doubt she was thinking the same thing Cerys was: Armitage will be very suspicious of an answer like that.

Iz squinted off toward the ocean. “What is she doing?”

Mika sat on the ledge of the cliff, looking out over the ocean.

Iz shrugged quickly, “It’s just... she can’t see. Is she okay that close to the ledge?”

Mila nodded, still looking at her sister. “Oh, yes, yes. She tells me she is calling out to him.” She looked back at Iz. “Does that mean anything to you?”

He looked a little blank. “Er… no. I’m afraid not.”

“You said you have a general direction? Maybe we should just go in that direction and stop on each island?”

He looked out in the direction he pointed, “That may be our best option at the moment.”

 

As they took off for the first island, Cerys noticed Iz playing with a small rock he must have picked up from the island. He pushed it around on the table with his finger for a few moments, then floated it over his palm. He seemed almost bored, watching the rock.

“Is that fun?”

The rock dropped into his palm, “Hm?” He smiled at her, “Oh, no. I mean… I can’t sense him well right now because he’s not actively using the Force. But I don’t doubt that he’d be able to sense another Force user on this planet very quickly. It’s sort of like sending out a message, I guess.”

She noticed Armitage was eavesdropping, tight lipped and a bit skeptical looking.

“I figure even if I can’t locate exactly where he is, he can most likely locate exactly where I am. So one way or another, we’ll run into each other.”

Her father said something to Mila and exited the room.

Moments later they touched down on the first island. It was a small one, didn’t take them long to canvas. No sign of Ren.

They moved on to the second. This one was slightly bigger – they split into two groups. Mila insisted that Cerys and Iz search together, much to her father’s frustration. She appreciated Mila’s effort though – she realized Cerys was going to lose this friend very soon.

It took them about an hour, with no luck, and they moved onto the third… fourth…

 

**

 

Iz kept use of the Force for as much of their search as he could, but by the time they reached the eighth or ninth island (he’d lost count), the sun was starting to set and H was highly irritated and Iz was really starting to feel guilty. There wasn’t much else he could do – since he sensed the mellow, enveloping presence of Ren, he’d been skeptical he would be able to track him accurately. His presence was distinctly different from any other Force user he’d ever been around – first off, far more powerful, but also purposefully dampened. He was trying to hide himself. Not specifically from them, he assumed, but from anyone who might track him to this planet.

His hope was that Ren would sense him, and sense that he was getting closer to Ren’s general location, and would track him down. No luck yet though.

They split into their normal groups to search the island – he with Cerys and H and M together. It’d been about his only saving grace during the search. She was utterly fascinated with the geography of the planet and was more than happy to be out exploring, even if their attempts were unsuccessful.

They had to beg Mika to stay on the ship by herself while they searched each island. She was less than happy with the arrangement, but Cerys pointed out to her that she was pregnant and needed to be taking it easy. That sort of worked, though she was still upset.

He and Cerys headed off to cover one half the island while M and H took the other half. H insisted they be back to the ship by nightfall, which gave them just enough time to cover their half the island.

“Has the feeling gotten any stronger?” Cerys asked after they’d gotten away from the ship.

“No.” He frowned. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would be this difficult. I think he’s trying to hide himself.”

She surprised him with a laugh, “That does seem like something he would do. You can do that? Hide yourself from others?”

“Ah… well no, I can’t. I never really learned how to do that. Unfortunately my training was cut a little short.”

She was quiet, and when he looked at her she was frowning. “Do you regret it? Leaving your training?”

“Hm? No, not at all. I mean… maybe in a way I do. I regret the circumstances under which I left. I wish… I wish I had been able to deal with losing my family a little better. I would probably be much stronger with the Force if I had stayed a longer. But at the same time… Leaving was a great experience for me as well. I’ve seen so many things never would have had I stayed with my training. I guess it’s just sort of a trade off.”

She frowned, looking away from him.

He didn’t like this subject, and clearly it wasn’t making her happy either. “How do you think he’s going to react to the news?”

“That he’s going to be a father? I don’t know. I’ve been wondering that for awhile. I imagine he’ll be happy, but probably quite surprised at first. We’ll have to celebrate.”

“More food?” He grinned at her.

She laughed, “Yes, probably like the night before we left, only better.”

“I am invited, right?”

Her smile flickered at his question. “Yes. Yes, of course you are.”

There was something immensely flattering about her reaction. It made his stomach flop.

“So… you like this planet more than the last one?”

She grinned widely again, “Oh… yes. Yes, quite a lot. It’s really beautiful here.”

He looked out to the sun, then up the stone-lined cliff before them. “If we hurry, we should be able to make it to the top to watch the sunset.”

She had already started up the steep hike. “Well. Hurry up.”

He followed after her, laughing at her enthusiasm. She got terribly excited over the smallest things, it was really endearing.

They almost reached the top when the terrain turned to slippery rocks and they decided to not go any higher. They made their way around to a narrow ledge and sat. He looked over the whole island. He could see their, and could make out two tiny dots, H and M, on the far side of the island. He sighed, “No luck here either, hm? Looks like we’re the only ones.”

“Mmm… I think we can say we’re a little lucky. Just not in the way we’ve been wanting.” She looked out to the setting sun, her eyes hazy in the dusky light. He sort of hated how dreadfully pretty she was at times.

“It is a good view, isn’t it?”

“She told us to take this half on purpose.”

He nodded. “She wants you to see these things. So… Cerys.”

She smiled widely when he used her name. “You like it?”

“You were right, it’s very pretty. Though I don’t think I ever would have guessed it. I’m glad you told me. It suits you well.”

“Much better than Charlotte.”

He laughed and looked up to the cliff above them. “I bet the view up there is even better.”

She glanced up, “You think?”

“Yeah. Let me go check it out, I’ll see if there’s a decent path.”

He made his way away from her, around a rocky corner in search of a semi-climbable path. It took a little while, but he came across a path he thought might work. He decided to test it himself first – he’d rather not put her in a dangerous situation.

It was precarious, the rocks were a little slippery, but he was able to make it to the top without too much struggle. He was right – the view from the very top was even better. He found the ledge and peered over. Her orange hair was bright against the green and grey below.

“Hey!” He called down to her.

She looked up and smiled at him. She was only about 15 feet below. “You made it! Is it good?”

“Way better! Make your way back around and I’ll meet you – the path isn’t too bad.”

He stepped back from the ledge and started down the path to meet her. He reached the bottom of the steep, rocky incline and started around the bend when, very suddenly, he couldn’t move.

There was a familiar electric noise behind him.

“Tell me… _who_ exactly are you?” A tall, black haired man with a mean looking scar across his face stepped around him, the infamous hilted red lightsaber poised at Iz’s neck, “And why are you tracking me down?”


	8. Chapter 8

Ren was exactly like Iz had heard – a very imposing figure, tall, strong looking with broad shoulders. The scar running across his face certainly didn’t make him look any friendlier.

“Ah… wait… hey…”

Kylo Ren didn’t appear happy with Iz’s hesitation. He was notoriously impatient – Iz wondered how long he had before the man tried to run the lightsaber through his neck.

“Waitwaitwait. I’m here with…”

“Ren!”

The man’s face completely changed when he heard the familiar voice. He looked over his shoulder – Cerys held her hands up to ease him, a tight smile on her face.

“Cerys?”

“Will you let my friend go, please?”

“Hm?” He glanced back to Iz briefly, almost like he’d forgotten he had him in a Force hold. “Oh. Yeah.”

Iz almost wanted to fall to the ground when Ren released him, his whole body relaxing immediately.

Cerys jumped onto Ren with a giant hug, “Ren! It’s so good to see you! I’m so glad we found you!”

Much to Iz’s surprise, Kylo Ren returned the hug, “What are you doing here?! Your father let you off that planet?” He paused, then pushed her back, grinning, “Did you finally run away?”

“No, no, my father is here as well.”

The grin on his face faded fast. “Oh.”

She changed the subject quickly. “Are you okay, Iz?”

“Huh? Yeah. Yeah. I’m good.” He waved it off as casually as he could, wishing he had a chair to sit in. Maybe he could just... nonchalantly sit on the ground for a little bit.

“Ren, this is my friend Iz. We actually hired him to help us find you… he’s a Force user as well. I suppose you already know that though. He’s been a great help, really…”

He tried to cover his smirk as she rambled on.

Ren looked at him for a moment, then frowned. “Why were you looking for me?”

Cerys suddenly looked very blank, “Oh… Well… Mika wanted to talk to you. She’s here. Come back to our ship with us?”

“Er… yeah. Mika’s here as well?”

“Yes, we’re all here.”

His eyes narrowed, looking at her suspiciously. She started back down the path, ignoring his clear frustration with her lack of real answers.

They followed after her, Ren catching up to her side. She pointed out to their ship, “We’re just right down there.”

He nodded. “I guess I didn’t know what your ship looked like. I saw it when I landed here, but decided to go after the person I was sensing first.”

“Oh?” She smiled over her shoulder at Iz. “See? Your plan worked!”

Yes. It worked. And almost got him beheaded by Kylo Ren.

She looked back at Ren. “So you landed here? You don’t live on this island?”

“No.” He pointed off to their left, “I’m about a thirty minute flight in that direction.”

“It’s odd,” Iz mused aloud, “You got here after us? I never noticed another ship?”

“I landed right below the cliff that you two climbed. Flew in low and hid my ship against the side.”

“Really? There’s not much space down there…”

Kylo Ren gave him the privilege of a very brief glance coupled with a frown. “I’m a good pilot.”

Iz decided to keep his mouth shut for the remainder of their walk.

“What did Mika want to talk to me about?”

“Hm? Oh, she’ll tell you when we get to the ship. We’re not too far away. You must be excited, it’s been awhile since you’ve seen her and…”

Iz felt a slight headache coming on. There was a somewhat familiar itching sensation in his head, coupled with an uncomfortable pressure.

Cerys stopped mid sentence and punched Kylo Ren’s arm. “Hey! Keep out of my head!” She motioned back to Iz, “And his too, for that matter.”

He looked frustrated.

The headache quickly disappeared. Iz had a few other Force users in his head before. Ren was the first that hurt… more like he was hacking his way into his mind than exploring it.

As they neared the ship, Mika could be seen sitting on the ramp, waiting for them to return. Ren paused and looked at Cerys. “Will you wait here for just a moment?” He glanced back to Mika and frowned. “We… we didn’t leave off on the best note last time.”

“Yes, of course.”

He patted her on the head like she was a child before going to Mika.

When he was out of earshot, Cerys turned to him and wrinkled her nose, “Sorry he reacted so poorly to you at first.”

“I’m just glad you came around the corner when you did.” He looked to Kylo Ren, who stood with Mika, speaking with her quietly. “He likes you quite a bit.”

She smiled, watching the two speak, “Yes, well… he’s very leery of new people, I think. Give him a bit to warm up to you.”

Kylo Ren. Warming up to him. He laughed. This whole thing was so surreal.

Mika was nervous. She fidgeted with her hands while they spoke. It was odd to have seen Kylo Ren hugging Cerys, but the way he behaved around Mika was something completely unexpected. He was hesitant, almost as nervous as Mika at first. He took off the dark glasses she always wore and set them carefully to the side, looking at her tenderly. Iz had never seen her without the glasses, but could just make out the scarring that covered her lids and the bridge of her nose when he removed them. While it didn’t look particularly terrible in an aesthetic sense, it did look like it must have been painful. He wondered what happened to her and filed the question away, to ask Cerys at a later time. She must have been crying, because he was wiping at her cheeks softly.

Suddenly, the towering man wavered a bit. He braced himself on the ramp, his face painted with shock.

“Well… I think he knows now.” Cerys smiled widely next to him.

“You think he’s going to fall over?”

She laughed, “He doesn’t look entirely stable, does he? I feel like we shouldn’t be watching, but I really want to watch.”

“Well… she can’t tell.”

“Very true. I’m surprised he hasn’t shooed us away though.”

He held her face with his gloved hands, wiping at her tears again, and saying something to her. Suddenly, he heaved her off the ramp and into his arms, kissing her.

Cerys elbowed him, “Thank you.”

“Hm? For what?”

“For helping us. See? This is a good thing. The best thing, really. And we couldn’t have done it without you.”

He shrugged, “You would have found him sooner or later. But I’m happy to have helped.”

She frowned at him.

“What?”

“Don’t be so modest. You did help. A lot. And… not just with Mika and Ren.”

It occurred to him that she was trying to thank him for everything he’d done for her as well. Or at least, everything she thought he’d done for her. There was none of it she couldn’t have done without him. The vibe around her was different – slower, a little sad. Because their adventure was coming to an end, which meant they’d be parting ways soon.

He preferred to see her smiling for whatever little time they had left together.

“So… what was it you said about a celebration? And food?”

 

**

 

The sun was just starting to disappear and they still hadn’t located Ren. Armitage felt mildly irritated by this complete waste of time.

Mila sensed it. “Your daughter is enjoying this.”

He frowned. The idea of letting his daughter meander over some foreign planet of islands with some naive mystic wasn’t exactly what he had pictured for her. Not that what he had pictured for her really mattered, but this was such a far cry from what he would deem acceptable.

“It…” Mila paused. She’d been hesitant to assert her opinions in regard to Cerys since their argument. It caught him off guard every time. Mila  _never_ failed to be assertive. “I think it may be good for her to see things like this.”

“Of course it is. I know it is. It’s just…”

“You worry too much, Armitage.” She shook her head, “Mika and I have talked with her. She just thinks of him as a friend. Watch her around him. She is fond of him, but not in the way you are worried about. You want her to have friends, no?”

He sighed, “Yes, yes, of course I want her to have friends.”

“Then what is your problem with the situation?”

He shook his head and looked away from her, “Nothing. I’d rather not discuss this further.”

“Hm…” She turned her face up to the expansive sky above. “It is very beautiful here. I see why Ren likes this planet. Do you suppose my sister will want to stay here with him?”

He hadn’t considered that. It was entirely possible that Mika wouldn’t return with them. “I don’t know. You know her better than anyone. What do you think she’ll do?”

Mila inhaled deeply, scratching the back of her head, “She is so unpredictable… It is hard to tell. You know that’s what they fought about before he disappeared?”

“Hm? Really?”

“He wanted her to move here with him. She didn’t want to leave our planet.”

Armitage liked how she referred to it as “our planet”. It _was_ their planet, in a way. He felt like they owned it. He was glad she felt the same way.

“What made her turn him down?”

“There were many things. She likes our planet. She is comfortable there, and has made a home. Adjusting to new places is somewhat… difficult for her, I think. You have seen her home. It’s very specialized for her.”

It was true – Mika had customized her home to accommodate her blindness. Starting over in a new place would, no doubt, be very difficult for her.

“And there is us… I think that was a bigger factor than she admits.”

“Cerys certainly would miss her.”

“Mm. Yes. And I would. And Mika would miss you, though you may not believe me. She does enjoy teasing you.”

He wasn’t entirely sure he believed that, but he did believe that she enjoyed poking fun at him. For as much as she did it, she must.

“Would you be okay with her moving here?”

Mila was quiet for a moment, her lips pursed. “I would miss her very much.”

He imagined it was difficult for her to consider. They’d really never been separated for any length of time, especially since Mika lost her sight. Mila had essentially been playing the role of Mika’s caretaker for a good portion of their lives. She would never admit it, and Mika would never point it out, but Mika was quite self sufficient despite her inability to see. She would fair just fine on her own. Some twisted sense of love and maybe a little guilt – Mila had always felt partially responsible for her sister’s condition – made her feel obligated to watch over her sister.

They’d almost reached the ship – the light from the door was visible just up ahead. “Mika and I are… we are one.” She looked at him. “You and I are as well. It would be very difficult to be away from either of you.”

“Well… you at least don’t have to worry about me going anywhere.”

He caught her trying to hide a small grin. She stopped and grabbed his wrist, popping up on her toes and kissing him, “Thank you.”

He returned the gesture. “I mean it. I’m not going anywhere.”

She couldn’t hide her smile this time. “You are good.”

He kissed her forehead. “You too. Let’s get back to the ship.”

As they neared the ship Iz and Cerys came into view, off to the side, speaking about something and looking at the ship.

Ren, he realized, was at the ship, with Mika folded up in his arms, hugging her tightly and kissing her.

Mila trotted off to Iz and Cerys, “Oh… Did we miss it?”

Cerys smiled widely at them, “Yes, by just a few minutes.” She lowered her voice, “He nearly fell over.”

Armitage tried to stifle a smirk. He very nearly had the same reaction when he found out about Cerys. It was an odd thing to even consider, but he was fairly certain he knew exactly what Ren felt in that moment.

His daughter looked to the embracing couple, “Do you think we can interrupt yet?”

“I’d maybe wait until he puts her down.” Iz said quickly, laughing a little.

“Where did you find him?” Armitage looked back over the island. He hadn’t spotted anything that looked like a dwelling. Though it wouldn’t surprise him too much if Ren was living like an animal in the bare wilderness.

“We didn’t,” Cerys explained. She was clearly very excited, talking quickly, “He tracked us down. Well, he tracked Iz down. His trick – using the Force to try and draw Ren to us -- it worked! Ren was a little... er… overexcited when he tracked Iz down, but when he figured out he was with me it was okay.”

He caught Iz’s eyebrow rise at the term “overexcited”. Armitage had seen Ren’s “overexcited” moments numerous times in the past. He could imagine Ren’s reaction to a foreign Force user trying to track him down. He actually felt a little bad for the kid.

At the ship, Ren finally let Mika out of his arms, standing over her and stroking her cheekbone. It was odd to see Kylo Ren this venerable. If someone had told him years ago that he’d be watching Ren tenderly stroke the cheek of the woman who was going to have his child, he’d have laughed at them. And been slightly terrified at the thought of Ren having a child (though that wasn't entirely different from the present moment).

If that person had then told him the sister of Ren’s woman would be his, he’d have laughed them off his ship.

Cerys took her queue and joined the two, jumping on Ren with a hug when she got to him. He overheard her ask: “Do I get to be its cousin?”

Mila walked to Ren and jabbed her finger into his chest, “ _You_ will stop running away. My sister needs your help.”

Ren looked half amused, half guilty. Not nearly as guilty as he should look, Armitage thought.

She jabbed him again, “Do not smile. I mean it. You _will not_ act like this anymore. You are a father.”

He pushed her finger away, his smile fading, “I know. I know.” He glanced to Armitage and gave him a nod.

He returned it. They never really exchanged words, or at least they avoided it as much as possible. Armitage certainly wasn’t about to offer fathering advice to the man. He barely felt like he has a grasp on the fathering thing himself, not to mention Ren was going to have a baby… he wasn’t about to pretend he knew anything about that.

Mila clapped her hands together. “Well, if that’s settled, I do think this is reason for celebration.” She motioned to Iz, “I know your job is done, but will you stay one more night for a feast? Tomorrow night?”

Iz gave a toothy smile, “You’re kidding right? You could offer to _pay_ me with your food and I’d accept.”

“Be careful what you say. I may take you up on that.” She looked at Ren. “Will your home accommodate all us?”

“I only have two rooms.”

“Mm. Well a few can sleep on the ship then. Ren, would you care to lead us to your home?”

He nodded, “I’ll bring my ship around. You can follow me.” He disappeared into the quickly darkening night.

They loaded into their ship and a few short moments later Ren zipped around the side of the island in a small ship. They followed him to an island not far away, Cerys chattering away at Mika the whole time, asking if she wanted a boy or a girl, and did Ren mention any names yet…

The island they landed on wasn’t at all what any of them were expecting. Ren did not, in fact, live on a solitary little island. It was one of the largest ones they’d seen on the planet, with a dense little village near the ocean, and a sprawling area of rocky green leading up to a cliff. Ren landed on the flat at the top of the cliff, next to a quaint looking little house. There was just enough room for their ship, which was significantly larger than Ren’s tiny one-man vessel.

The house was shockingly domestic. He’d never expected Ren to reside in something so… normal. It was small and old-fashioned. If anything, it looked like a cozy little nook for a retired couple.

“It is very nice,” Mila remarked to Ren.

He nodded, looking at the house with an expression Armitage couldn’t quite place. “It was my mother’s.”

Hux briefly wondered if Organa had planned on retiring here. Maybe even with the man Ren had killed -- Solo. It seemed odd that Ren would be comfortable residing in such a place, but then most things about Ren made no sense to him.

Ren and Mika were muttering to each other. It was late, and they were all tired. Armitage looked to the other three, “We have no problem taking the ship.” He nodded to his daughter. “Would you prefer to stay in the house?” Ren would be most comfortable with this arrangement anyway, and Armitage had no intentions of crossing him in this setting.

She shrugged, “I suppose.” She looked at Iz, “Is that okay with you?”

Iz appeared surprised by the question. “Yeah. Of course.”

Armitage gave a short nod, “Good. The three of you can plan whatever celebration you want for tomorrow, I imagine that village has some sort of market you can use. We’ll make plans for a return trip tomorrow evening after the celebration. Iz, I believe we still need to arrange payment for you. We can take care of that tonight or tomorrow, whatever you prefer. Then, of course, there is the matter of where we’re leaving you, Iz. We can discuss that matter further tomorrow.”

Mila and Mika both looked like they were about to start laughing. Ren looked bored. He rolled his eyes, “Whatever you say, _General_.” With his hand on Mika’s back, he turned to guide her to his home.

To some extent, Armitage couldn’t help these tendencies. He’d been trained to plan and organize and direct since he could stand upright.

“Oh…” Something about Cerys’ tone concerned him. Iz, he noticed, was looking at him with his hand over his mouth, an odd expression on his face.

It struck him: the boy just realized who he was.

Iz’s hand dropped and he turned away quickly, storming off for a way down the cliff.

Cerys stood with her mouth hanging open for a moment. He didn’t like the expression on her face, at all. She looked like she was about to start crying. She started after him, “Iz…”

He turned back to her and pushed her hand away. The boy always had a smile on his face, but he didn’t anymore. Rather, he looked hurt.

“No. No, let me leave. You knew… You knew _this whole time_ … How could you…” He couldn’t quite seem to eke out a complete sentence.

Cerys’ voice cracked as she spoke. “What was I supposed to say?”

His jaw twitched. He was starting to look angry. “Anything! Literally anything would have been better than saying nothing! I don’t know how you… how _you_ could do this…”

“Iz… I’m…”

“What? You’re _sorry_? You know, I get that you’ve never actually had a friend before, but this is exactly what you’re not supposed to do.” He shook his head. “Maybe it’s a lesson. This is how you lose a friend.”

Hux had been trying to keep in mind that she was really an adult now – she needed to understand these sort of situations and know how to deal with them, because she was more or less doomed to a life of them. But when tears started running down her face, he couldn’t stop himself from stepping in. The boy was, by his judgment, a bit harsh toward her.

He stepped toward them, when something grabbed him and threw him against the wall of the house, hard enough to knock the breath from his lungs. He tried to brace himself, but there was still a strong, uncomfortable pressure holding him to the wall.

Iz stood in front of him with his hand outstretched, almost looking like an entirely different person. “ _You_ …” His dark eyes glowed furiously, “stay the fuck away from me.” He stepped closer to Hux, who was struggling to take a breath. The pressure was far too tight. “If it were not for her I would have killed you the second I realized who you are.” His face twitched with rage, and the pressure suddenly released as he turned, almost throwing Hux to the side.

“Fucking monster.”

Hux managed to not fall, in part because Mila was at his side right away. He watched, finally able to breathe in big gasps of air, as the boy disappeared into the darkness.

“That was… impressive.” Ren’s voice remarked.

Hux glared at him -- Ren was standing mere feet away the entire time, just watching.

He met Hux’s glare with a raised eyebrow, “You deserved that.”

Cerys watched the boy disappear, tears streaming down her face.

He gathered himself upright and stepped toward her, but she shook her head quickly, “No… no… just… stay away right now.” She darted away, hurrying onto the ship with long strides.

He looked at Mila. “Do you think he’s…”

“Dangerous?” She frowned. “No. I do not think he would tell anyone where you are. At least, not when she is around.”

Hux didn't believe that. The boy was a liability now. A danger to his safety, and much more importantly to the safety of Mila and his daughter. He frowned, not wanting his mind to go where it was going. Cerys would never forgive him.

But she would be safe. She would be alive. It had been many years of trade-offs.

Mila, as always, seemed to understand what he was thinking. She put a hand on his chest to slow him. “Let me speak with her. You do not make decisions right now.”

She went after Cerys.

He was left with Ren and Mika, which may have been the least comfortable thing ever. Ren had a similarly grave look on his face. He understood the situation. While he most likely couldn't have cared less about Hux’s well-being -- as evidenced by his complete lack of action moments earlier when Iz was attacking him -- he did care about Cerys and Mika.

Mika jabbed him in the side. “No, you two will do nothing. You will wait to see how Cerys wants to handle this.”

“She won’t have the best judgment in this situation.”

“And you will?” Mika snapped at him. “What is wrong with you two? You jump to such extremes before you will consider talking.”

Neither of them responded. It wasn’t that they wanted to do what they were thinking. They might have to eliminate him to make sure they didn’t lose whatever slice of peace they'd cobbled together in the wake of the destruction they’d caused.

Mika frowned deeply. “She would never forgive either of you.” She turned and walked away, trailing her fingers along the edge of the house like she once did aboard Hux's ship.

Ren looked after her, likely worried she would trip over something. He went to her side quickly.

 

Nearly an hour later, Mila exited the ship and found him sitting toward the edge of the cliff. He was watching out over the village, trying to build a mental map of the layout.

“How is she?”

“Eh…” She sat next to him. “Devastated. He is the only real friend she’s had since she started living with us.”

He frowned.

“It is maybe wrong for me to say, Armitage, but I understand the boy’s anger. His entire family was on Hosnian Prime.”

He’d heard these stories over and over. It wasn’t to say they didn’t affect him. Of course they affected him. “That’s entirely reasonable. But his behavior toward Cerys…”

“He told her a few days after we left our planet. She has known for nearly two weeks now and hidden it from him. I would be angry as well.”

Two weeks? Never mind mentioning it to the boy – it would have been disastrous to let him know while they were aboard that small ship. She should have come to them…

“She did not tell any of us out of fear that we would make him go away. She was right to fear that, you know that is what we would have done.”

“Yes, but…”

“You are not trying to see this through her eyes, Armitage.” Mila frowned at him. “He is important to her. She thinks of him as her only friend. It is something very special to her.”

“Friendship aside…”

“Can you not understand this, Armitage?” Mila looked seriously concerned. “She is lonely, and he made her less lonely. For her, it was worth keeping from you. It was going to be a short trip. He would be gone soon anyway… she wanted to keep as much of it as she could.”

He sighed, “Yes, yes, of course I understand being lonely. I don’t need a lecture on that. I’m more concerned with dealing with the situation at hand.” He lit up a cigarette, not really caring what Mila thought.

Mila looked very sad for a moment. She spoke quietly, “She does not think he is a danger. Armitage…”

He looked at her from the corner of his eye.

“Armitage, do not do anything extreme. He is smart enough to know that giving away your location would put her in danger, and he would not do that.”

“Mm.”

Mila frowned at him in a way he really didn’t like.

“Your daughter deserves more respect than you are giving her. Do not go after the boy.” She shook her head, “You can try to hide such a thing from her, but we both know you cannot lie to that girl. She will find out, and she will _never_ forgive you.”

It all pointed back to the same answer: Even if she hated him, at least she would be alive.

“Armitage... I am not sure I could forgive you either.”

He looked at her. It felt like a slap, considering what she had done to him barely a week prior.

She struggled to speak. “It is not… you… Armitage, you are not that man any more. If you return to your old ways… that is not the man I have committed myself to.”

He tapped the dead bit of his cigarette over the edge, “Since when have you committed yourself to me?”

She looked hurt by the question.

He was slightly confused – he meant it legitimately, without any malice. Neither of them had ever made a commitment to the other.

She pushed up to her feet and turned to go back to the ship, “You are smarter than this Armitage.”

He watched her walk back onto the ship, hoping he’d still be able to get into their bedroom after the comment. He finished off the remainder of his cigarette, thinking over their situation with a fine toothed comb, and then lit another. This was worth some thought.

He was almost half done with his cigarette when Ren’s voice made him jump. “So do you have a plan?”

He imagined it must have been near midnight, if not past.

He glared at Ren, “Don’t do that. Not when I’m on the ledge of a cliff.”

Ren shrugged. Probably thought he would have deserved that as well. “Well? Do you?”

“Do _you_ have a plan? It’s not just mine that need protecting in this situation…”

Ren looked bored as he spoke. “Of course I have a plan. But Mika hates it, as I’m sure Cerys and Mila will. He’s decently strong with the Force… but not well trained in combat, as far as I can tell. It wouldn’t be a problem to eliminate him.” Ren paused. “Mika tells me Cerys is friends with him.”

“She is.”

Ren frowned, his dark eyes scanning over the city, “Then it is not worth killing him.”

“You’ve deduced that already?”

Ren sighed, “You’re not one for emotions, General.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Hux, then. What he did to you earlier… that was a good display of restraint.”

“Restraint? You’re joking, right?”

Ren frowned, shaking his head, “No, not at all. He could have very easily killed you, and from what I sensed he could have done it before I would have had time to react. He was certainly well motivated enough. But he didn’t – he was deliberately holding back. I think because of her.” He paused again. “If he didn’t kill you then, he most likely won’t tell anyone where you are. That sort of anger – if he was going to kill you he would want to do it himself.”

Hux inhaled deeply. “He’s stuck on this island, correct? There won’t be any way for him to leave until people start waking up?”

Ren shook his head, “Not unless he steals someone’s ship, and even then there’s very few on the island.”

“He won’t do that,” Hux looked over the city, trying to calculate where he might be. “He’s a good kid.” He pushed up to his feet and flicked the remainder of his cigarette into the ocean below. “I need to speak with him before we do anything rash.”

“Speak with him?” Ren asked flatly, like he didn’t understand how that might help the situation.

“Yes, yes… He’s had some time to cool down. And I would prefer to not entirely alienate my daughter if I don’t have to. But…” He glanced at Ren. “If he doesn’t respond well, I will need your assistance.”

Hux had seen Ren use the Force on an unfair number of his subordinates while they were with the Order, but he’d never actually had the gall to attack Hux. He’d always been well aware that Force users could very easily overpower others, however being on the receiving end of Iz’s little tantrum was a bit of an eye-opening experience. He didn’t doubt that if it came down to it, he could easily outsmart the boy. But at the moment, he didn’t have time to develop much of a backup plan. The sun would rise in a couple of hours and he still needed to locate the boy. If things turned sour, brute force would be his only option.

Ren had always been rather handy for that.

He waved out over the city, “Can’t you… sense each other or something like that? Where is he?”

Ren looked insulted. Hux meant it to be; he was a bit glad his insinuation came across clearly.

“Yes, of course I can. How else would I have found the five of you wandering all over this damned planet?”

“Impressive. So where is he?”

“It’s slightly more difficult when he’s not using the Force.” Ren frowned.

 _Well then what good are you?_ He wanted to snap at Ren, but didn’t.

He pointed off to a less populated section of the island, “He’s somewhere over there. It’s mostly docks and fishers residing there… He’s probably planning on leaving the island by boat as soon as they’re awake.”

Hux frowned. “I suppose that’s clever of him. Fishermen leave early, before sunrise. We’ll have to hurry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do this sorta fun thing when I'm writing a story -- I build playlists for the characters and relationships I'm writing. I can't really release the playlists upfront because it'd give away plot points, but I think I'll post the whole thing on [my tumblr](https://virgilvirgilvirgil.tumblr.com/) with the final chapter, if anyone's interested.
> 
> My Mila/Hux playlist has an inordinate amount of Placebo on it. I love it.


	9. Chapter 9

Hux and Ren didn’t really exchange words as they made their way to the docks to track the boy down. It took them nearly 30 minutes to reach the area, and Hux was beginning to get worried they wouldn't find him in time. Ren claimed he could tell they were closer to his location, but they spent nearly an hour meandering through the weighing stations and beached fishing nets with no avail. To make matters worse, it smelled utterly awful.

There were a few dwellings near the docks – Hux noticed their lights starting to turn on, one by one. The fishermen were waking for the day. They were very short on time.

The stars were just barely starting to fade when Hux finally spotted the boy, perched at the end of a bobbing wooden dock with his legs crossed, looking out over the sea. If it were anyone else, Hux may have missed him. But the boy did have a distinctive look. That awful haircut made him easy to spot.

He managed a few steps onto the dock when the boy turned, looking far less than happy when he saw Hux and Ren. He stood quickly.

Hux held his hands up, trying to signal that they meant no harm. It was at least somewhat true. “I’m just here to speak with you…”

Iz raised an eyebrow, “I am sure you’re used to being the smartest person in the room, but I’m not entirely stupid.” He motioned to Ren. “You wouldn’t have brought him if you just wanted to talk.”

“I needed him to help track you down.”

“If that were true, you would have had him tell you where I was and then come here by yourself.”

Hux sighed, waving at Ren, “Will you go away?”

Ren glared at him.

“Just… Go over to that station or something.” He motioned to a weighing station far enough away that Iz wouldn’t feel threatened. “Whatever makes the kid feel better, okay? I just need to talk to him…”

“He could still kill me from there. Very easily.” Iz frowned at him, like he was insulted. Hux supposed he didn’t blame him for that.

“Well what would you prefer I do? Send him back to his home?”

“You’re not sending me anywhere.” Ren said with a stern tone. “I didn’t agree to help you find him just so I could be sent away like…”

“Ren,” Hux cut him off as sharply as possible, “I need to speak with him privately. Go wherever you need to go, okay?” He nodded at Iz, “You’re just going to have to deal with the fact that he’s going to be lurking around.”

Ren was about to object when Hux cut him off again, “I am not asking you for a personal favor, Ren. This is not for either you or I and you know this.”

Ren’s mouth snapped shut and he sauntered off. When he was finally out of earshot, Hux stepped toward Iz, “Like I said, I’m just here to speak with you…” He was suddenly unable to move forward, trapped in Iz’s Force hold again. It was slightly too tight for comfort, but at least he could breathe this time.

Iz looked furious, his dark eyes glowing again, “You will not come near me.”

He nodded. “Right. Right. I understand. Will you let me out of this... whatever it is? It’s going to be a little difficult to…”

Iz dropped him, still glowering furiously. “What could you possibly have to say to me that you think is justified?”

“Cerys explained the situation…”

“Ah, I see, and you have some great, deep felt empathy for me now? Don’t try to sell me on that crap. I don’t believe that for a second.”

Hux frowned. “Maybe it would be best for me to let you speak first. You must have things you’ve wanted to say to me… probably for most of your life. I am willing to listen, and I'll answer any of your questions I can.”

Iz was tight lipped for a moment. “You’re supposed to be dead.”

The boy had no idea how true that was. He was supposed to have died a few times over already, but somehow he was still here. It was a mystery to Hux. “You’re speaking of the explosion that was my officially recorded cause of death? Well… yes, obviously that wasn’t entirely accurate.”

He looked like he expected Hux to talk more.

“Okay… See I was sentenced to be put to death by the New Republic. It’s a rather long story, but shortly after meeting Mila…” He nodded quickly, realizing Iz hadn’t heard her name yet, “That would be Mika’s sister’s name. I guess we’re giving it all away now.”

Iz gave a short nod -- he wanted Hux to get on with the story.

Hux cleared his throat, “Through a series of rather complicated events, I left the Order with Mila and Mika and Ren. The Supreme Leader was rather disappointed with how Ren and I handled the events surrounding the destruction of the Starkiller, and had ordered my crew to execute both Ren and me. Mila and Mika saved us from the Order, but I ended up in the hands of the New Republic. I was due to be executed by them, but Mila and Mika – once again – rescued me from that fate last minute. Mila and her sister are rather… crafty, to say the least. They planted evidence to make it appear that a vigilante had planted bombs on the transport taking me to my execution. So according to the records, yes. I am dead.”

“Hm.” Iz didn’t seem happy with this answer, probably, Hux figured, because he’d much rather see Hux really officially dead. “Where does Cerys come into the picture?”

Hux sighed. Another over-complicated question. “She… Cerys… was with the Republic. It’s really a rather long story…”

“We have time.” He didn’t sound at all inviting when he said it. He was demanding.

“Cerys...” Hux paused. “Wait. How do you know her name?”

“She told me.”

Of course she did. Of course. He rubbed his temple. He'd have to discuss this matter with her. “Well… Cerys’ mother and I… It was an early affair of mine, I was maybe a little older than you at the time. She was married, quite unhappily, and I hated her husband, and so did she.” He paused. “That’s all I really want to say on that matter. She disappeared – as I would find out eleven years later, after she found out she was pregnant. She fled the Order for fear of her husband learning of her infidelity, and went to serve the Resistance. Her mother witnessed my speech on her deathbed, and contacted an old friend of hers – Leia Organa. Organa was sympathetic to Cerys’ unique situation. She kept the information private in hopes to protect her. Cerys is sharp though, even at that young age she pieced the situation together quickly. She insisted on meeting me while I was on death row.”

“They told me I had a visitor – I couldn’t imagine who would possibly come to visit me. This little girl with orange hair entered the room… I thought it was utterly preposterous that they would make me speak with a child. But when she gave me her mother’s name -- Vale Mazelle…” He paused inhaling deeply to loosen up his chest. He could still feel the anxiety that hit him when he realized she was his child. “I knew immediately. And I panicked.”

“To be clear, Cerys chose to leave the New Republic with Mila and Mika. And she was quite explicit in explaining to me that she had left to be with them, not me. She wasn’t very fond of me at the time.” He shook his head, “I hope that is a good enough explanation… None of this really relates to my actions with the Order. I’m not sure why you need to know.”

“It does.” The sky was lighter now, with the sun about to rise. He could see Iz’s face more clearly – he appeared slightly less angry. He was getting used to Hux’s presence. It was exactly what he needed in order to talk to the boy. “It actually explains a great deal, I think.”

Hux didn’t see the correlation, but whatever made the boy feel better. “Is that all then?”

“No.” He cut Hux off quickly, looking a irritated again. “Why did you do it?” Before Hux could open his mouth to answer, he changed his question, “No, no, actually, I’m sure your answer to that will be something political. It’s the wrong question. When you decided to do it, did you think at all of the people… the lives you were destroying?”

He hated questions like this. “Listen… these things…”

“Don’t give me some political canned answer.” Iz scowled at him. “Answer my question with one word.”

“Well… then yes. Yes I did.”

He didn’t appear to like the answer, though had Hux answered no he was fairly certain Iz would have been more upset. The best answer he could give was the honest one.

He huffed. “How do you reconcile those two things in your mind?”

Hux frowned a little. “Honestly? I don’t.” _Have you seen my whiskey collection?_ “I never was able to at the time, and I haven’t been able to since.”

He looked a little surprised by the answer. He cocked his head to the side, squinting at Hux. “Do you regret it?”

Another question Hux hated more than anything. It was the worst of them all. He inhaled deeply, “That is an over-complicated question, more so than you realize.”

“Answer it.”

He watched the boy for a moment. “Let me ask you a question instead: If I were to tell you yes, that I regret my past actions, would that at all change your opinion of me?”

Iz glared at him quietly for a moment, then looked away, blinking. “No. It wouldn’t.”

Hux nodded. “You are slightly less naïve than I thought.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

He shook his head quickly, “If you were to up and forgive me for what I did just because I regret my actions now, I would be horrified of your judgment abilities.” He paused for a moment. “What I did – there is no coming back from it. Ren will speak of a dark presence, of the Supreme Leader’s power, like somehow that fossil was controlling our minds and bodies and influencing us to commit the acts we were able to. Quite honestly, I think that’s a complete farce. We both knew very well what we were doing at the time. The consequences of that are something I have spent – and will spend – the rest of my life dealing with.”

Iz still wasn’t really relaxing – he frowned, an expression that looked oddly misplaced on his usually happy face. “I guess it’s somewhat assuring you’re not trying to pawn off responsibility on others…”

Hux shrugged. It wasn’t something that really occurred to him. He spent his life working to develop the Order, and the Starkiller base for that matter. He wasn’t about to give any responsibility for that to anyone else, even if his prior belief system appeared differently to him in hindsight.

“I’m not going to forgive you, if that’s what you’re looking for here.”

Hux snorted, “Again, your judgment abilities are right, by my account. I didn’t want to speak to you to find forgiveness.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I’m not here for myself -- you heard me say that to Ren. I’m here because of Cerys.”

He looked confused. “What? Did she ask you to find me?”

“No, no, she won’t even speak to me at the moment. She’s been locked in her quarters all evening; Mila’s been the only one able to talk to her. Evidently she’s…” He frowned a little, feeling like it was melodramatic really, “ _devastated_ , by Mila’s account.”

“I have been sleeping right down the hallway from the man who murdered my entire family for two weeks now, and she’s known the entire time. And she never said anything. I don’t see any reason I should…”

Hux cut him off with a hand wave, “Listen… just… listen to what I have to say.”

Iz’s nose twitched, clearly irritated with being cut off.

“Cerys has not, since she made the decision to live with us, had a single friend. That is very much my fault.”

“Well maybe if you let her off that damned little planet…”

Hux shot him an icy glare, “Do _not_ judge the decisions I have had to make to keep her safe. What you’re completely failing to understand is that she, thanks entirely to my prior actions, will now spend her _entire life_ with a target on her back. People are vengeful, if her lineage were to be discovered, there is no doubt in my mind she would suffer for it. So yes, I have kept her confined to that damned little planet. But it keeps her safe.” He shook his head, looking away from the boy. The sun was just starting to peak over the horizon. “I do not know why she chose to come live with us. We explained the situation to her very clearly years ago -- that she would have to be very careful, and that we would have to live somewhere quite secluded, but she insisted she wanted to be with us. I do wonder, very frequently, if she regrets that decision.”

He paused for a moment – Iz had an odd expression on his face that wasn’t quite anger. He wasn’t sure what it was. “Look – I damned myself the day I gave the order to fire that weapon. I am well aware that I do not deserve to even be alive, much less to be… happy.” The word felt almost foreign on his tongue. “But somehow I ended up waking up every morning with this amazing woman who is uniquely dedicated to me and a daughter I never knew I wanted. And the strangest thing about it is that they’re both free to leave at any point -- I certainly haven’t asked either of them for any sort of obligation – but for some reason they both seem to stay. I have no idea why, it’s been a complete mystery to me for years now. But I certainly will not risk the safety of either of them for anything because…” She shook his head, “Because as far as I can tell they’re the only truly good things that ever have been and ever will be in store for me.”

He realized he was ranting and felt like a bit of a fool, but if this was what it took to get his point across he was willing to give it a try. He’d rather not have Ren kill the boy. “I suppose… what I am really trying to say here is that Cerys has been punished enough, and will continue to be punished for her entire life, for the fact that she is my daughter. Don’t… please don’t make it any worse for her.”

Iz didn’t make any response; rather he continued to look at Hux with an implacable expression. Hux folded his arms uncomfortably, feeling like the boy might be trying to look straight through him. “Does that suffice? Have I made my point clear enough?”

“Did you really mean all that?”

Cerys’ voice caught him completely off guard as she moved next to him. She must have arrived sometime during his rant and he completely failed to notice.

She looked at him with big, soft eyes, her head tilted to the side sympathetically. The expression made him weak in the knees – he found himself wishing she hadn’t overheard anything he just said.

She shrugged a little, shaking her head, “For the record, I’ve never regretted choosing to stay with you.” Suddenly, she hugged him. He never quite knew what to do when she did this. “And don’t be ridiculous. You haven’t ruined my life. If anything you saved it. Don’t speak like that… please.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Just… Thank you, okay? For everything you’ve done for me. I don’t think I’ve ever said that. I really can’t imagine anything better than what I have. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

He deflated a little in her embrace. She drew back, a little misty-eyed. He attributed it to lack of sleep and the fact that she had most likely been sobbing over Iz for a few hours. She blinked quickly and glanced to Iz. “Do you mind if I speak with him…”

Hux shook his head, “Not at all.” He turned to give the two privacy and saw Mila standing at the end of the dock, with a very similar expression to Cerys’.

“How… How long have _you_ been here?” He went to her side, hoping she hadn’t heard as much as Cerys had. Judging by her expression, he was out of luck.

She shrugged, “Long enough.”

He looked back to Cerys and Iz, who were speaking quietly at the end of the dock.

“Mila, I…”

She grabbed his collar and pulled his face down to hers, kissing him. “You will never admit it, but you are a good man.”

He didn’t want to argue with her, but he’d forfeited any chance he ever had at being the good guy long ago.

She kissed him again, as if to punctuate her statement. They moved away from the dock, letting Cerys and Iz have their privacy. “How did you two find us?”

“Three.” She nodded to where Ren was standing. Mika was with him. “I woke up about an hour ago and realized you were not in bed.” She frowned. “I assumed the worst. Mika did the same.” She looked at him apologetically, “Cerys was the only one of us that didn’t think you two were going to kill him. She insisted you wouldn’t. I… I am quite happy she was right. And I am sorry to have thought you would.”

He was completely flattered by his daughter’s confidence in him, but it was a little misplaced. As he just said, he wasn’t about to let anything endanger either of them. If he had suspected Iz would tell anyone about him, he wouldn’t have hesitated to have Ren kill him. Thankfully, the boy seemed to understand the danger Cerys would be in if anyone found out she was his daughter.

“You have raised a very good daughter, Armitage.”

“My suspicion is that she is good because I _didn’t_ raise her. It may have been the best thing for her that I found her so late in her childhood.”

Mila frowned at him. “No. You are wrong.”

He shook his head, “If I’m wrong, then all the good parts are because of you, not me.” He paused, “I said something to you awhile ago to the effect that you were not her mother but…”

Mila shook her head quickly. “Let us not speak of that conversation. Things were said by both of us that should not have been said.” She added quickly, “Also, I am not her mother. I have never wanted to be anyone’s mother.”

“I don’t know what she thinks of you as, but I imagine it’s something similar to that.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Eh. No.”

He laughed a little at her reaction, realizing he was quite tired. He slept last cycle… he shouldn’t be tired. All this emotional turmoil had left him mentally exhausted.

 

**

 

Cerys looked like she didn’t quite know what to say. “It may be too little too late, but for what it’s worth I am sorry.”

He shook his head. “No… No I don’t think it’s ever really too late for an apology. It’s just… do you understand? I can’t think of anything worse you could have hid from me…”

He had to look away from her reaction – there was no way he could respond to anything she said fairly when she looked so guilty.

“I don’t want to come across as though I’m making excuses for my behavior, but would you allow me to explain why I didn’t tell you?”

“I’m assuming it’s because you knew I wouldn’t stay.” He didn’t really feel like he needed more of an explanation. He was actually really flattered she liked his company so much, but that didn’t really excuse the behavior.

She sighed, twisting her mouth and pushing her hair back from her face, “Some portion of what my father said is true. When people find out who he is – who I am – it changes things. Considering the situation, I can’t blame anyone for that. But it is… disheartening, to say the least. It makes it difficult to talk to people, much less trust them.”

Hux, Iz reasoned, had been right in the summation of his rant. Cerys was an innocent in this situation. She’d been born into an incredibly difficult life and was due in for an undeserved amount of judgment from others if they found out who she was. “Listen… Cerys… If we’re going to do this whole “friendship” thing… you can’t hide things from me.” He paused. “Especially not things like this, okay?”

Her expression lightened with a hint of a smile, “Really? Are you…”

He couldn’t quite fathom how he’d landed himself in this situation – forming a friendship with the daughter of Armitage Hux. “It’s not your fault he’s your father. It would be wrong of me to judge you for that.” He added quickly, “But I’m serious. Don’t hide things from me. We’re friends. You can trust me.”

She bounced on her toes a little, “Really?”

He couldn’t help but smile at her reaction, “Yeah. Yes, of course. Just please…”

She tackled him with a hug, “Thank you! Thank you so much Iz… I was afraid I’d have to resort to bribing you with food.”

He returned the gesture, hugging her tightly. “That would have been a solid second plan…”

“Speaking of which,” She dropped away from him smiling, “Will you stay? Just one more day… we’re celebrating tonight and it would feel wrong if you weren’t there.”

He hesitated, glancing to her father. It was a difficult situation to say the least. “Cerys… I can’t just… It’s easy for me to forgive you. But I cannot forgive him.”

She nodded, “I know. I wouldn’t expect you to, and honestly I don’t think he does either. Knowing my father,” she looked to him quickly and then back to Iz, “he’s probably going to make a point to avoid you as much as possible.” She shrugged, “I know I would like you there, and so would both Mila and Mika.”

His chest felt like it was being wrenched in two. On one hand, looking at Hux made him irrationally angry. On the other, he was very fond of this little family and was oddly flattered that they’d welcomed him so easily. He sighed, “I guess… yes, yes I’ll stay one more day. Just… I can’t be around him. Is that fair?”

She smiled at him, nodding, “Absolutely. Thank you.” She bounced again, “Really, Iz. Thank you.”


	10. Chapter 10

Mila sent Iz and Cerys into town to get supplies from the market, claiming they’d be able to find the best stuff since they would probably be the first ones there. When they returned to Ren’s home, Iz was very thankful that Hux was nowhere to be seen. They unloaded their finds into Ren’s kitchen, which was smaller than the one aboard the ship and didn’t look like it’d been used in ages.

Mika was fast asleep on a sofa in a patch of sunlight, and Cerys looked very tired.

“You can use the spare bedroom,” Ren offered. “It’s upstairs. I think your father and Mila are catching up on sleep in the ship.”

“Oh.” She looked at Iz, “Are you going to want a nap?”

He shook his head, happy that she was considerate enough to realize that if he did, he wouldn’t want to sleep on the same ship as Hux. “No. I’m actually not too tired.”

She nodded, “I should only need an hour or so.”

He didn’t really believe that. She looked exhausted.

She disappeared up the creaky wooden stairs, leaving him with Ren. It hadn’t occurred to him that it might be awkward until she was gone.

Ren looked at him for a moment. “Our intentions were not to kill you, just so you know.”

Iz couldn’t think of a worse way to start off their conversation. Further, he wasn’t sure he believed Ren. “Er… yeah.”

Ren shrugged, “Not unless we had to, at least. Hux was trying to avoid it at all costs.”

Iz blinked at him. “Yeah. That’s good, I guess.”

Ren scratched his head, like he didn’t quite know what to say. “You haven’t had much training have you? It shows.”

He wondered if this conversation was just going to keep getting worse. “Eh… no, not much.” He paused. “Is it that bad?”

 “No, no, I was actually impressed with your abilities when you lost it on Hux the other night…”

 “It’s not that difficult to Force throw a person.”

“No, it’s not. But you could have very easily killed him. You were motivated to. It was more the show of restraint…” He shrugged. “It took me a very, very long time to learn that. I’m still not that practiced with it. There is something to be said for being able to regulate your emotions like that.”

Iz nodded a little, starting to see what Ren was saying. He was actually, in his own odd way, complimenting Iz. Ren had famously struggled with slipping to the Dark Side. He was impressed with the fact that in such an extreme situation, Iz was able to keep hold of something light. “Er… Thanks.”

Ren looked like he had something else to say, but couldn’t quite say it.

Iz looked around. “You have a nice home. Mika has never been here before?”

He shook his head, glancing to the fast asleep woman. “No. I’ve tried to convince her to move here but… she hasn’t been interested in leaving her current home.”

“Really? Does she like it here, now that she’s visited?”

He nodded, still watching her. “She seems to. I don’t know.” He sighed a little, “Everything is changing. She needs to be somewhere familiar. Getting used to the layout of a new home while she’s carrying a child… I don’t know. It would be too much.”

He smiled at Mika, “I don’t know… she seems very self sufficient to me. Honestly, I think you all underestimate her. I couldn’t even tell she was blind until Mila told me.”

“It’s harder for her than she lets on. She doesn’t like the sympathy, so she acts like she’s completely in control of the situation. But she struggles.” Ren frowned deeply, “I don’t know… with a child…”

“That’s what she has you for though? Right?”

Ren actually let out something that sounded like a laugh, chased with panic. “Yeah. Yeah.”

Iz couldn’t hide his grin. It was too comical to see Kylo Ren – quite possibly the strongest and most feared Force user alive – nearly hyperventilating over the thought that he was about to become a father. “You’re nervous, hm?”

Ren looked at him with an eyebrow raised, like he didn’t expect the joking tone from Iz. “Of course I am. I never had plans for this. I am completely, wholly unsuited to be a father.”

Iz shrugged, “I think most people think that.”

“You have no idea.”

“She will make a fantastic mother. You at least have to admit that.”

Ren looked at her quietly for a moment. “She will. She absolutely will. I am just lucky enough that it should be her having my child.”

Iz turned his attention to the window. The sky was clear and perfect and he’d much rather be out there than in this little house at the moment. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to be outside for awhile...” He turned to leave.

“Iz…” Ren paused when he looked at him. “It doesn’t excuse prior actions in any form, but that man…” He motioned out the window to the ship Hux and Mila are resting aboard, “That is not the General that I knew all those years ago.”

Iz frowned a little at the comment.

Ren waved a hand, “Like I said, it doesn’t excuse anything. And trust me; I’d be the last to defend Hux. But… he has changed. You aren’t talking to the same person that fired that weapon. He found something… something light. It changed him.” Ren paused and frowned. “He’s still a pretentious ass, don’t get me wrong.”

Iz nodded slowly and left without really responding.

 

He wasn’t sure how Cerys figured out he was on the roof, but when her head poked up from the ledge he helped her all the way up.

“What are you doing up here?”

He shrugged. The honest truth was that he thought it was the only spot he couldn’t possibly run into her father. “Just looking. It’s a nice view.”

She looked out over the little village, “It really is. I was a little surprised when I saw this place, knowing that it was owned by his mother. I mean… considering who she is and all. I would have thought she’d want something more…”

“Regal?”

“Yes, that’s exactly it. But… seeing it like this, in the daylight… I can see why she wanted a home here.”

“Hm. There is something to be said for this sort of lifestyle, living on an island. It makes you slow down. I’m sure that’s what she wanted. Have I ever told you I grew up on an island? I mean – with my family. Before I went off for training.”

“Oh? No, you never did tell me.”

He nodded, “It was a bigger island than this… large enough for a few small villages and one major city. We lived away from all of it, in a little house right by the sea.” He smiled, remembering the little home he left all those years ago. “It was a good place to grow up. Lots of swimming and exploring and sunny days like this.”

“Do you miss it?”

He didn’t respond right away, considering. “I can’t tell if I miss the lifestyle or if I just miss the memories. It’s difficult to tell.”

They were both quiet for a moment.

“We’re working on making food…”

“I know. I can smell it.”

She laughed at him. “I wanted to…” Her smile dropped a little, “I wanted to make sure you would be okay at eating with us.”

It was a fantastic question. He’d been asking himself the same thing for hours now. He didn’t have an answer.

“If you’d rather, we can eat somewhere else… I could bring food up here…”

The thought was actually really nice. Sitting on the roof under the stars, eating with her.

“… But that may also be a little…” She shrugged, “I don’t know.”

He shook his head, laughing, “This is for Ren and Mika, what sort of a guest would I be if I sat up here and ate without them? No, I’ll be fine.” He paused. “But thank you for asking.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

 

The sun was just starting to set, and the food smelled amazing wafting up from the house below him. He was very hungry.

Cerys had made her way to the roof a few times to visit him over the course of the day, leaving frequently to check on dishes and help Mila and Mika.

He heard someone scraping at the side and went to help her up, only to realize it was Ren trying to get on the roof. He pulled himself up without any help from Iz.

Iz wondered what he could possibly want. “Uh… hey.”

“You’ve been up here all day?” Ren looked around, “How are you not bored?”

He shrugged. “I have things to think about.” He felt like he shouldn’t have to point that out to Ren. Or anyone, for that matter.

“Oh… yes. Well.” He inhaled, his eyes caught on the view of the village. “You haven’t met many other Force users, have you?”

“Hm? No, not really. We’re not entirely common. Though it is odd, it finds a way to draw us together, somehow.”

Ren nodded knowingly. “Cerys told me you never finished your training?”

“No… life just sort of… got in the way. I only had a few years of training. I guess I’m mostly… self-taught.”

He sat next to Iz, scratching his head, “That must have been difficult. There’s not many texts out there… most of that information was destroyed by the Empire.”

“Mm. Yes, but I found what I could. And there’s more than just texts, there’s old temples, and relics, and even a few very old people that have information to share.”

“Hm.” Ren was quiet for a moment, then popped up to his feet. “Follow me.”

Without anything else, he disappeared over the ledge. Iz shrugged to himself and followed after.

They went back inside through a second-story window and made their way down the creaky stairs. The house was bursting with food smells, which made him even hungrier. Mila and Mika could be heard arguing about the timing of a certain dish in the kitchen, with Cerys trying to play moderator. They didn’t go to the kitchen, but rather to a room on the far end of the hallway. When Ren opened the door, Iz could see it was a study, packed to the ceiling with books and documents.

It was a beautiful little study, with a big wooden desk facing out a large window that looked out onto the city. Evidently, he thought, Leia Organa had fantastic taste.

Ren stepped in and turned to him, “This was my mother’s collection… Not all of it is Force related. A good deal of it is historical and military texts. But there is some stuff…” He walked over to a corner shelf, “This section is mostly Force-related. I use them from time-to-time, but really it’s underutilized. You’re welcome to look through any of it.”

“Oh…” The gesture was completely unexpected. “Really?”

Ren looked like he didn’t want to repeat himself. “Yes, yes, of course. They’re just sitting here. Many of them haven’t been opened in years.”

He went to the shelf and looked at the books, feeling like he was getting a glimpse into something almost sacred… not only the texts that probably couldn’t be found anywhere else in the galaxy, but ones that belonged to Organa. It was a little overwhelming. “Thank you. Really…” He pulled an old leather-bound book from the shelf and thumbed through it. “Really. This is amazing.”

When Ren didn’t respond, he glanced up from the book. Ren was watching out the window, a critical look on his face.

Iz looked out and saw a very large ship, on the edge of the village in a wide valley area. It looked like it could house… maybe 40 or 50 people?

“Is that… normal? Is there a fueling station here?”

Ren shook his head. “No.” He paused then added quickly, “I suppose this is one of the few larger islands. They’re probably stopping here for supplies.”

He could tell by Ren’s expression he didn’t really believe what he was saying.

“You can stay in here as long as you like.” He turned to leave, then stopped. “Just… be careful.” It came across as a threat more than a cautionary word. He disappeared out the door and Iz went back to the shelf, wondering where he should start. There were too many books and far too little time.

 

**

 

“You’re hiding.” Hux almost jumped at her voice – he hadn’t heard her enter the cockpit for some odd reason. He was lost in his own thoughts, thinking over the events of the past day.

He blinked at Mila. “Excuse me?”

She smirked and sat herself across his legs. “You are hiding from Iz.”

There was some truth in that. “I think the boy is going to have a much better time if I’m not hovering around. It may be best for both of us.”

Mila snorted, rolling her eyes, “The boy… you keep calling him that. You were barely older than him when Cerys was born.”

“Biology doesn’t have anything to do with it…”

She smiled, shaking her head at him. “You did a good thing today.”

“Did I?”

“Yes. You made your daughter very happy.” She tilted her head, “And me.”

“Well… I suppose that’s good.” It was really his only goal.

She brushed her lips on his cheekbone, and then reclined back over the armrest, her legs across him. “I have been thinking about what you said to Iz.”

“Hm? What part?” He still wasn't entirely sure how much of his rant she’d actually heard.

“You have never asked a commitment of me.”

“I haven’t. It seems… wrong.”

She ran her fingertips over his hand, “What is wrong about it?”

He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it, “You deserve much better than to be hidden away on some backwaters planet. I don’t want you to feel obligated to stay.”

“Hm… you do not want your fate to decide mine?”

He frowned a little. “I’ve never really been one for fate, but yes, that is basically what I’m saying.”

She played her fingers across his hand again. “Would you let my fate decide yours?”

“Hm? I don’t know, Mila. Like I said, I’ve never believed in the concept of fate.”

“Then let me say it another way – If I were to make the decision, to be committed, would that be… acceptable to you?”

“You do make that decision. You have for years now. I still can’t understand why…”

She drew his hand to her lips and kissed it. He could feel her smiling against it. She laughed. “I think I cannot find the right words… Let me try again.” She kissed his hand again, taking her time, searching for words. “If I were to ask you to commit yourself to me, would you?”

She looked up at him, her lips hidden behind is hand, hiding her smile. She looked a little red.

He blinked at her. “Of c… Oh.”

The corners of her eyes wrinkled with her hidden, nervous smile.

“Oh. You’re asking if…” His stomach lurched a little. Marriage... that was certainly not anything he ever thought he’d have to deal with. He’d always viewed it as a waste of time and energy, more than anything. But then, he’d had to deal with having a child thrown into his life… it wasn’t the first time everything he had imagined for himself had been turned on its head.

“Are you sure?”

She dropped his hand from her mouth, her smile suddenly gone. “Of course I am sure! How do you ask such a thing?!”

“It’s just… you know what you’re getting into? I can’t give you anything that looks like normalcy…”

“I have never wanted anything normal in my entire life.”

“And… well it’s not entirely common where you’re from, is it?”

“No. What does that have to do with anything? I am not the culture that I was raised in. Nor are you.”

He looked at her silently for a moment. She meant everything she said.

She turned a slightly darker shade of pink, “Well? Would you?”

He shook his head, “Yes. Yes, of course I would, Mila. I…”

He couldn’t finish his sentence before she flung herself at him, stopping his mouth with her lips. “Good. Good.” She pulled his face closer with both hands, kissing him more. “You are good.”

She pecked at his lips in an almost giddy way until he pulled her in, holding her close while he kissed her deeply. She was still smiling when he let her go.

“I’m afraid I don’t know how to do this…” He kissed her smile, “Am I supposed to get you something?”

“Mm. I want nothing from you but your heart, for the rest of your life.”

He kissed her again.

“Your daughter will be quite happy.”

“Hm? You didn’t discuss this with her?”

“No. I have spoken of it to nobody. My sister does not know. Just us. For now.” She smiled, “This time is for my sister, and her baby.” She leaned in and kissed him again, “This will be our secret, for now. We should tell Cerys though. You should, really. She would want to know.” She squinted, “She is much like you.”

“Mm. When do you want to tell her?”

“After tonight?”

He nodded. That sounded fair.

Mila gave him one last kiss, almost shoving him back into the chair. She smirked a little and stood from him, “Food will be ready soon.”

He watched her stretch before the viewport for a moment, admiring every bit of her. He didn’t understand how he ended up with something so… special.

“Ren disappeared… will you help us put everything out?”

This was precisely what worried him about Ren and Mika having a child… He almost wanted to laugh at the irony. “Yes, of course.” He stood, “What do you need?”

She shrugged, “Come with me to the kitchen. Iz is busy in Ren’s study, he won’t be around.”

He looked at the house. It felt wrong to go in there, but Ren was gone. He’d never know. And Hux would only be in there briefly.

He kissed her again just before they stepped off the ship. He wanted to say something to her, but couldn’t quite place what exactly it was he wanted to say.

When he replayed the next events in his mind, which he did countless times in the years to come, there were two things that stuck with him: One, the noise, or lack thereof, and two, the fact that he couldn’t just say what he meant to: that he loved her, with every fiber of his being.

It was like a whistle, nearly inaudible. He almost didn’t think anything of it until he heard the soft thud behind him.

He looked back to her. She was there a second ago. Now she wasn’t.

He looked to the ground.

And suddenly, it was like a war zone.

Most people in the Order chose to believe he had used his father’s influence to get out of most of the regular duties of an officer, but that had been far from the truth. Hux had, in fact, been in a war zone before. It was rather nasty business and served as magnificent motivation for him to work his way up in rank quickly, but he had seen the gunfire and chaos that was war.

This was far, far too similar to that. He dropped, taking refuge behind the ramp of their ship, just in time to avoid the barrage of gunfire. Mila was just out of reach.

And just as quickly as it started, it stopped. The silence was deathly.

He realized there was a pair of legs just to the side of the ramp. Iz’s legs. His hand was outstretched, his eyes so dark the whites were barely visible.

He looked at Mila. She was crumpled awkwardly on her side, a pool of red forming around her.

He scrambled to her side, pulling her onto his lap to get a look at her… it was like someone squeezed the air from his lungs.

Iz, for some reason, was at his side, on his knees. Cursing, he covered her face with his two hands.

He wanted to shove the boy away, but he was feeling incredibly dizzy. He snapped at him, “Don’t touch her! What are you doing…”

The boy’s ferocious snarl cut him off, “ _I’m helping_ , you prick.” He glared at Hux with pitch black eyes, and then turned his focus back to her.

Hux was about to ask how the hell holding his hands over her face… or whatever was left of it… was going to help, but then noticed something odd happening to the flesh he could just see through Iz’s spread hands. The ragged edges were smoothing, healing right before his eyes.

This must have been a Force thing.

He watched quietly, as the flesh under Iz’s hands started to take shape once more. This Force thing… he’d never quite bought it. He knew it worked. He’d seen Ren use it. Iz had used it on him. He could see it having some effect right now. But for it to do what Iz is trying to make it do…

“Come on… Work… Please… Please just work…” The boy appeared deeply focused, pleading with someone or something that Hux was entirely unfamiliar with. He looked strained, like this was a terribly difficult endeavor.

Hux wasn’t sure how long they were there. It seemed like a very, very long time. The flesh stopped showing signs of repair. Iz cursed.


	11. Chapter 11

Iz’s arms ached and his head grew incredibly heavy, but he kept focused on Mila. He tried to get to her… to cover her before Hux could see, but hadn’t quite succeeded. She was in awful condition. He would have been more than happy to go his entire life without seeing something so terrible.

Next to him, Hux watched his hands, looking completely dumbstruck. Or rather, he was probably not watching Iz’s hands. He was watching Mila. He shouldn’t see her like this, but Iz needed to focus on her at the moment… Hux could wait.

He could feel the efficacy slow at a maddening rate, until it came to a complete stop. He cursed. Maybe… If he just put forth a little more effort…

Hux put a hand on his shoulder. He looked at Iz with the most defeated, hollow expression. He shook his head.

It was over. Hux knew. He wasn’t taking it well, but he knew. He looked back down at Mila.

“Hey…” The man didn’t hear him. Or maybe he did and didn’t realize Iz was speaking to him. “Hey…” He shoved his shoulder just enough to get his attention, but not too hard. He felt like he might knock him over if he tried too hard. “Hey. Don’t look at her.”

Hux didn’t budge.

He waved a hand in front of his face, shifting his other hand to cover as much of her as he could. “Hey. Look at me. Don’t look at her.”

It worked – Hux turned his eyes up to Iz. He looked completely, disturbingly empty.

Iz breathed heavily, like he’d just completed some sort of physical training. He was very tired. “Good. Keep your eyes up here.” He tore the scarf from his neck and placed it over her head, falling back to a seated position. He felt like he could have just fallen all the way back and taken a nap right there. He wasn’t even sure he could stand.

Hux blinked at him a few times, then stood, carefully moving her head from his lap onto the ground. He drifted back onto their ship.

“Dad! Iz!” Cerys burst through the front door of Ren’s home, sliding to an abrupt stop when she saw her father walking onto the ship.

She looked confused, and then noticed Iz -- and Mila. Her mouth dropped open, “Oh…”

Iz shook his head quickly, “Go to him. Go.”

She ran onto the ship, after her father. Iz followed after slowly. Hux almost made it to the hallway before Cerys stopped him. He leaned against the wall heavily, shaking his head, somehow looking smaller than her. She put her hands on his face, blinking back tears.

Iz was not exaggerating when he said if Hux weren’t her father he’d have killed him. He absolutely would have, and he wouldn’t have regretted it. But when the man fell to his knees, his hands gripping his daughter’s arms for support, Iz felt the most confusing pang of sympathy for him.

Cerys knelt with him, folding him into her arms tightly and letting him bury his face in her shoulder.

Iz leaned against the doorway for support. He was exhausted. He needed to rest soon.

Outside, there were suddenly several voices shouting. He stepped forward heavily, bracing himself. Had the shooters already made their way to the ship? He didn’t have much energy left to fight anyone off.

Another ship, capable of holding 5 or 6 people, landed on what little space was left on Ren’s perch. There was a small group of uniformed troopers outside. One pointed off to the tall, rocky ledge, giving orders to the others. The ones taking orders trotted off and the leader turned to their ship, blaster drawn.

He shrunk back. _Fuck. How am I going to manage this?_   Cerys and Hux had thankfully moved out of sight, down the hallway for privacy.

He was about to Force throw the man’s blaster as far away as possible when the trooper stopped at the end of the ramp and put the blaster away. He held his hands up, “Is everyone okay in there?”

Iz didn’t even know how to answer that. He tried to gather himself as much as possible, “Who are you with?”

The man pulled off his helmet. He was young, probably a little older than Iz, and very tall. “Isn’t that a bit irrelevant at the moment? Are there others in there? Do you need help?” He nodded to Mila, lying next to the ramp. “I’m sorry to see you’ve lost one.”

_Yes. Yes please, oh god do we need help._

“Who are you with?” Iz wasn’t about to let the man aboard until he could cough up some answers.

“I’m with a small organization, you may have seen our ship… it’s the large one near the village down there.” He seemed well meaning, but Iz was so exhausted he was having trouble trusting his instincts. “We didn’t fire on you – my suspicion is the person we’ve been tracking was the one who attacked you. If you need help we have medical supplies...”

“Iz! Iz come here I need your help!”

He didn’t really care to let the man finish his sentence when Cerys called out for him. He went to her quickly. Her father was still on his knees, leaning on her for support.

Cerys looked worried. “His shoulder… I think he was hit…” She hesitated, “Will you help him? Please?”

He was caught off guard that she thought she needed to ask. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.” He went to Hux’s front and saw a small hole in his shirt, near the joint where his arm and shoulder met. His shirt was soaked with blood in the area. There was no exit wound – the bullet was still lodged in there. He put his hand over the wound, glancing to the vacant man. “This won’t feel good.”

He realized it was an incredibly ironic thing to say to Hux at the moment. The man made no response.

Focusing on the bullet, he used the Force to remove it as carefully as possible. It must have been incredibly painful, but Hux didn’t even flinch.

Iz felt even weaker as he healed off the wound. He fell back to his seat when he finished and looked at Cerys. Still holding her father, she mouthed a quiet, “Thank you.”

He was very tired.

 

**

 

Cohren wasn’t the type to intrude where he wasn’t welcome, but when he heard the second person inside the ship call out for help, he realized he might do more harm than good by trying to convince the man at the top of the ramp that he was there to help them.

He wasn’t sure what to make of the guy with the strange pants. He was on the defensive, though he couldn’t be blamed for that. The area was littered with bullet holes, and one of their people was lying dead in the grass – she’d taken a bullet to the skull. He looked tired, worn out like he just went through something incredibly physically taxing.

The man’s stone-faced expression dropped when he heard the voice from inside the ship. He disappeared inside, ignoring Cohren's attempt to convince him they really didn't mean harm.

It was evident these people needed help right away. He didn’t have the time to talk it out and try to convince them he meant no harm, he just needed to take action and prove it. He stepped inside after the man. He could hear the voice – a female – and the voice of the man he was just speaking with.

“Help… Help him please…”

He followed the voices to a hallway, where the black haired man was kneeling next to a young woman with orange hair and a second man, also with orange hair, was hunched into her arms. He took a guess that the older one must be the girl’s father.

“This won’t feel good.” The black haired man put a hand on the other man’s shoulder, closing his eyes. He jerked a little, opened his eyes, and pulled his hand away to toss a bullet fragment. He then put his hand on the same spot, and closed his eyes again… and then opened them, bleary and half closed, and fell completely over. He was passed out cold.

“Oh… Iz!” The poor girl looked terribly worried and confused. The man in her arms was clearly not entirely mentally present, and the other just randomly passed out.

He decided it was probably the right time to intervene, though there was no good way to break the ice in this situation. He went around the corner, with his hands up to show he meant no harm. “Hey… Do you need help?”

She looked completely startled, her mouth hanging open. No doubt she was scared out of her mind.

The man she was holding turned slightly, glaring at him with the most cutting, icy look he’d ever received. Something about him was oddly familiar.

“I’m here to help, okay?” He nodded to the unconscious one, “Is he injured?”

“No… at least I don’t think so…”

“Who are you?” The man cut her off, rising to his feet. He seemed to have shaken off his stupor, likely in a last-ditch effort to protect the girl. He looked wildly intimidating for a man with such a slight build.

“My name is Cohren. Cohren Phasma. Please, trust me. I’m just here to help.”

His expression suddenly changed, his mouth dropping open a little. He shook his head. “Cerys, you can trust him.” He looked at his hands. They were stained red with blood – Cohren couldn’t be sure if it was from him or someone else. The older man suddenly seemed completely vacant again. “I need to… I need to wash my hands.”

He drifted away from them, down the hallway. The girl watched after him, then turned to Cohren, looking so confused and desperate he felt bad for her. “Who exactly are you? Why does he trust you?”

“Is that your father? Was he in the First Order?” Something about the way the man carried himself, even in spite of whatever had traumatized him so much, said he was ex-military.

The girl looked at him, blinking quickly. She didn’t respond. He didn’t really blame her – admitting to having been in the Order was dangerous in most circles. “Don’t worry, my mother was in the Order. A lot of older members recognize my last name.” He went to the unconscious one and checked his pulse, “I think your friend is okay… he just seems fatigued.”

“Er… yes.” Her hand dug into her mess of orange hair, a bewildered expression on her face. She shook her head quickly.

“Is this everyone in your group? Is everyone accounted for?”

“Um…” Her hand flew over her mouth, “Oh god. Mika.” She took off past him, out of the ship, calling for the missing person. He hurried  after her – he hadn’t yet got word from his troopers that they’d caught the shooter. He was still out there, so they needed to be careful. He followed her into the house. She made it just inside before she stopped in the family room. “No no no no…”

There was another woman on the floor, bleeding. The girl dropped to her knees next to her. “No no no no…”

Cohren checked her pulse quickly… she was still there. “She’s alive, but her pulse is weak. We need to get her to a medic right away…”

“How could I have… No no no no this can’t be happening…” The poor girl sounded like she was about to break down.

He put a hand on her shoulder, “Hey… It's Cerys, right? I need your help.” He glanced to the bleeding woman. “She needs your help. Can you keep it together for about 15 minutes?”

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, and when her eyes opened again she seemed almost like an entirely different person. Sharp, focused, in control. “Yes. Yes, Mika needs a medic.”

“I’m here on a large ship, it’s near the village. We have medics.” He did his best to put pressure on the woman’s wound and picked her up, as carefully as possible. “I can fly your ship.”

They hurried back to the ship and he laid the woman down and went to the cockpit. She went to the back to check on her father. They were short on time – Mika, the bleeding one, was barely hanging on.

Luckily, he was a pretty good pilot.

 

**

 

“Father?” She paused when she saw him hunched over the sink in his quarters, gripping the sides of it and watching the water run freely down the drain. He didn’t react to her.

She touched his arm, “Hey…”

Her touch drew him back to some sort of reality. He blinked at her. She pulled his arm, “Come on, I need you to sit. We’re about to take off.” She almost blurted out that Mika was hurt and needed help, but thought better of it. He clearly had enough on his mind.

He followed effortlessly as she pushed him into a chair. He looked at his hands, “It won’t… it won’t wash off.”

They were now a lighter shade of red. It was heartbreaking – she’d never known her father to be this unfocused. She pulled his hands into hers, like maybe she could hide them. “I'm sorry… I’m so sorry…”

The ship suddenly lurched; she was certain it was the sharpest takeoff she’d ever felt. Armitage blinked in reaction.

“We’re going to get help, okay? That man -- Cohren -- he’s flying the ship. We’ll be there soon.”

She could tell he understood what she said, at least. His eyes showed the faintest signs of understanding.

“Will you stay here? Please? I need to go out there…”

He shook his head quickly, “I… don’t think I can leave this room.”

She squeezed his hands. “Okay. That’s okay. I’ll be back soon.”

She hurried out of the room. Iz and Mika were safely resting on cushioned seating areas, though Mika was still bleeding badly. She couldn’t quite fathom how she forgot to look for Mika… Somehow with her father, and Mila… it had just slipped her mind.

She shook Iz, hoping he would wake up. He could help Mika. He would still be awake to help Mika if she hadn’t requested he heal her father. Armitage’s injury hadn’t been fatal. He would have been fine to wait until they got him to a medic.

Cerys couldn’t figure out how she’d ever be able to forgive herself for the lapse in judgment.

She felt the ship start to lower and Cohren stepped out of the cockpit. “Medics will be waiting.”

She punched in the code to open the door; it just finished opening as they touched down. Several people rushed aboard, with stretchers. Mika immediately got attention from multiple medics. They carted the two off, and just as quickly as it filled the ship was empty again.

He looked at her with a great amount of concern. She must have looked as worried as she felt.

“I hate to leave, I know you have a lot on your mind right now, but I need to go help my troopers track down the person that did this. Your companions were taken to the med bay, anyone here will point you in the right direction if you ask.” He paused. “If I can make a suggestion, you may want to take him there as well.” He nodded to the back of the ship.

“Ah… yes. Yes, thank you.”

“I’ll come find you as soon as I’ve taken care of whoever did this. You should know… you’re not alone here. Most of our crew is ex Order. If your father is, you all are more than welcome here. You’re safe. There may even be people here that know him.”

Cerys went cold at the suggestion. The last thing she needed was someone recognizing her father.

He frowned at her. “You look very pale, are you going to be okay? Should I have someone from the med bay come see you?”

“No… thank you. I’m okay. I just…”

“Was your father stationed on the Starkiller Base? He must have been if he recognized my last name.”

She didn’t know what to do. She’d kept her father’s identity under wraps her entire life – the matter had been stressed to her so heavily as a child. Cohren seemed kind, he seemed like the sort of person she should trust, but then there were likely those in the Order who at least partially blamed her father for the fall of the organization. She wanted to trust him, but the matter was so sensitive she wasn’t really sure she could trust anyone.

“What did your mother do on the Starkiller?”

“She oversaw training of troopers. She was one of the highest ranking people there. You can trust us, you are safe here.” He looked at her, even more concerned.

No doubt his mother would know exactly who her father was. She needed to tread carefully.

“Oh.” It was the only thing she could think to say that wasn’t completely suspicious.

Cohren looked at her for a moment, then turned to leave. “I will be back soon, okay? I’ll come find you.”

 

**

 

Cohren’s mother was respectably professional around him when at work. She’d done a magnificent job, he thought, of disregarding their relation in professional settings, and treating him the same as she treated everyone else. She was waiting for him at the bottom of the ship’s ramp, standing straight, her white-blonde hair pushed back neatly and a blaster strapped to her hip.

She nodded at him. “Status report?”

“The others are out searching for the shooter, I expect a status update soon.”

She raised an eyebrow in the sort of way that made him cower as a child. “Why are you not out there with your troopers?” This, he knew, was the real reason she was there. She shook her head; she was disappointed with his judgment. “Let them know right away that the individual we thought was under attack is safe. He actually appeared at our ship moments after you left. I haven’t had time to get a message out to you.”

“I fully intend on joining their search right away. There was a group of people who had been injured by the shooter. A few of them needed medical attention very urgently. I felt it was best to bring them here, and then join my troopers. Kylo Ren is here?”

“Yes, he’s here,” His mother looked irritated. “Nearly took out 6 of our crew before he recognized me. He’s highly concerned about an individual that would have been in the area of the gunfire. A woman in her thirties?”

“Yes…” This could turn very bad, very fast. Kylo Ren's temper was infamous among those who had worked with him. “There were two. One is here, in the med bay with a bullet wound. I was told her name is Mika. The other was fatally wounded, she’s still at the house.”

Her lips tightened. “Oh.” She shook her head, “Oh… this will not go over well. This Mika is the one he’s looking for, thankfully. I’ll have to go find him. You need to join your troopers.”

“Absolutely. You may want to know – there are a few left aboard the ship. A father and daughter – the one that was fatally shot may be the mother. The father is ex Order, he knew your name. They’re both very distressed, the man seems quite traumatized from the loss of the woman, and the girl is very cautious to give out any personal information.”

“Oh? That is good to know.” She glanced up into the ship. “I’ll see to it that they both know they’re safe here.”

Cohren hesitated to leave. “Let me introduce you to the girl. She’s so uneasy I don’t know she’ll trust who you are.”

His mother nodded. “Yes, then let’s be quick. You have important places to be.”

They both made their way back onto the ship. The girl was seated with her head in her hands.

“Cerys?”

She jumped at the sound of his voice – she hadn’t even heard the two of them entering the ship. He was quickly becoming more reassured that he was right to bring his mother here. Clearly neither Cerys nor her father was suited to take care of themselves at the moment. They needed help.

She scrambled, standing quickly. “Oh.”

“Cerys, this is my mother. I believe your father will know who she is.”

The girl’s mouth hung open. She looked mildly terrified.

His mother, having spent many years interacting with shell shocked, traumatized troopers, was incredibly adept in these situations. Her voice was soft when she spoke. “Cerys. It is good to meet you. Is your father on this ship with you?”

Cerys didn’t say anything, but she nodded.

“My son tells me there’s a woman that’s been fatally shot. Your mother?”

She shook her head.

“Okay... Can I speak with your father? If he worked on the Starkiller he will know who I am. I very likely know who he is. I think it would be good for you to understand you can trust us.”

Her mouth opened and closed a few times. “Thank you, but no. My father is in no condition to see anyone.”

“Can I ask what his name is?”

Cerys’s eyes were huge, terrified. She didn’t answer.

His mother sighed. “Listen, I know that being ex Order is dangerous in most parts. But there is nothing your father could have done that would make him a bigger enemy to most than I am.”

Much to his surprise, the girl laughed.

His mother was frustrated by her reaction, “Listen, unless the man is Hux himself…”

Cerys’ hand covered her mouth and she blinked rapidly, trying to hold back tears.

His mother was quiet for a moment. When she spoke, her tone was grave – a warning. “You don’t actually expect me to believe that, do you? Armitage Hux died years ago at the hands of the Republic. And he never had children; I worked with him very closely around the time you would have been born.”

Armitage Hux. Cohren had met the man, many, many years ago. He was maybe 12 or 13 at the time. The hair was certainly right… but the man he saw earlier looked very different from the General.

“Phasma.”

None of them had noticed the man was standing in the hallway. He looked like a popped balloon – empty and weak and tired.

His mother’s jaw dropped open. “Ar… General. My god. You’re alive.”

He didn’t look very alive.

He gave a short nod, “Please help my daughter.” He paused, like the sentence exhausted him. “Thank you.” With that, he turned and disappeared back into the room he came from.

His mother watched after him with her mouth hanging open. “I… I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” She looked at Cerys, shaking her head, “I really had no idea.”

“My father trusts you… you will help us?”

“Yes.” His mother sounded offended that she’d ask. “Yes, of course we will. I wasn’t aware that he had a child…”

“Ah… well, neither was he for a long time.”

 

**

 

Cerys wondered if Cohren’s family was full of towering, sliver-blonde people. The woman standing before her must have been the tallest woman she’d ever seen.

She hesitated for a moment before she spoke. “I have so many questions for you I don’t know where to begin. He…” She glanced down the hallway, “He’s clearly not doing well. The woman my son mentioned…”

Her stomach turned at the mention of Mila. “She… she isn’t my mother. But he does care for her, very deeply.”

Phasma nodded slowly. “I understand. If you don’t mind me asking… who is your mother? You must be nearly an adult. He would have had you while he was in the Order.”

“Er… yes. Well, I was born while he was in the Order. He didn’t know about me until shortly after he left the Order. My mother’s name was Vale Mazelle."

“Ah... Yes, I do remember hearing rumors they were possibly involved many years ago, shortly before she disappeared. Is that why he went to the Resistance?”

“No, that’s an entirely different story. We met quite by accident.”

She nodded, “Well, I do think you two probably have enough on your minds at the moment, so I won’t press. Would you like to see the ones they took to the med bay?”

“Yes, but I can’t leave my father. Let me check on him.”

She went back to the room – her father was seated on the edge of the bed, his face in his hands. She touched his shoulder gently, “Father… I know you said you can’t leave this ship… But I think we need to leave this ship.”

He blinked at her like he only half understood.

“Mika... she was shot.” Cerys could hear her voice shaking. “She’s at the med bay now, I need to go see her. And I don’t think you should be here, alone…” She trailed off.

Her father’s eyes showed a glimmer of concern when she mentioned Mika. “Mika is… Oh god, Ren is going to destroy Phasma’s ship when he finds out.”

She didn’t doubt that was somewhat true. “She was unconscious wen we found her. I need to go check on her.”

Maybe it was good for him to have something like this to focus on; he seemed to gather himself a little. “Yes. Yes, let’s go.” He stood, breathing in deeply as he did.

Phasma looked shocked to see him when they returned to the main area of the ship. “Oh… General…”

Her father looked almost in pain, shaking his head. “I’m not… That’s not my title anymore.”

“I… I’m sorry sir. Habit, I suppose.”

“We should go see Mika. Would you mind showing us the way?”

“Not at all.” She led them off the ship quickly. “If you don’t mind, sir, I’m still trying to piece this all together. Kylo Ren showed up at our ship moments after the shooting…”

“Ha.” The expression was too pronounced to be a genuine laugh. “It must seem odd. You think I’m dead, and then you find me on some little planet with Kylo Ren of all people.”

“Er… Yes. To say the least. This… Mika? I assume that’s his…”

“Companion? Yes. My… The one that was shot by the house Mika’s sister.”

“Oh.” Phasma looked at him with sincere concern. “Hux… I’m very sorry….”

“Mika happens to be pregnant.”

“Oh.” Phasma’s voice dropped. “Oh we need to get there fast.”

 

 

Ren burst through the doors of the med bay just after they got there. "She's here."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

Cerys went to him, "Ren... try to stay calm, please. The medics have her, they're performing an emergency procedure..."

He shot a frightening look to Phasma. "Who did this?"

She was admittedly impressed with Cohren's mother -- the woman seemed in complete control of this crazy situation, and even more, she was unintimidated by Ren. She held her hands up, "Ren... we know who we're looking for. We know exactly what he looks like. My son and his troopers are on his tail right now."

"I'll go find him..." He started to turn.

"No. No, you're staying right here. My son has this under control. Right now the most important place for you to be is here."

"Who do you think you are telling me..."

"Ren..." He glanced down to Cerys when she spoke. She motioned to the room they had Mika in. "They both need you right now. Let these people take care of it. You'll regret it if you leave her..."

He frowned for a moment, then stormed into Mika's room.

Armitage wasn't faring any better. He'd managed to keep it together on the way here, but had positioned himself leaning against a wall, his arms crossed and his eyes closed. He hadn't moved since, not even when Ren came barging into the med bay.

"Cerys, if you need anything let any of the staff know." Phasma said. "They will help you. I'll return as soon as I can."

Iz was in the room one door away from Mika's. They assured her he was okay -- from what they could tell, he was just fatigued. She clung to that little glimmer of hope and waited, standing with her father.

 

 

Nearly an hour later, Armitage still hadn't moved. He hadn't even opened his eyes. A man in medic's jacket, strikingly good-looking with dark skin and a strong jawline, approached them. He paused, leaning a little to see if her father was asleep. "Hux?"

His eyes finally opened, blinking a few times. He looked confused. "Sebbie?"

The man gave a weak smile. He glanced to Cerys. "So... You never mentioned you had a daughter..."

Armitage looked tired and confused. "Yes... Yes for obvious reasons I kept that private. Cerys, this is Sebbie Arim. He's an old friend of mine."

Cerys shook his hand, "It's good to meet you."

"And it's fantastic to meet you as well. I feel like there might be a story here for another time -- you must be Vale Mazelle's daughter." Cerys was caught off guard by the comment, but his kind smile made her think it was okay. "You have your father's hair, but otherwise you look a lot like her."

"Oh... You knew her?"

"Not really, I knew of her. And I knew..." He glanced to Armitage, "Well, I knew she and your father were involved."

"I didn't know you were here." Armitage said.

"Yeah, I started working with this group about a year and a half ago. But that's a story for another time. Phasma surprised me earlier when she told me you were here. She nearly fell out of her seat when I told her I was already well aware you were alive."

"Sebbie has been my only contact with the rest of the galaxy while we were in hiding." Armitage explained to her.

Sebbie nodded to an empty room. "Let's sit for awhile. Somewhere a little more private."

They followed him into the room and he closed the door. "I'm sure you're both exhausted... Phasma mentioned there was a woman?"

Armitage's eyelids fluttered a little. "There was."

Sebbie's smile faded into a very sincere, empathetic expression. Cerys was sort of amazed that Armitage was such close friends with the man. He was very... Kind.

"I'm really sorry to hear that, Hux."

His voice was hollow, quiet. "Me too."

Sebbie moved into a seat. "Phasma sent me to speak with both of you..."

"In regard to the shooter, I assume?"

He frowned. "Yeah. They caught him not too long ago..."

"Where is he?"

Sebbie hesitated. "He's in a cell room with a few troopers and a few interrogators. Don't get any ideas, Hux. I think Phasma was hoping I could give you some insight as to why this happened..."

"It was Brendol, wasn't it? He hired someone to come after her..."

Cerys was shocked by his assumption, and judging by Sebbie's expression he was as well. She'd figured out pretty quickly Brendol was a rotten person, but she never would have thought him capable of murder simply out of spite for Armitage.

"Mila confronted him a few weeks ago, it didn't go well. That bastard has been set on destroying these things since I was born..."

Sebbie looked very concerned. He inhaled deeply. "Hux... I know... I know that's probably the easier answer to accept, but Brendol wasn't involved at all."

Her father frowned. "No. You're wrong."

"Hux... This guy... He's been hunting down anyone connected to the Order for months now. His family was in the system the Order destroyed, he's seeking what he thinks is revenge. He popped onto our radar two months ago when he took out one of our own -- Dopheld, you remember him? We've been tracking him, trying to bring an end to all this. Finally got word that Kylo Ren was the next name on his list and we figured we'd have a good chance of stopping him, because who could really manage to take out Ren?"

Armitage shook his head. "So... What? You're telling me this whole thing is just some... Coincidence? That that bullet was meant for Ren?"

"No." Sebbie frowned. It wasn't an expression of concern anymore. It looked more like annoyance. "Do you remember what I told you when you said you were going to use that weapon?"

Armitage's jaw clamped shut. "Yes. You said you thought I was making a mistake."

"And?"

"And that I'd regret it. What's your point?" He snipped at him.

"The shooter has been sitting in that cell bragging to everyone that he got lucky enough to take a shot at the man who orchestrated the whole thing -- Armitage Hux himself. That bullet wasn't sent by your father, and it wasn't intended for Ren. It was sent for _you_ because of what _you_ did."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you like how I artfully danced around giving Phasma's full name? I swear I'll come back and edit this once we know...
> 
> I got tons of comments and pm's after the last chapter that everyone thought the shooting was Brendol's doing. I didn't go that direction with the story because I wanted to put Hux in a place where he was forced to realize Mila's death was entirely his fault, and it was a consequence of him using the superweapon.


	12. Chapter 12

Iz had no idea where he was. He was laying in a bed. The room smelled funny. Sterile. A human and a droid were in the room, and lots of little beeping machines.

Cerys. She was the last thing he remembered, Cerys was so afraid and her father was injured... and there was that man.  The tall blonde. He was on the ship. He remembered seeing him in the hallway, right as his vision started to swirl. He was so incredibly tired and weak from trying to heal Mila, and then Cerys’ father. But he needed to find Cerys. He couldn't trust the blonde, and now he’d left Cerys alone with him on the ship.

He pushed himself upright and the human tried to push him back down.

“Hey! Let me…” He wanted to Force shove the bastard across the room, but he was far too tired. Instead he just pushed his arm away.

The droid hooked an arm around his waist and pulled him back into the bed. He kicked at the human. His shoes were gone. Where did his shoes go?

“Let me go! Who the hell are you people?”

A door on the far side of the room sat open. He saw the familiar tall blonde man walk past. “ _You!_ ” He lunged against the droid’s grip. “Hey!”

The man paused in the doorway, looking surprised.

“Where the hell is she? Where have you taken her?”

He entered the room with a few long strides. “Stop, stop, you both can let him go. Stop.” He held a hand out, like he was trying to calm Iz. It didn’t work. He wanted answers, not hand motions. “Cerys is fine. You’re going to hurt yourself, you look like you’re still exhausted.”

“Where is she?” He hoped his tone got his point across: he was about to start tearing this room to pieces, with them in it, if he didn’t get answers soon.

“She’s right down the hallway.” He pointed to the door. “You can go see her.”

The human interrupted, “Ah… he really shouldn’t be walking just yet…”

The blonde looked at him, “Something tells me you’re better off to just letting him see her. She’s not far.” He motioned for Iz to follow him.

Iz sneered at the human medic as he pushed off the bed and onto his feet. He wavered for a moment, more exhausted than he expected. The blonde grabbed his arm.

“The doctor is a right that. You shouldn’t be walking.”

He jerked his arm away, feeling terribly confused by the kind gesture from someone he still didn’t entirely trust. “Er. Thank you. I’m fine.”

He followed the blonde to the hallway – a long sterile hallway. This was a med bay. Cerys was just a few doors down, pacing back and forth. When she saw him, her face dropped to utter relief. “Oh! Iz!” She strode to him and threw her arms around him, and he nearly collapsed.

“You… You’re okay?”

“Don’t be worried about me, I’m fine. What are you doing up? You look so tired…”

“I am tired, I just… wanted to make sure you’re okay. Um…” He looked over his shoulder at the blonde, “Thank you. What was your name again?”

He smiled kindly. “Cohren Phasma.”

“I’m sorry I was so…”

He waved it off. “No. Don’t be. You were protecting them in a very bad situation. I understand.”

Down the hallway, where Cerys had come from, he could see her father, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. He spoke quietly, so the man wouldn’t overhear, “I’m surprised to see him out… What’s he doing here?”

Cerys’ face dropped. “Iz… Mika… She was hit...”

“Oh… oh god. She’s here? How is she?”

“Iz, you should get back into the bed…” She pushed his shoulder lightly, like she was afraid she might knock him over. She might. It was nice of her to realize that.

He felt the breath catch in his throat, “You found her… after I passed out…”

“Iz… please.” She gripped his arm, digging her fingers into his forearm, “Will you at least sit?”

He wavered a little and leaned against the wall, letting himself sink to a sitting position on the floor. He rubbed his eyes, “How is she?”

“We haven’t had an update in about twenty minutes… they’ve got several medics in the room with her.”

“Have they… have they told you anything? How does it look? For her? For the baby?”

She crouched down next to him. “Iz? You know none of this was your fault? You passed out after helping my father with a relatively simple injury. Even if you were awake, I doubt there’s much you could have done for her.”

He appreciated the sentiment from her, but she didn’t understand. If he had just managed his usage a little better… if he had just been a little stronger… he may have been able to do more.

She squeezed his knee, “Iz… they’re pretty sure she’s going to make it, okay? Please don’t… don’t blame yourself.”

“She’s going to make it?”

“Yes, they think so.”

“They didn’t mention…”

“Iz…” She cut him off, shaking her head. “They don’t know. Please… don’t… none of this is your fault.”

He was about to ask where Ren was when he felt it – an immense, terrifying power, growing, looming over everything…

One of the patient room doors burst open and Ren stormed out, like a predator on the prowl. The power around him was electric, crushing.

“Oh… oh no.” Cerys watched after Ren for a moment, then stood. “Stay here, okay?”

Before he could reply, she was off, chasing Ren down the hallway.

“Ah… Oh she’s crazy…” He pushed himself upright quickly, teetered, and Cohren steadied him again.

“You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“Ha. She’s going to get herself killed if I don’t stop her. He’s so unstable…”

Even her father, who had been leaning against the wall, seemingly asleep, realized the danger. He was already following after her. Ren reached the end of the hallway and Cerys stepped in his way, blocking him from going anywhere. “Ren! Stop this!”

“Get out of my way. I’m going to find that bastard and…”

“Ren, you’re not thinking clearly.”

“Get out of my way…” His tone was horrifying.

Her father got to her first, “Cerys, get out of his way. You’ve never seen him like this.”

Ren was pacing, behaving absurdly. “If you know what’s good for you, you _will_ move…”

“Don’t threaten my daughter,” Hux’s tone was equally as foreboding, though he wasn’t making the air prickle with a dangerously unstable grasp on the Force. “Cerys, move out of his way.”

Iz paused next to Hux. He was exhausted, barely able to get a grasp on the Force. If Ren completely lost it and attacked her he stood no real chance of being able to defend her.

Ren suddenly froze, his attention snapping to Iz. “ _You_.” His hand flew out, fingers claw-like, “You know where they’re keeping that bastard.”

It took Iz a moment to realize Ren wasn’t speaking to him; he was speaking to the one standing next to him, Cohren.

Iz wasn’t entirely sure if Cohren’s confident tone was a product of his moral compass, or if he was just entirely ignorant of what Ren could do to him at the moment. “That information is…”

Before he could get to the next word, Ren Force dragged him across the floor and stepped over him, digging his fingers into the man’s neck. “You _will_ tell me one way or another.”

Suddenly, Ren stumbled to the side. Cerys, not giving up her bold stance, shoved him off Cohren. She glared at Ren defiantly. “What are you thinking, Ren?”

Ren loomed over her. “I am going to find this bastard that killed my child and see to it that he experiences more pain than he ever imagined was possible…”

She took a bold step forward and Iz made his move, trying to stop her before she followed through, but he was exhausted and slow and didn’t quite make it in time – She punched Ren, square in the nose. He clearly wasn’t expecting it; he made no effort to stop her.

“You’re a selfish prick.” Her tone was cutting, nothing like her regular voice. “You may have just lost your child, but Mika is still in there and she needs you now more than ever.”

Ren was quiet, holding his nose and looking at her.

“She needs you now, and she’s going to need you even more when she comes to and realizes she just lost her child and her sister in one day. And you…” She looked utterly disgusted with him, “You’re selfish enough to think that you’re the only one suffering here. Get control of yourself.”

She pushed past him and stormed past them all, back to Mika’s door.

Her father watched her, his hand over his mouth, eyes wide. He shook his head quickly and went to her.

Ren stood straight, ignoring Iz and Cohren. He returned down the hallway and went into Mika’s room. Hux had pulled Cerys into a private room.

Cohren looked at him, rubbing his neck. “You’re a Force user too, aren’t you?”

He nodded.

“I’ve never been around one before… That was sort of incredible. Can you drag people around like that as well?”

“Not right now…” He felt like he was about to fall over. “He shouldn’t have done that to you. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I don’t entirely blame the man, considering the circumstances. He just lost something very important. He’s not behaving rationally.” Cohren paused and looked at him. “You need to get back to your room.”

He nodded. Cohren was absolutely correct. He was about to fall asleep.

“Can you walk?”

Iz waved him away, “Yeah, yeah I’m okay.” It was a little bit of a lie – he didn’t even have the energy to fully pick up his feet as they walked back to his room.

“You must get tired from using the Force?”

He nodded blankly, “Yeah… I tried to heal Mila… the… the other one… wore myself out.”

The blonde nodded quietly. “I’m sorry to hear that. I don’t think I knew it could be used for healing.”

“Unfortunately I’m not as well trained as I should be with it.”

Cohren was quiet for a moment. “I think you might be a little hard on yourself.”

Iz didn’t believe that for a second – he could have saved lives if he had been a bit smarter, a bit stronger. He almost couldn’t believe how well mannered Cohren was. He laughed to himself. “I am so, _so_ happy we could trust you.”

“Ah, well you did look like a cornered animal when I boarded your ship. I’m happy you didn’t attack me, if you can do what Ren just did I wouldn’t have been able to help any of you.”

He shook his head, “I wouldn’t have had the energy then either. If you had ill intentions I don’t know that there’s anything I could have done to stop you. So thank you. Thank you for helping us.”

They paused before Iz’s door. The bed looked so incredibly tempting. He just needed a few more hours sleep.

“Don’t worry about it.” Cohren smiled at him. “You all are among friends here. As it turns out, my mother used to work very closely with Ren and Hux. We’ll make sure you all are safe to recover here.”

Iz looked at the smiling blonde, his head spinning. How was it possible that someone so kind could be the product of someone who helped promote one of the most massive genocides in galactic history? He felt himself waver again.

“Huh.”

“Um… it’s Iz, correct? I think you need to get to that bed pretty quickly…”

“Yeah. I do.”

He barely managed to fall into the bed before passing out again.

 

**

 

Iz wasn’t sure how long he slept. He still felt worn, but much better than he was earlier.

There was a small noise, a sniff, next to his bed, and he forced his eyes open. It was Cerys, sitting on a chair with her face buried in her hands.

This could not be a good sign.

He pushed himself upright, feeling stiff. He must have been asleep for some time. She jumped, standing from her chair and wiping her eyes quickly, “Oh…oh god I’m sorry I had no idea you were awake…”

“No... I just… are you okay?” It felt like a stupid question. Of course she wasn’t.

She blinked quickly, her tears already hidden. “Yes. Yes, I’m okay. How are you? I’m glad to see you’re awake. You’ve been out for almost an entire day.”

He tilted his head a little. She wasn’t okay. “I’m fine. You shouldn’t be worried about me.”

“Ha.” She looked away from him quickly, “I’ve been worried about everyone lately.”

“Everyone except yourself?”

“I’m fine. You look tired still.”

She was trying to change the subject, keep the attention off her. He sighed and pushed off the bed, onto his bare feet, and closed the door so they had some privacy.

“Iz, you can barely walk. You must be so tired still…”

“I’ll be okay, if I’ve been sleeping for a whole day it won’t hurt me to spend a few minutes talking with you.” He paused. “You know it’s okay for you to be upset? Look, the door is closed; it’s just you and me. You can talk to me here, and then go back to pretending you’re fine out there.”

Her hazel eyes were so wide, looking back at him like she desperately needed to say something. She wasn’t giving in though.

“How is Mika?” He was hesitant to ask.

She blinked rapidly, looking away from him, “She woke up about four hours ago. She’s… devastated over losing the child. And I… I just had to break the news about Mila to her.” He could see tears starting to form in her eyes, but she was doing her best to blink them away. Her voice shook when she spoke. “The doctors expect her to make a full recovery from the incident. I don’t know… I don’t know that she’ll ever recover from losing her child and her sister.”

When she stopped talking, he didn’t respond. She was avoiding having to talk about what she was going though. He only had to wait a few seconds for her to break – she heaved a sob and covered her mouth, “Iz… I’m completely overwhelmed. I have no idea how to help them. Mika hasn’t spoken since I told her about Mila. And Ren… he’s so unstable, I’ve never seen him like this. He’s either holding Mika while she sobs or stalking around the hallways like he wants to fight someone… He nearly choked out a doctor a few hours ago. And my father…” tears started trailing down her cheeks and she had to stop speaking. “I have never known my father to show any sort of weakness, but this… this has broken him.”

Iz remembered seeing the man fall to his knees, leaning on his daughter for support. He could understand her concern – the man was very clearly devastated.

She sobbed, squeezing her eyes shut and hiding her face. “I know you don’t like him, but I am completely terrified to my core that I may lose him over this.”

He was crushed, watching her sob helplessly. He was familiar with the pain of losing family all too well; he didn’t blame her for being afraid. He pulled her into a quick hug, letting her sob into his shoulder. “Your father is going to be okay. And… for the record, I actually do like your father quite a bit. It’s actually made this whole thing terribly confusing, but I think he’s been a fantastic father to you and I think he’s a very well principled man… at least now. I don’t know what to think about anything anymore, my entire ethos has been turned on its head in the past few days. I’m… completely confused, to be honest.”

She stayed buried in his shoulder, sniffing. “I don’t think he’s consumed anything other than alcohol in the past day.”

“He’s grieving; you need to let him have that. I can help you keep an eye on him.” He paused. “But you need to let yourself grieve as well.”

“Iz, you can barely stand,” She sobbed again. “You’re the only one I think I can actually help a little bit, and I can’t even get you to stay in bed and rest.”

He actually laughed at the comment, though it was probably a completely inappropriate reaction at the moment. “Tell you what: I’ll get back into bed in five minutes if that will make you feel any better. But right now I think you need to talk and cry than I need to sleep. Let me give you five minutes of my time.”

She sniffed, “Thank you.”

“You’re trying to keep everyone functioning smoothly, including yourself, but all of you need to break down a little. It’s okay to be broken sometimes. You’re all going to be okay, but you need to let everyone grieve and work through the pain first.”

She kept her face buried in his shoulder.  “I’m so terrified.”

“That’s okay. Just… keep breathing.”

She sobbed.

“I understand why you’re afraid. You’re sad about Mila, but you’ve lost people before. You’re used to that pain. What bothers you is the looming thought that you might lose more people… that is the real terrifying part.” He gave a pathetic laugh, “Why do you think I’ve been alone since my family passed? You can’t lose people if you don’t have them in your life. You’re much braver than I – you lost your mother and chose to keep forming bonds with people, knowing exactly what was at risk.”

She sobbed again.

“Just keep breathing, okay? That’s the important part. You can get through anything if you keep breathing.”

She sniffed, sighing into his shoulder. Her breathing was starting to calm, she wasn’t sobbing anymore.

“Cerys… I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’ll stay here as long as you need me to. I won’t let you do this alone, I’ll be here.”

She lifted her head from his shoulder and he turned to her – as he did, she brushed her lips against his. He froze, thinking it was an accident, until she did it again, softly planting her lips on his.

She jerked back quickly, her hand over her mouth. “Oh… Oh god I’m so sorry…”

His mouth dropped open a little. “Uh…”

Her eyes started to well with tears again, “I… I’m so sorry Iz… I didn’t… I don’t… I…”

“Woah woah woah… don’t start crying again…”

She shook her head, her face flushed, “I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have…”

“No. I mean… yes.” He didn’t know what he was trying to say. “It’s okay.” _Really, really okay._ “I promise. I just… I’m confused.”

She shook her head again, “That was very presumptuous of me. I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to put you in such a position…”

“No. No. Please. If that’s what you want to do, presume away. Please.”

She looked confused. “I haven’t wanted to make you feel compromised… It must be hard enough for you to just be my friend considering who my father is…”

His jaw hung open for a moment. “Wait. Has that been what held you back this whole time?”

She hesitated.

“I… Cerys, I didn’t think you were interested… Did you really not notice I was… this whole time?”

“Well… I thought you were acting odd when we first met. But… look I haven’t been around many people my age…”

He laughed. Her face was nearly the same color as her hair.

“It’s okay. I swear. Don’t be so…”

“You’re laughing.”

“Well, yeah. Had I known what you were thinking I would have made a move weeks ago.”

She turned a deeper shade of red. “Really?” She almost squeaked as she spoke.

“God yes… I…” He was at a loss for words. “Cerys, I’ve wanted that since the first time I saw you. And I’ve only wanted it more the more I spend time with you.”

She blinked at him a few times, then took a quick step forward and kissed him again.

“Oh… okay.” He was somehow just as surprised the second time. “Are you… sure? This is what you want?”

“Yes.” She nodded against his lips. “Please?”

“If that’s the case…” She interrupted him with another kiss, “… will you give me ten more minutes before I have to get back in bed?” He felt like he could melt with her arms wrapped around his neck.

She actually cracked a little grin, “Yes… just…” She kissed him again, “Just shut up already.”

He kissed her like he’d wanted to since he first saw her.

 

**

 

Hux was working on a glass of whiskey when Phasma appeared in his doorway, her usual tight-lipped look even more severe.

“Hux.”

“Phasma.”

“Follow me.”

He was well practiced at appearing normal after a few drinks; he went to her side, “Is there a problem?”

“Yes. Just follow me, okay?” She seemed irritated.

They made their way down the hallway to the quarters she’d provided for Ren. Phasma banged on the door. After a few terse moments, Ren opened the door. He didn’t look well. Phasma huffed. “Ren. Come with us, please.”

“Hm?” Ren did as he was told, walking next to Hux but more or less ignoring his presence. Hux vaguely wondered if Ren was drunk, but maybe he was just projecting. He’d never known the man to drink before. His coping mechanisms were much more external. And violent.

To be fair, Ren was behaving himself slightly better since Mika woke up. Or at least, he was too distracted taking care of her to keep Force choking medics.

They followed Phasma to the lower level of the ship, and Hux realized they were going to the cells – where she had the bastard that killed Mila stored away. He’d spent a great deal of time contemplating how to get in on his own, but Phasma seemed to know what he was thinking and kept one of her crew tailing him any time he left his room. He was surprised that Ren hadn’t fought his way in yet – it wasn’t as though any of her people could stop Ren.

Phasma paused in front of the first door and inhaled sharply, punching a code into the keypad.

Ren glanced at him as they followed her in. He pretended not to notice. There were four cells, with transparent walls facing outward.

It was only when the door closed behind them that Phasma spoke, “I thought you both would want to know that the job has been taken care of for you.” She motioned to the first cell on the right. “One of my men found her down here. I still have no idea how she managed to sneak away from the medics.”

Mika was sitting on the floor of the cell, her back leaning against the transparent wall. The scene before her was… well, justified, by Hux’s standards.

“Mika!” Ren scanned the wall for a door, but nothing could be seen. He looked at Phasma. “She can’t hear in there?”

“The door is sealed and all communication channels have been cut off. No, she can’t hear, and we can’t get in there.”

Ren crouched opposite her, placing his fingertips on the glass opposite her back and closing his eyes. Maybe it was some Force thing. Or maybe Ren was just crazy. Probably both.

Phasma gave a sharp inhale again, “If I can be frank, since the three of us are here alone, I think if anyone had the right to execute the bastard it was her. I don’t blame her for doing this considering everything she just lost. I will see to it that this is covered up.” She glanced to Hux. “Primarily that it’s hidden from your daughter. She seems like a sweet girl, I can’t imagine how she would react knowing such a thing.”

Hux gave a short nod, still surveying the scene. There wasn’t much left to the man. He wondered how someone as small as Mika managed to cause so much damage.

“In the meantime, Ren, we need to get her cleaned up and back to the med bay.”

Ren nodded absentmindedly, his fingertips still on the glass. On the other side, Mika stood and turned to them. She was still in her med bay garments, which were stained with blood. She wasn’t wearing anything to cover her scarred eyes – she appeared to have been crying.

She raised her hand to the side and put a code into the keypad on the inside of the cell, and a portion of the wall slid open, allowing her out. Ren immediately scooped her into his arms, “Mika…”

She mumbled something into his embrace – Hux could just barely make it out: “It didn’t help.”


	13. Chapter 13

A few days later, Iz was feeling significantly better. He’d become fast friends with the medics assigned to him, who were more than happy to chat with him about their job and exactly what seemed to have happened to him. He was happy to have a slightly better understanding of the fatigue that always followed the healing process.

The medics were very cautious about releasing him, but they finally gave him the okay. As if by magic, his shoes reappeared. His suspicion was that the medics hid them to try and keep him there. He wasn’t sure how effective the strategy was – Mika apparently wandered off undetected at some point during the day. The medics were all in a fit trying to find her, but Cerys let them all know Mika wandering away wasn’t entirely unusual behavior.

Cerys was with him as the medics performed a few last checks. She’d been with him all morning, and left late last night. Though this morning, they weren’t alone. Cohren had joined them. Iz didn’t mind; he was incredibly kind to both of them and was actually great company to have around. He was friendly and polite and Iz got the impression he could trust him with anything – He was just a really nice guy.

“You’re sure he’s okay to go?” Cerys asked the medics. She looked very concerned. He had half a mind to think she’d been pulling strings behind his back, making sure they kept him here until he was very much recovered. He didn’t entirely blame her – she’d seen enough of the people she cared for hurt, if him staying in the med bay an extra day made her feel better, he was willing to take that bullet.

“Yes, if everything here looks okay I’d say he’s made a complete recovery.”

“I’m sure I’m fine. I feel about a million times better.”

The doctor lifted the back of his shirt and Iz hissed as he placed a cold device against his bare skin.

Cohren squinted, “Is your entire back covered in those tattoos?”

“Er… yeah.” He decided not to mention it really covered his whole body.

“I’ve never seen your back…” As soon as the doctor moved away Cerys grabbed the back hem of his shirt and pulled it back up, running a finger along the unmarked trail of skin leading up his spine. “Woah. This must have been really painful, your entire back is covered!”

He laughed nervously and grabbed her hand. She had no idea what she was doing. Standing next to the door, Cohren was trying to hide a laugh.

“Alright,” The medic stepped in front of them. “Everything looks good. I think you’re good to leave whenever you like.”

Iz smiled, more grateful for the distraction than anything else. “Thank you.”

The man nodded, “Not at all. You’re welcome back here any time, though we’d prefer you aren’t a patient next time.”

The medic – a man named Sebbie -- had spoken with him earlier in the day and offered to let Iz shadow him if he was interested. He’d noticed Iz’s curiosity about what he was doing, and thought, correctly, that he might be interested in learning more.

Iz thanked him again and he left. He stood and stretched, feeling like it was the first time he’d truly been out of the bed since he was brought here. “So… how long are you guys planning on staying on this little planet? I imagine you all have things to do.”

Cohren nodded, “Yes, I’m not privy to exact plans yet, but I imagine we’ll need to leave in a few days at most.” He paused, “Honestly, this is a little nice. It’s like a mini vacation for everyone.”

“Cohren…” A woman’s voice came from the hallway. She stepped into the room – very tall and very blonde. There was absolutely no way she wasn’t Cohren’s mother.  She towered over Iz by several inches. She paused when she saw Iz. “Oh. He’s awake.”

“Ah, Iz, this is my mother.”

“Iz?” She held a hand out, “It’s good to meet you. I’ve heard a great deal about how much you helped your companions.”

He looked at her hand. This was Hux’s old colleague. She worked on the Starkiller as well. She was high ranking, knew Hux well.

He rubbed his forehead. If Cohren hadn’t mentioned her shared history with Hux, he wouldn’t have an issue shaking her hand. She had, after all, helped Cerys and the others so much while he was unconscious. He shouldn’t have a problem shaking her hand. But somehow he couldn’t remove the thought from his mind.

When he looked up he saw she and Cohren were wearing identical expressions – one awkwardly raised eyebrow and a slight frown.

He sighed. If it weren’t for this woman, and for her son, Mika would be dead. There was a good chance Cerys may have wound up injured as well – Cohren’s men landing their ship near Ren’s home had scared away the shooter.

He wasn’t sure how his life was turned on its head so quickly. For years, there was some deeply injured part of him that wanted revenge for his family. And last night he was trading kisses with the daughter of the man responsible for giving the command.

He shook her hand, “Er… hello. I’m sorry. I…” She was still looking at him oddly, like she was suspicious of him. Might as well lay it all on the table. “I suppose her father hasn’t mentioned… My family was on Hosnian Prime when the First Order fired their weapon.”

The woman’s hand froze mid shake. “Oh… Oh dear…”

“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to behave offensively, I’m just…”

She shook her head quickly, withdrawing her hand. “No. You certainly don’t need to apologize for anything. I understand. I had no idea…”

“I do need to thank you. For having your medics attend to me and for helping the others while I was out…”

She blinked quickly, looking taken aback. “I don’t think you need to thank me for anything. I…” She shook her head, looking to the door. “I will have to speak with Hux about this, he should have mentioned.”

“I have a feeling he’s not thinking clearly at the moment. It’s not a problem, I just… didn’t want to appear completely offensive.”

“No… no.” She looked at the door again. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. It was all so terribly awkward now. “I am sorry; I have some other matters to attend to.” She looked back at him. “You should know that you are welcome here. It may be the very least I can do.”

She left quickly, Cohren watching after her. He waited a few moments for her to be long gone before he spoke. “I’m sorry Iz. I had no idea.”

He shook his head. “How could you have? Anyhow, you didn’t do anything wrong. You would have been too young to be involved with the program.”

Cohren frowned a little. “The Order is part of my blood… my mother was involved in many of the actions taken by the organization, as was my father. I was too young to be a true member by the time it disbanded, but I was in the Junior Officer training program.” He paused. “I still don’t know what to think of the whole ordeal. The scale of the destruction was so massive it’s difficult to comprehend. But my family and I carry some responsibility for the things that happened. My mother played such a large role in everything; she’s quite reluctant to speak about it. But… she feels guilt. A terrible amount of it, I think.”

Iz scratched his head and clicked his teeth, “Eh… yeah. I mean, that’s good, I guess. But… honestly the empathy is a little too late.”

Cohren nodded. “Yes, I understand that. I think she does as well. It’s why she made no attempt to apologize to you. She knows she could never begin to patch the wounds she’s caused.  My family and I… we are one unit.  That’s how my mother raised my brother and I to think. I am not ashamed of my mother…” He nodded to Cerys, “Just as I’m sure she's not ashamed of her father.”

Iz sighed, glancing to Cerys. Her lips were pursed, like she wanted to say something but didn’t quite know how to say it.

“You know, for years I imagined what it might be like to meet some of the Order officials. I think… I think I just pictured them with talons and fangs like they were inhuman creatures. I mean what they did was certainly inhuman, so it would make sense that they would be ludicrously evil. And instead I spent the past three weeks aboard a tiny ship laughing at the jokes Armitage Hux makes that nobody else really gets and harboring some sort of weird…” He hesitated and looked at Cerys, “… some weird affection for his daughter. All the while I had no idea that this was the man who was very much responsible for the death of my entire family. These people… the ones I’ve daydreamed of killing at times… they’re not ludicrously evil, they’re ludicrously human, and dimensional, and complex.”

He stopped and shook his head, “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I have no idea what to think of any of this. Right now, I’m coping with it by ignoring it. I certainly… certainly can’t think of forgiveness yet. But I can ignore it.” He paused. “That is, if we just don’t talk about it.”

Cohren scratched his jaw line, “I suppose that does make sense. If that’s the case…” He glanced out to the hallway, “Let’s get out of here and help you get your mind off this.”

Iz was terribly grateful that he understood.

 

**

 

After spending the day walking the small island with Cerys and Cohren, they returned to the ship. Iz had been provided quarters on the ship, but had to make a quick return to their small ship.

He was surprised to see Armitage sitting on one of the cushions in the main area. Maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised. He had a glass and an open bottle of some sort of alcohol, sitting with his elbow on the table, his hand over his mouth. He didn’t seem to notice Iz; he just stared into space, tired and unfocused.

It was pathetic. He sighed, reminding himself he promised Cerys he would keep an eye on her father.

“… Hux?”

The man blinked and glanced to him. Maybe he did know Iz was there and just didn’t care.

“You shouldn’t be here. You’re just making it worse for yourself.”

He could see the man’s mouth move behind the hand, his beard shifting. He refilled his glass.

Iz decided to take another approach. He moved into the seat across from him. “Your daughter is worried about you.” He glanced to the glass. “I can see why.”

“Mm.” He grabbed the drink, finally exposing his mouth. “She’s amazing, isn’t she? She’s been so focused on me and you and the other two… That is not something she gets from me.” He paused. “I don’t know that she got it from her mother either. I don’t know where that comes from.”

He watched Hux closely as the man drank. He carried it well. His speech was slurred, but not horrible.

“It comes from knowing the pain of losing someone you care for deeply. She’s terrified of losing anyone else.”

“Mm.” He looked back to the cockpit quickly, blinking. “You asked me, just a few days ago, if I regretted my past actions. Had I not given the order to fire that weapon, I never would have met Mila, or my daughter. Mila would be alive, and my daughter would be safe. I’m well aware that most likely isn’t the answer you want, it’s far too selfish, but the two of them mean more to me than everyone else.”

Iz considered how he wanted to respond. “Had you not fired that weapon, your daughter would be completely alone. She has a family here, which makes her happier than anything. Even if it’s broken at the moment.”

Hux paused, covering his mouth again and looking at Iz. “She’s quite taken with you.”

He nodded, “I’m happy to be her friend. I think she needs one.”

Hux polished off his glass quickly and refilled. “That’s not what I was talking about. You still haven’t noticed. Mila never saw it either. I don’t know how, but… I suppose she has been very secretive about it. I thought it was odd at first – I’ve never known the girl to not get exactly what she wants when she wants it. It somehow never occurred to me that I was the thing stopping her from pursuing you.”

Iz’s mouth hung open a little. “I… er… what gives you the idea she…”

“My daughter is careful. But the way she watches you when she thinks nobody is paying attention… And the way she behaves when you join a conversation. She stops breathing.” He blinked quickly. “It’s painfully obvious; I don’t know how none of you noticed.”

It wasn’t even remotely obvious, Iz thought. He must just know his daughter that well.

Hux shook his head, “None of this is to say that I approve of…” He motioned toward Iz, “the entire situation. But you clearly still have feelings for her despite now knowing who her father is so… so that is something.”

Iz blinked at him, entirely unsure of how to respond.

“I suppose what I’m trying to say,” He looked frustrated that he had to explain, “is when she gives up this act and makes a move, I trust that you will treat her well.” He hesitated. “She is the last thing I have. I will not tolerate seeing her mistreated.”

“You… must be very drunk.”

“I’m not.”

“You’ve never shared more than two or three sentences with me at a time, and now you’re very nearly giving me approval to pursue your daughter.”

Hux blinked at him, looking down his nose. “I am _not_ giving you premission. I never said that. I said when _she_ makes a move.”

He tried to hide a smirk, “Does this mean you actually think I’m okay?”

“It means,” Hux said sharply, “That I think you make her happy. I think that being with you would make her happy. And while I’m not entirely sure _why_ she feels that way, I will not do anything to prevent her from being happy.”

Iz thought for a moment, then realized this was possibly his chance to get Hux to answer a burning question. The man was just drunk enough that he might answer honestly. “What exactly is it that you have against me?”

Hux blinked at him.

Iz shrugged, “I’m just curious. What about me is objectionable to you?”

He gazed across the table at him, like he was trying to read his mind. “You… Force types… you’re all quite odd. Granted I haven’t met many, but I did work very heavily with Ren for many years… It’s all too unpredictable for me.”

“That’s it? That I’m Force sensitive?”

Hux hesitated. “When I worked with Ren, I remember thinking, very plainly, that he was so reliant on his Force abilities that he’d never bothered to hone any of his other skills. And I’ve seen it in every force user I’ve met since. There’s this sense of… sort of smug superiority, like you happened to be born with this sixth sense that only one in a billion people gets and it's apparently so great it makes you in an entirely different class than everyone around you. What most Force users are too stupid to realize is that mentality is their biggest weakness. You become so reliant on that skill that you forget to hone any of your other skills. The next thing you know, you have someone like Ren. Disastrously powerful and completely inept when it comes to anything he can’t use the Force on.”

Iz nodded slowly. He actually understood the opinion. He’d noticed it as well. “It does turn into a crutch for many.”

“Right. Which doesn’t make any sense to me, because it’s completely unreliable. I’ve seen Ren’s powers backfire on him, or even completely fail to work. And then what is he left with? Nothing.”

“You really think Ren is nothing without his Force sensitivity?”

Hux nodded his head from side to side. “I mean, the man does have some tactical skills, I think maybe a natural gift from his mother. Unfortunately it’s been dampened over the years from neglect. How does one do that?” He sounded indignant. “He’s the son of Leia Organa, one of the best strategists to have lived. But that all went to the wayside because he could… trip people without touching them. It’s monstrous.”

“And you think I do that?”

Hux paused again, refilling his drink. “I thought you did. I may be wrong about that.”

“Thank you.”

Hux blinked at him.

“I’ve noticed that habit in Force users as well. I try to avoid it. I’m glad you’ve noticed.”

The conversation fell to silence and he noticed Armitage was staring into space again.

He sighed, “What are you doing here, Hux? This isn’t a good place for you to be. You’re just dwelling…”

“I can dwell here or I can dwell elsewhere. What does it matter?”

He frowned. “You wouldn’t be staring at the spot she died.”

Hux downed the rest of his drink a little more quickly than Iz was comfortable with. “I’m not staring at the spot she died. I’m staring at the spot she stood when she asked me to spend the rest of my life with her.”

Iz looked at him, not quite sure he understood.

He pointed into the cockpit, and then moved his finger to the ramp, “She died about… ten steps from that spot.”

“I… I’m very sorry to hear that. I didn’t know…”

“We were going to tell Cerys the next day, after Mika’s celebration.” He sighed, rubbing his face and suddenly looking very tired. “I don’t know that I can ever tell her now.”

"I don't know what to tell you.”

“Mm. There is nothing to say about it. It’s just… bad. All bad."

Iz watched him quietly for a few moments. Hux paid no attention to him; his eyes were fixed on the cockpit.

“I don’t think you deserved any of this.”

Hux blinked at him.

Iz shrugged. “If I can be honest with you, I always wanted to see you suffer for what you did to my family, and to so many others. Now that I can see it…” He shook his head, “When I wished that upon you, I wanted you to suffer alone. I never… I never could have imagined you were even capable of loving someone, but even then I never would have wanted other people hurt to get to you. I suppose I know the feeling all too well. It’s awful to have to wonder why you’re the one who survived.”


	14. Chapter 14

Iz was visiting the medics the next day when he ran into Mika. He’d avoided her since the incident; there were too many dark things to face when he saw her.

Ren was by her side, as he had been for most of the past several days. She had evidently been let go by her medics – she was wearing her regular clothing.

Iz froze when he saw her, wondering momentarily if it would be completely awkward for him to turn and leave quickly. It wasn't like she could see.

Ren gave him away. She spoke before Iz could decide to run. “Iz?” Her voice was hoarse and strained, most likely from crying. She looked tired; he was sure she wasn’t sleeping well.

“I… How are you?” He quickly added the question to the list of stupidest things he’d ever asked.

“Alive. I wanted to speak with you.”

“Oh?”

She threw her arms around him in a shocking embrace, “Hux told me what you did for my sister. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“He… Hux? What?” He’d been going over this moment in his head for some time, wondering how he could even begin to apologize to her.

“Yes, Hux told me you tried to heal her… that you knocked yourself out for a day and a half trying to help her.” She planted a kiss on his cheek, “You are a very good person. I will never be able to repay you.”

“Wh… But…” He shook his head quickly, “No, Mika… I tried, but…”

Mika backed away, frowning at him, “You and that girl… you two are both blaming yourself for this. None of this is your fault.”

He couldn’t even look at Ren. “Mika… Not only did I completely fail to save her, but I was too weak to stay awake after…”

“So you think you could have saved me? Saved my child?” Her frown twisted. “Iz, there is no sense in thinking in such a manner. You should not blame yourself for any of it.” She paused. “I do not blame you.”

"And I don’t either, for that matter.” Ren added.

He really only half believed them. He sighed, “Well… thank you for that. What are you two planning on doing now? I know Cerys has been wondering.”

He noticed Mika playing with the hem of Ren’s tunic. “I will stay with Ren. I think we both need to heal… together.”

Iz nodded, “I’m happy to hear that. I think Cerys will be happy as well. Though she will miss you.”

“It is not as though I won’t visit her. I just need some time.”

“There is…” Ren hesitated, “... something Mika and I have been discussing. You’re relatively untrained, correct?”

Iz blinked. “Er… yeah. I never finished my training.”

Ren frowned a little. “Well, neither did I. But… look, from what Hux told me you put on quite the display of abilities. I think you have some potential, you just need someone to guide you a little.”

Iz raised an eyebrow, “Are you offering to train me?”

“Yes.” Mika replied for him.

Ren inhaled, “It wouldn’t entirely be a traditional training. Mika and I are staying here, in the home on the hill. But I would train you, and you would have access to my mother’s library.”

His jaw dropped. “I… really?”

“Yes.” Mila replied for him again.

“I… er… well… I mean I’d have to be a complete moron to turn that down…”

“I’m not really… good at this sort of thing, but if you are going to dedicate yourself to training with me, there will be some sacrifice. You will stay on this planet, but we’ll move you to another island. There’s a small one, maybe thirty minutes from here with a small dwelling. I’ll be there with you most of the time for training purposes, but I… I need to leave occasionally to see Mika.”

He nodded, “I’m used to spending most of my time alone. It shouldn’t be an issue.”

Mika sniffed. “Before you give us your answer, I do think you should maybe speak with Cerys…”

Ren scratched his nose, possibly hiding a smirk behind his hand. “You two have gotten closer in the past few days. I think it would be a good idea for you to speak with her first.”

“Oh?” Mika sounded surprised, almost excited. “Have they really?”

Ren was certainly hiding a smirk now. Iz couldn’t figure out how the man would have found out about he and Cerys. They'd been very private about it.

“Er… yeah. Yes, I should speak with Cerys.”

 

**

 

Cerys’ jaw dropped. “Yes. Yes absolutely! You should do it! I can’t believe Ren offered!”

He found himself absentmindedly running his fingers over the fabric on her knee. The contact was nice, soothing. He wasn’t sure what was making this so difficult.

“You’re certain? You wouldn’t be able to speak to me for an entire year, maybe longer.”

She nodded, “Yes… I mean what business of mine would it be to tell you no? But either way, I want you to do this. It’s an amazing opportunity and I think it would make you very happy.”

He looked at her for a moment. Sometimes he felt every sentence she spoke wound around him and pulled him tighter, closer to her.

“Look, Iz, I’m going to miss you. Terribly. But you need this. And I can keep busy. My father… he needs my help. He won’t admit it and he’s getting better at hiding it, but he’s terribly hurt, I think maybe beyond repair. It may actually be a good thing… for me to have an entire year to focus on helping him.”

“What are you two going to do? I can’t imagine your father wants to go back to your home.”

She shook her head. “I think that would be a very bad thing for him right now. Actually, just last night I caught he and Phasma speaking in an office. It seems she wants him to join this group they have. They’re focusing on helping bring order to some of the more chaotic out rim territories. My father seemed very interested in it, and I honestly think he needs something big like this… a big, huge change to take his mind off everything.”

He smiled, a little unsure of how he felt about two of the highest ranking members of the Order joining forces again. “That’s good to hear. I think the busier he keeps, the better he’ll be. You want to stay here with him?”

“Yes, I think I can find a good spot here. Cohren mentioned they have a great engineering team. I’m thinking I can maybe squeeze my way in…”

He smiled and kissed her forehead. “Good. I’m happy for you.” He paused. “I… I have never really done this before...”

“Done what?”

He hesitated, not sure how to explain. “Will you wait for me?”

She blinked. “What? Wait for you? Where do you think I’m going?”

He laughed. “No… I… Listen, in a year or so, I'll be done. And I will come find you.” He paused. “Will you be there?”

A smile twitched on her lips. “Iz… that question feels almost silly. Of course I’ll be there. Of course I’ll wait.”

He grinned and kissed her again. It felt nice to know that in some weird way, he finally had a home to return to again.


	15. Epilogue

Cerys by no means had short legs, but she felt like she had to take two steps to keep up with every one stride Cohren took. He was kind enough to be aware that his excessive height caused this problem, but he was walking at a faster pace today.

“You know, you don’t have to walk me home today… You must be exhausted. It was a long day for both of us. Why don’t you just…”

“No, no.” He waved, dismissing the thought. “I need to… just clear my mind a little. Believe it or not, I happen to enjoy speaking with you.”

“If I didn’t know any better I’d think we were friends.” She laughed, and so did he. They had become close friends in the year that she and Armitage had been living with what had become known as The Guard, an organization comprised of First Order survivors and a few other outer-rim dwellers with military experience who saw the opportunity to use their experience to bring some semblance of peace to wild space territories. Before she and her father joined them, they’d set up a small camp on an otherwise deserted moon. She and Armitage had made their home there, among people who knew who he was but had no desire to harm him. “I’m very happy Armitage wanted to stay here.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, it would have been so lonely to go back to our old home. It’s nice to be around people. That must sound terribly odd to you.”

He nodded, laughing at her. “Yeah. It does. For the record, I’m glad you stayed as well. And your father. He’s been a formidable addition to our organization… though I suppose I should have expected that.”

In the time since they joined the organization, her father had somewhat managed to… take the entire thing by storm. She supposed it was remnants of his days with the Order, though she’d never witnessed his professional mannerisms before. He was a General at the time he left the Order, a very high ranking position for someone so young. Between that and what she assumed was a compulsive need to keep his mind busy and not think of Mila, he’d managed to work his way to the head position of this particular branch.

“I do miss Iz though. I wish… It’s completely selfish, I know he’s doing something good for himself, but I wish he could have stayed.”

Cohren smiled a little. “Is it selfish?”

“It is. Yes. He’s training with Ren. He needs the time to focus on learning and growing. I shouldn’t be so…”

“You didn’t stop him from going.”

“No.”

“So it’s not selfish. It’s okay to wish for things you wouldn’t make happen even if you had the opportunity. And it’s certainly fine that you miss him.”

She thought about it for a moment. “He should be done with his training soon anyway. It’s been over a year.”

“It must be killing you to not even be able to talk to him.”

“Maybe a little.” She smiled sadly. They were approaching her and Armitage’s home. She was old enough now that she could move out to her own home, but Armitage… he’d needed her around. He managed to keep everything looking prim as usual on the outside, but Mila’s death had taken its toll on him. He didn’t sleep nearly as much as he used to. She’d managed to get him talking about it a few times, mostly when he was drinking heavily. He missed her. Cerys had come to see that Mila was the foundation of the stable little life he had built for himself from the ruins of everything that came before. He was lonely, and broken.

“Do you mind if I come in for a moment?”

He appeared nervous. She wondered if something was wrong. “Yes, of course you can.” She opened the door and they both stepped in.

Her father was sitting in the family room, on the sofa, talking with a guest. She nearly fell over when she saw -- it was Mika. 

"Mika!" She went to her, throwing her arms around her before she could even stand. "Mika! How are you? It's been so long! What have you been up to? How is Ren? Where is Ren? Where is Iz?" A dark thought struck her -- there was no reason for Mika to be here without them. "Where is Iz? Is he okay?"

Mika opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by snickering near the entryway.

She turned to see Iz, standing next to Cohren and laughing. “I thought I was going to die a few times, but I made it back here in one piece.”

His hair – at least, the center part that he always kept – was longer, reaching down between his shoulder blades now. And he’d grown facial hair. She was relieved his laugh was still the same, because so much else seemed to have changed.

“I was standing back here the whole time…”

Her mouth hung open for a minute. She wanted to hug him. And punch him. And tell him she’d missed him more than anything. And ask why he didn’t bother telling her he’d be coming back today.

She covered her mouth, blinking back the tears she could feel starting to form. It was foolish. She wasn’t sad. There was no need for tears.

“Hey… don’t do that…” Suddenly he was in front of her, reaching out to her. His hand paused before her cheekbone, like he was afraid to touch her.

She threw her arms around him and buried her nose in his neck, trying to hide the few tears that leaked out. “You… I didn’t know you were coming back already.”

“I hoped it would be a nice surprise for you…”

“It is. It is. The best surprise. Just… don’t do it again. Tell me when you’re coming home.”

He hugged her closer. “I missed you. So much.”

She sniffed. "Where is Ren?"

"Ren should be here soon." Mika said. "He's... Taking care of something."

She clung to Iz. "Iz I missed you so, so much... How was it?"

"It was really good. Fantastic. There were some... Surprises along the way. But they were good surprises. I'm happy to be back. What about you? How have you been?"

She dropped back from him, wiping her eyes. "Good... I mean... I don't know, I'm just really happy you're home."

 

**

 

Home. He wanted to wrap her into his arms and kiss her when she said it. He was home.

The front door knocked open behind them Ren called out: "Cerys!"

He watched her face light up, “Ren!” She dropped her arms from him and went to the door to greet him. “I had no idea you were coming! How are you?” She went to throw her arms around Ren.

He put a hand out to stop her.

The expression on her face was nearly heartbreaking -- she was so taken aback. Ren smirked and motioned for her to come closer. He unwound his shawl to reveal a little bundle, strapped to his chest.

She covered the huge grin that cracked into her face. “Oh… Ren! Mika! You...” She couldn't finish her sentence -- she just squeaked. “Can I… Can I hold it?”

With a shockingly gentle touch, Ren took the little person out of the harness and handed him to her.

“His name is Milo.” Mika said.

Cerys took to holding the little one right away. He’d never seen her around children before, but she was clearly very fond of them. “Milo…”

Iz peeked over her shoulder. A little pink face looked back at him, with dark eyes and whips of dark, curly hair.

Cerys looked at him. “Have you met him yet, Iz? I mean with your training and all…”

"Yeah. Not right away, but just a few weeks ago.”

She shifted so he could see the baby better. It reached around, grabbing her shirt and looking at everything curiously.

“So… When exactly did this happen?” Armitage joined them, looking tentatively over Cerys’ shoulder. He probably hadn't ever had a baby in his home before. In fact, Iz wouldn’t have been surprised if Armitage had never even been around a baby before. He didn’t look comfortable with the situation.

“Two months ago.” Mika beamed.

“Oh Mika… Ren… I’m so happy for you…” Cerys couldn't take her eyes off the baby.

In the time Iz spent training with the Ren, he'd come to the conclusion that he would make a great father. Certainly a moody one, but he’d at least be fun. And moody wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Maybe he did have a short temper, but it also meant he was capable of caring about people with a sort of fierce intensity.

Ren patted Cerys on the head. “You just… hang onto him for a bit, okay? I need a break.”

 

**

 

She watched Armitage as he worked on his datapad. He’d been home from work for three hours now, and it was dark out, but he hadn’t stopped working. This wasn’t unusual. Even before Mila passed, it wasn’t unusual. His mind had always been far too busy to just sit and relax.

“What do you want?”

She smiled. Evidently he was very familiar with the face she made when she wanted something.

She sat next to him at the table, inhaling deeply. She’d gone over and over what she needed to say, but none of the words felt quite right yet. There was a nearly painful tension in her chest, like her heart was being torn in two.

Armitage watched her closely as she tried to remember exactly what she had planned on saying. “I need to… we need to… um…”

He pushed his datapad to the side and leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed. “You two should take the ship.”

She blinked at him.

He shrugged. “It hasn’t been used since we settled here. Someone ought to get some use out of it.”

“You… How did you know?” She and Iz had started daydreaming about this -- a short planet-hopping trip -- before he even left for training with Ren. They'd never spoken to anyone else about it though.

He looked away from her, “Honestly, I’m a little shocked you’ve stuck around as long as you have. You haven’t had the chance to go explore yet, and your mind is far too busy to stay in one place too long.”

“I… are you sure?”

He looked confused, “Of what? Of course you can take the ship.”

She frowned at him, unsure of how to say what she wanted to say. There was no good way. “I don’t want to leave you.” She hacked off the last word. _Alone_. She didn’t want to leave him alone.

He looked at her quietly for a few moments, rubbing his jaw line. “I consider it one of my greatest failures that you weren’t able to see more of the galaxy growing up. You deserve much better than to be trapped on some remote planet. Please, go.”

The tension built up in her chest snapped at his comment. Armitage was highly reserved; she rarely got moments like this with him. She threw her arms around him before he could see the tears starting to well up in her eyes. “Oh… please don’t say that. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t taken me in. You’ve been the best… Really. I’m so insanely lucky it’s unbelievable.”

He was stiff as she hugged him. No different than usual; he really had no idea how to react to hugs. After a moment he loosened up and somewhat half-returned the hug, putting his hand on the back of her head. It was endearing, in a way completely unique to him.

“You’re a good daughter. Much better than I’ve ever deserved.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so, SO much for reading! As promised, my [Mila x Hux playlist](https://virgilvirgilvirgil.tumblr.com/post/164242861567/a-monster-without-teeth-mila-x-hux) and my [Cerys x Iz playlist](https://virgilvirgilvirgil.tumblr.com/post/164243185537/a-monster-without-teeth-cerys-x-iz).
> 
> But wait! The story's not over! Stay tuned for the sequel, Shark Attack, up late next week. It centers around Cerys and Iz's pilot on their trip -- Cohren -- as they visit a few important places and add two new OCs to their crew. Here's a sneak peak:
> 
> * * *
> 
> Cohren began to wonder what sort of walk this was when Iz turned into a police station. He glanced to Pip, but she seemed blissfully ignorant of the unusual situation. It was quiet inside the small station. Only one guard was on duty this late, a soft looking middle aged man Cohren was willing to bet wasn’t the person they’d come here to see. He looked surprised to see anyone this time of night.
> 
> “Hey.” Iz walked over to the man. “I’m curious… I have a friend who was brought in here earlier today. Taller than me, about my age…”
> 
> “Mouthy?”
> 
> “Uh… yeah.”
> 
> He jerked a finger toward the back room, “Haven’t transferred him yet. You here to see him?”
> 
> “Yeah. Please.”
> 
> “Go on back. He’s the only one back there.”
> 
> Iz gave he and Pip a familiar plastered-on smile -- he was nervous. "Come on, guys. You should meet my friend Sev. We used to be really good buddies before I met Cerys."
> 
> There were four small, barred cells. Three were dark and empty, but one had a light on. A younger man sat inside on the floor, his eyes closed. He had shaggy looking dark hair and was wearing a pair of loosely fitted, soft grey pants and a white shirt. He wasn’t wearing shoes. Cohren wondered if he was possibly arrested while in his pajamas.
> 
> “You’re back.” He said as they approached. Cohren couldn’t quite place if it was a question or a statement.
> 
> Iz sighed, “Sev… what are you doing in here? You could have easily gotten out by now.”
> 
> The man opened his strikingly green eyes. “I kind of like it in here.”
> 
> Iz looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Look, I’m going to get you out of here, okay?”
> 
> “Really? You’re going to talk to that guard and get me out of here? Why would you do that? You just said I could easily get out of here whenever I want.”
> 
> Iz was already walking out to the guard. “Sometimes it’s best to not manipulate people.”
> 
> The man rolled his eyes and looked up at Cohren from the floor. His indifferent gaze traveled down him to about hip level, at which point he finally noticed Pip. He smirked, leaning forward, “Well… you’re adorable. What’s your name?”
> 
> Pip smiled at him. She was a bit naïve at times. It’d been a source of distress for him, particularly when less desirable characters were smiling at her like Sev was. She was almost a little too innocent. “I’m Pip.”
> 
> His smirk cracked into a full grin and he laughed, “You even have a tiny name! How old are you? Twelve?”
> 
> “Seventeen.”
> 
> He wrinkled his nose, “No… Really? Damn, you’re cute.” He sniffed and looked up at Cohren. “Is she your girl?”
> 
> “What? No…”
> 
> “No? Really? She’s about the right height for you.”
> 
> Pip made a small squeaking noise. Cohren oscillated between offended and embarrassed.
> 
> “Well... You’re repulsive.” Was Iz _really_ friends with this guy?


End file.
